Bizitches
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Look! In the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No! Not even close. It's the fabled bizitch, a creature dormant in the legends of the gangstaz and playaz for all but the most knowledgable Mac-Daddys.
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[edit] The Origins of the Bizitch
Sugar, spice, and everything nice. At least that's what Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, and Dr. Dre thought they were putting into the cauldron when unkowingly creating bizitches. What came out........... was worse than evil. What it was, nobody will ever truly know, and most would likely want to forget the instance, but it must for the sake of science be documented.
[edit] The Initial escape
The bizitch had escaped soon after the tragedy, biting Dr. Dre's compton head off, causing him to bleed to death. The ensuing chase was disastrous. The bizitch had ran for miles and miles, off to New York City to breed. Once the surviving creators had tracked the monster down, following the destruction in its wake, they came upon a city that didn't look like New York, but exactly like South-Central Los Angeles. There were crackheads littered among the crack-pipes and dead homies. Then a tourist guide told them this is how it was before the bizitch came. But little beknownst to them, the tourist guide was a bizitch in disguise, poised to strike.
[edit] The eradication begins
They had eventually been attacked by the Bizitch New York Tour Guide, with its lightning-quick strikes and fierce claws, but was no match for Snoop Dogg's AK-47. After making fast work of the Tour Guide, they began to see bizitches everywhere. They followed them to their holy grounds. These Holy Grounds were in fact the New York sanitation system, formerly occupied by crocodiles. After going to the center, they saw a horrifying sight. Paris Hilton, as the original bizitch is now known as, was fucking Bill Clinton, creating more bizitches. After a shriek of terror from Ice Cube, the two noble heroes were spotted. They were immediately chased out, saving themselves from a fate worse then death.
[edit] What went wrong?
Little beknownst to the unwitting creators; sugar, spice, and everything nice does not mean cocaine, marijuana, and trojan-brand condoms. This combination had indeed created the most terrifyingly slutty creature that has ever walked the Earth. The effects of the cocaine had made the creature anorexic, gave it a horrifying figure, and had given it the inclination to not wear panties. The Marijuana had given the creature the need for snacks (human heads and penises) and a dumb, glazed look in its eyes. The Trojan Condoms had unfortunately given it the inclination not to take the pill, leading to the non-stop breeding of the beast.
[edit] Where to find them, and what to do
The bizitches are now all over the country, in all towns, cities, and villages, and within all ethnicities. They are highly dangerous, and should never be wittingly approached. They will attempt to seduce you into hot, steamy jungle sex. You do not want to do this. Or maybe you do. Unless you want to have it on your concience that you have created one of these abominations. If you have unwittingly had hot, steamy jungle sex with a bizitch, snort lots of cocaine, and smoke lots of marijuana. You'll forget about it in no time.
