Portal:Music

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.

By far the most musical portal you will ever find.



Sound-of-music

To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.

The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.

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Highlighted Article

SkinFlute
The Skin Flute has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours.

The skin flute is a musical instrument of the woodwind family. Unlike other woodwind instruments, a flute is a reedless wind instrument that produces its sound from the flow of air against an edge called "blowing". The size and shape of a skin flute is both wide spread and varied, from the 3 1/2" "Pee Wee" through to the related hybrid Pink Oboe some of which have been known to top 14 inches, with substantial girth.

The Skin Flute is traditionally not a difficult instrument to master, although some might argue that it is an acquired taste, egged on by a deep desire to play with it and lave attention on it. Unlike the woodwind flute, it is not necessary to perfect an embouchure to play the skin flute, making the skin flute far easier to master than an orchestral flute - gag reflex excepted. As it only has one single hole, it is unlike its modern brethern; however should one encounter a skin flute with hole(s) along its sides it is best left alone. Careful manipulation with the fingers, tongue or lips can provide a variety of responses, allowing a master skin flautist to reach a crescendo or ease into a more subdued passage.…

Archive Article credit: Mhaille (more…)
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Music in the News

LudwigvanBeethoven
"What?"

VIENNA, Austria -- At a dinner party planned by his live-in girlfriend and attended, for the most part, by her friends, Ludwig van Beethoven admitted to the one friend he was allowed to invite that he hears just fine, thank you very much.

"Feigning a state of deafness is the only way I can get time to myself to make music." he said, between sips of brandy from his favorite pewter mug, "Before, it was all 'Blah, blah, blah. Wiggy, you need to listen to me. Blah, blah, blah'. I'd just get through the 'Dah-dah-dah dum' and she'd come clomping into the room to unburden herself of a lengthy monologue about my abysmal taste in personal attire, or about how she saw the most wonderful material for new curtains during her latest foray into town. Now I can get some peace, at least. I'm up to 'Dah-dah-dah, dum. Dah-dah-dah dum' now...it's a work in progress"

Archive Article credit: Modusoperandi (more…)
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Featured Image

Paulwalrus

If John Lennon was the Walrus, then why is this Paulrus part of the Beatles exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science and History?

Nominate stuff Image credit: Zana Dark Image archive
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Featured Artist

Bowie-shocked
Bowie's crooked grimace changes quickly when the Doctor explains that things "won't be working quite the same again"

David "give it here" Bowie (January 23 1889 - August 12 2016) is the pseudonym of former London second-hand car salesman David "Yeah, course it has an MOT" Jones. His chief claim to fame was his portrayal of a bi-sexual Alien in the early seventies.

He has largely continued an unsuccessful career to the present day though bit parts in mediocre films and jumping on the latest bandwagon in Music.…

Archive Article credit: Sycamore (more…)
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Lyric of the Week

No, I'm not a stranger Look! I have an umbrella!

~ From the UnTunes song: You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna)
(more…)
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Featured UnTunes

UnTunes2
UnTunes     

 
Middle age
PLAY>MP3

Middle-Aged Suburban White Guy Rap


Featuring the smooth vocal stylings of "DJ" Daryl Dipstick & Doofus.

Daryl: Word!
Doofus (in wimpy nasal): Sure, I got Word. Excel, Powerpoint, the whole office suite. <snort>
Daryl: Would you shut up, homie? I’m trying to throw down some tough rhymes here.
Doofus: Sorry. So, what does Word, mean?
Daryl: I don’t know - it’s just something they say. Now shut up or you’re fired! Uhm, I’ve got to get my groove on, or get in touch with my inner child, or something. Hmmm… wait… I got one!

Yo homies, my rhymes are much better than crack
So pull up a chair and put down that smack
And don’t get in my face cuz my man’s got my back
It’s the Middle Aged Suburban White Guy Rap
Check it out, G. Am I a bad buttocked mother hugger or what? Ha ha ha!
It’s the American dream, the life that I got – 2 kids and a wife, a Beemer, a dog…

Archive Musical credit: Tooltroll (more…)
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Recent Articles in Music

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Musical Articles by Genre

Classical Country Genres of Music Hip Hop / Rap


Jazz Popular / R&B Rock (General) Other Musical Articles
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The Beatles
John Lennon | Paul McCartney | Pete Best | George Harrison | Ringo Starr | The Fifth Beatle | Yoko Ono
Albums
Thank Thank You (1962) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell! (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | The White Album (1968) | Yellow Submarine (1969) | Abbey Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970)
Related articles
Beatlefication | Beatlemania | The Beatles In India | British Invasion | Liverpool | "Paul is dead" hoax | McCartneyism | The Revolution: A history | Maxwell Edison | BBC | Beatles About | The Beatles Tribute Band | Mark David Chapman | UnNews:John Lennon denied resurrection for fourth time | The Rutles
Notable songs
"Back in the U.S.S.R." | "Hey Jude" | "I Am the Walrus" | "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" | "Why?:Don't we do it in the road?" |
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