Black sweat

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The Black Sweat was a disease that plagued Earth. It occurred mainly in (you guessed it) black people, including Africans and slaves. Rare outbreaks among people of other races occurred as well. In fact, at one point in time, everybody in the world has or will suffer from the Black Sweat. Thankfully scientist who aren't working in the World Health Organisation have found that this disease did affect everybody, so now noone cares.

[edit] Causes

The Black Sweat can be caused by many things. The main cause is when the anger vein in black people is put under a lot of pressure. The use of drugs, such as hallucinogens and ecstasy, greatly increase your risk of contracting the Black Sweat as well. Scientific research shows this is because these drugs make you feel happy and see what makes you happy. When the effects wear off, you get pissed because the happy is all gone.

These causes are the same for other people too, but the lack of anger and the lack of hate for white people in other races lessens the pressure on the anger vein. So, the Black Sweat only occurs in .2% of the non-black population.

[edit] Past Cases

The Black Sweat was the disease that killed nearly all the slaves that died in America. The 16% that died on the boats died of the Black Sweat. Every other slave that died died because the hatred towards their white masters went straight to the anger vein.

Africans in the battles at places such as Tripoli died of the Black Sweat as well. While many historians believe the Africans who died in such battles died of physical wounds, it was the anger unleashed after the battles that killed all the warriors. One conversation from this time between a black medic and a soldier shows this anger:

Medic: You gon' be aight, man. Ou' medicin gon' cure you, man.

Soldier: N*gga, there ain' no savin me, that white bastard shot me!

Feeling such as these were what killed the black soldiers in these epic battles.

[edit] Recent Cases

Although the Black Sweat was an epidemic back then, and doctors have a cure for this disease, the occasional case of the Black Sweat pops up. The Black Sweat hit Michael Jackson 20 years ago, when his hair caught on fire. A clip of the conversation Michael had with the ambulance driver shows the cause of his Black Sweat.

Michael Jackson: Damn that white stage set-up dude! The dumbass set the fiyah things up wrong!

It was at this time that Michael Jackson contracted the Black Sweat. (Un)Fortunately, he was a survivor of this deadly disease. His near-encounter with death made him realize that the only way to get over his hatred of white people was to become one himself. The Black Sweat defined Michael Jackson as we know him today; a white "man" who molests little boys at his amusement park/ranch.

Doctors recently also found a case of the Black Sweat in Minnesota-native singer Prince. While the superstar was making over his LA house, which he rents at $70,000 a month (Prince redoes house). His landlord, NBA star and fellow black man Carlos Boozer, is suing Prince over the alterations made to his house. Medical scientists believe Carlos Boozer's decision to sue Prince was incredibly white of him, and it was the reason Prince got the terrible disease. It was only a minor case, though, and Prince survived the disease. He tells the story of the Black Sweat in his new song, titled "Black Sweat".

[edit] Symptoms

The Black Sweat is a terrible disease, and early detection is the key to surviving. Symptoms of the Black Sweat include increased talk and hatred of white people, inexplicable fits of anger, an audible heart beat, increased slapping of bitches, and profuse sweating that smells sweet. If you notice any of these in your friends, black or not, call 911 and get immediate help. This could be the key to saving your friend's life.

[edit] Pros of the Black Sweat

Even though the Black Sweat killed thousands of black people throughout time, good things came out of the patients and survivors. Darrell B. Cock was a victim of the Black Sweat. He noticed his sweetened sweat one day and tasted it out of curiosity. The taste, as he later recalled, was orgasmic in his mouth. He created a pop out of it, and decided to name it after himself. But he didn't want to drink a pop called Cock, so he renamed it Coke. His evil twin Asian brother, Pep Si Cock, got the Black Sweat after his father, a very angry black man, incested him multiple times. Pep Si Cock realized the same thing about his sweat as Darrell did at the same time. His pop is now known as Pepsi.