Blackburn

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Blackburn is a large town in Lancashire known throughout the northwest for its many great attractions, like the great abandoned saw mill near tesco, the gas container, and a bench. Blackburn was built in 1942 as a target for German bombers during the blitz, in an attempt to keep fighter planes away from the city of Manchester to the south. The resulting damage and aftermath of the blitz didn't damage the surroundings too much, so the government opened the resulting fire-damaged bomb site up for cheap housing for those on the lower climbs of the social ladder.

[edit] Geography

Blackburn is situated around 175 miles northwest-ish of Norwich. It is connected to the M6 and M65 motorways, allowing for quick escape (the motorway junctions at Blackburn only allow people to join the motorway, not to leave it there). There is a train station which has regular connections to neighbouring Darwen, an adjacent pit of despair. The train service is heavily subsidised, if not completely funded by the county council, due to the fact that fares are never paid from the station. According to their records, in the last business year, Northern Rail had eight paid-up customers travelling from Blackburn.

[edit] Demographics

[edit] Racial Statistics

99% of Blackburn is Asian. Most of them, however, live in lofts and basements, hiding from the general public.But all 100%has shagged a member of their own family, this means all of blackburn is fully imbred!

[edit] Religion

All of Blackburn's Asian population are Muslim. The white population is similarly deeply religious, most of which believe they live in the biblical representation of Hell.They also worship there world - class football club that has a farmer playing in centre midfield.everyone in the town has a last name of either patel or dingle

[edit] Sexual Orientation

Blackburnians prefer mating with cousins and other close relatives. Homosexuality is unheard of, but probably unwittingly practiced in some Chav communities, mainly up in Shad, where the gender of many women is debatable.

[edit] Facilities

[edit] Health Care

Blackburnineans are proud of their health care facilities. Health care in Blackburn is based at the Royal Blackburn Hospital up by Shad. By far its biggest and busiest department, The Genito-Urinary and Sexual Health Disorder department is a leader in its field, with many new Sexually Transmitted Diseases being discovered, and indeed traced back, to Blackburn.

[edit] Fire and Rescue

Blackburn also has a Fire Department, which is mainly involved with arson (Especially up round Shad). Its rescue efforts are also well used in Blackburn, involved in a much-publicised operation on Monday 1999, when a drunken prostitute had scaled the side of the town hall and became stuck on a ledge. She was safely brought back down to the ground, and asked to continue with her mayoral duties.

[edit] Policing

Policing is a boom industry in Blackburn, being completely funded by a widespread and complex network of speed cameras. Neighbourhood policing is especially important in Blackburn, to combat the overwhelming number of people from the Chav ethnic community living within the town. The neighbourhood policing effort is therefore, unsurprisingly, mainly based in Shad.

[edit] The Other Blackburn

Blackburn was so popular, they build it again in Scotland, beside Livingston, Scotland. Sadly the other Blackburn is now more famous with a better football team and its own supermodel, saint, popstar Susan Boyle. So now all of the successful people from old Blackburn are sent up north to Scotland. Sadly there never been anyone successful from Blackburn.

Ancient Palatine of Lancashire
	Lancaster | Blackburn | Burnley | Padiham | Liverpool | St Helens | Wigan Preston | Manchester | Blackpool | Rochdale | Stockport Darwen | Bolton | Denshaw | The Pennines | Lanky Twang George Formby | Christopher Eccleston | Narnia | Ashton-In-Makerfield

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