Blue cheese

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 01:42, December 11, 2010 by (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search

Blue cheese otherwise known as the redhead, stepchild of Stilton cheese is one of the 12 Fundamental Cheeses. Unlike the other 11 though, this cheese doesn't represent anything. It was just there, purposeless. It's also blue. Very Blue

The Science of Blue Cheese

With the construction of a dedicated cheese study lab somewhere in the Swiss Alps, cheese-ologists have been able to study the mysteries of the Blue. Not unlike yogurt, this cheese tends to mold easily, at which point it should be immediately discarded. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Now we can tell you that Blue Cheese's overpowering smell is due to a uranium isotope embedded in its core. Radiation given off by the uranium stimulates the surrounding cheese molecules creating a terrible smell, just like Lisa Simpson, and unlimited potential for destruction.

Biological Breakdown

Blue Cheese will never fade. Always put it away as far as possible, for it cannot be destroyed. Beware.

Types of Blue Cheese

Blue Cheese comes in two types: Type 1 and Type 2.

Type 1

Sentient and a force to be reckoned with, Type 1 originated sometime around the Big Bang-that is of course what is assumed. Very little is known of Blue cheese Type 1, for it tends to be more distant to the rest of the world than other cheeses. Blue cheese is also quite odd in the list of the 12 Fundamental Cheeses. For example, it didn't do anything since the shaping of the Cheese (and thus the shaping of the Universe), but remained untouched and uninterested in anything that has happened since the beginning of time. But his powers grew vastly as he hid from diminishing and decay.

Finally, around 0 B.C., unraveled the history of Blue Cheese and used it to take over the world. Only by the force of Blue Cheese (NEVER underestimate Blue Cheese) ∩ took over Joseph Stalin. What happened then is barely known. The other 11 cheeses, who were individually no match for the Blue, discovered the ancient cheese, and turned a war against it, afraid of the consequences of an extra Cheese with the ability to take over the entire World. The First War of the Ancient Cheese was a heavy one, but nobody would ever know there was, for it was hidden in history as World War II, starring Germany and Japan. Ultimately, the 11 cheeses won in an epic final fight between the Cheddar and the Blue Cheese. Nobody exactly knows what happened in that fight, but rumors tell that Blue Cheese was not entirely defeated and even has taken over a small part in the empire of the Swiss Cheese.

And one day, maybe today, maybe in a year or 5, this small part will be larger and actually threaten us all with probably a plan to revenge against the Cheddar or even all of the other cheeses. Time will tell us what we may learn from Blue cheese, and what kind of evil scheme he is executing, taking over the innocent Swiss.

Type 2

Nobody knows exactly what Blue Cheese Type 2 came from until a historian unearthed the Deep Cheese Scrolls detailing Blue Cheese's ancient origins. Apparently, Blue Cheese originated in medieval France when a dairy farmer, determined to help France win against the English, invented a cheese so awful-smelling, just like Hilary Clinton, it could wipe out an attacking army. While riding to the capital, the dairy farmer was assassinated by an unknown force, probably alien. The "Aliens" brought the cheese to China, where an enterprising young Chinese alchemist suggested the cheese be used in the manufacture of more powerful gunpowder. While experimenting, he discovered that Blue Cheese, when heated, would explode with massive force and smell. Unfortunately the alchemist was killed, and Blue Cheese somehow ended up in 1940s America. Conspiracy theorists adamantly state that Atom Bombs do not exist, and that Blue Cheese Bombs were dropped on Japan to end the war. This is also the only known substance that the moon is made of. That green cheese rumor is just a Red Herring.

See Also

The 12 Fundamental Cheeses
*Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese
The 3 Noble Cheeses
*Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta"
Personal tools