Blexicans

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“Blexico: The land of Blexicans.”
~ Carl Sagan on the origin of Blexicans
“Blexico: Every white man's dream”
~ Anonymous white boy
Blexico
La Republica de black man
Blexico
Motto: "For one race, all"
Anthem: "Blexico, envy of white nations"
Capital Blexico City
Largest city Blexico City
Official language(s) Swahili
Government Aristocratic oligarchy
Market leader Barak Skywalker
Declaration
 of Independence
May 5th, 1821
from Israel
Currency cotton
Religion Black Liberation Theology
Major exports cotton
Major imports Mexicans

edit Origins

The famed Blexican story is a mysterious legend. The actual true story has eluded society's top scientist like Bill Nye and Dr. Dre for years. The most popular theory states that the humble Blexican emerged in around 5000 BC, a result of the invention of the first country border. It is believed that the a select group of chicanos was once seduced by negroes, thus creating the a race of illegitimate chicano-negroes now known as Blexicans. However, one story that has gained popularity in recent years is the theory of selective breeding. The theory states that a long long time ago, 20 Mexicans, 80 Africans, and 1 white person were taken to some mysterious place out of this world and all married Mormon style to each to each other. Then, after 50 years of careful breeding, all were killed but one in a match to the death, resulting in a genetically 20% Mexican (somewhat fast), 80% Black (a pretty good jumper), and 1% white (normal skin color and mild intelligence) man with initials EB.

edit National Country

Most Blexicans today live in the Democratic Republic of Blexico, a country somewhere inbetween Mexico and Israel. The national flag is white, to symbolize their superior color traits, with small black and brown crisscross stripes representing their athletic ability. The national bird is the Caca bird, a nearly extinct bird only found in Blexico. The national sport is a cross between soccer, basketball, and ultimate frisbee, called Blomgrenballee for its true blooded Mexican creator.

edit Blexico in War

Currently, Blexico is allied with the State of Israel. Most of the IDF forces actually are Blexicans; thanks to Blexico's efforts in 1725, both Israel and the United States are in possession of nuclear technology. Much of Israel's military success can be attributed to the fierceness and tenacity of EB's progeny.

edit Race and Diversity: "Equal Opportunity for All"

edit The 100% Blexicans

Approximately 345/901ths of Blexican permanent residents are true Blexicans. You can tell a true Blexican by it's white skin. These people have 99.91% of the money ($5) in Blexico. They control the government, harshly oppress all other races, and take the money for themselves: In a sense, they are the aristocratic class, as they own about 99.91/100ths of the nation's $5 economy. Blexicans frequently study the Third Reich in order to educate themselves about the world, but mostly just about their allies, the Israelis. In fact, they are considered part of one of the most educationally advanced civilizations in the world.

edit The mexicans

About 1/4 of Blexico's population consists of Mexicans seeking political asylum in Blexico. They come running from drug cartels and are put to work in factories, much like the Chinese.

edit The African-Blexicans

About half of Blexico is populated by African-Blexicans. They are mostly agricultural farmers, content to pick cotton for free. They work hard and willingly for meals every few days. They are the core of Blexico's thriving economy, bringing in about 3$ annually.

edit Famous Blexicans

Most Blexicans are incognito as either Black people, Mexicans, or the occasional white person. Some famous Blexicans are:

  • Antonio Banderas
  • Barak Obama
  • Kanye West
    BarackSkywalker
    Barak Skywalker, a very famous Blexican market leader
  • Luke Skywalker
  • Anikan Skywalker
  • Jacob Skywalker
  • Billy bob Skywalker
  • Mishel Daletski
  • Barak Skywalker
  • Felix Skywalker
  • George Lucas Skywalker
  • Adolf Skywalker
  • Martin Luther King Jr
  • W.E. Dubois
  • B.T. Washington
  • S. 'Coach' Hall

edit Characteristics of a Real Blexican

So you might be wondering, what makes a Blexican real anyway? They are 20% mexican, 80% Black, and 1% white, but sometimes 98% asian, 1% black, and 1% mexican. They know how to run, swim, and generally just avoid authority. Also, they have nearly mad hops. They're not pure black, but they're close, which means that they can jump about 10 feet for every one foot of leg-length. Finally, a true Blexican is almost the epitome of a whitey: white skin, white remarks, even white facial and emotional expressions, like jumping and screaming randomly and faking happiness.

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