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“Official phone of the douchebag”
~ Bluetooth on their product

Bluetooth is a common disease caused by modern mobile phone use, most likely as a result of excessive levels of stray radiation emanating from handsets within one's personal area.


An advanced case of Bluetooth

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Bluetooth.


  • People hear voices without having mobile phone in their hand
  • Those voices, nonetheless, do not stop calling "collect".
  • The user's teeth turn blue or start glowing Chernobyl-style.
  • Marital problems after asking new spouse for a ring-tone instead of a ring.
  • Problems driving automobiles while holding one phone on each ear.
  • Compulsive tendencies to stockpile blue teethbrish under which are hidden more cell-phones.
  • No More Ears™.
  • Annoying habits of taking phone calls during movies.
  • Compulsive tendencies to stockpile blue toothpaste.
  • Obsessive-compulsive desire to drop everything at intimate moments and call in for messages.
  • Refusal to stop singing I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues between calls.
  • Failure to get rid of blue feelings even with anti-depressants.
  • Smurfette's number is inexplicably on speed dial.
  • Blue Screen Of Death's after watching the Blue Country.
  • Like to leave bluetooth systems on. They give out nice blue lights(Which actually means self destruct. 60 secs)
  • Find words like "Connect with? your mom" on phone. And accept it.
  • Suddenly feel the urge to tell your friend to switch their bluetooth systems on


First registered Bluetooth logo, in year 971

Note: Anyone with sixteen or more of these symptoms should be rushed to hospital as CODE BLUE. Patients and staff are reminded that cell phones must be turned the fuck off at all times while in the hospital and they be given Motorolas to help reduce the blue virus multiplying as they self destruct in one minute.

Bluetooth invention


Currently registered Bluetooth logo. OBEY

The Bluetooth system was invented by the danish viking King Harold Bluetooth in 970, but the lack of computers etc. make the bluetooth fail, and it was buried with the king in the Roskilde Cathedral in 986, in the mid 80' the king was to be found, and danish scientists evolved the Bluetooths system as we know it today.



The disease was named after Harald Bluetooth, king of Denmark (Circa. 958-970) who was famous for inventing the mobile phone, using wood chippings and English peasants. Of course, the use of his 'blueberry' as he called it led to being branded with this timeless title. It also explains why 1 in every 6 children in Denmark are born with Bluetooth enabled phones in the womb.

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