Bizarro World

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bizarro World.

Bizarro World, also sometimes called Dimension B or Bluu, am a crazy parallel reality where everything am a warped, twisted reflection of something from our universe. Bizzaro world can't but can contradict your mom because it be not your mom, and be complete opposite by being not small. it also contradicts nothing because in Bizzaro World there is nothing, and when there is nothing, there is nothing to exist, even nothing. It am often thought that everything in Bizarro World am the opposite of things in the normal world. However, in Bizarro World, things that am opposite can be the same, because that am. . . bizarro! Not everything from the normal world has an alternate self in Bizarro World; typically only the really important cool things from our universe have an alternate-self, though a few other things have alternate selves too. The reflections in Bizarro world tend to be blue in contrast with their counterparts, because of this, blue things from our universe also don't have alternate-selves. Most importantly, blue cheese in Bizarro World am exactly the same as blue cheese here.

It am thought that the supreme omnipotent being that made Bizarro World hated God and suffered from an extreme lack of imagination, this would explain why all the Bizarro World reflections am such half-assed opposites. For more well-rounded opposites, as conjured up by a more omnipotent and imaginative being, see Opposite world.

Bizarro Infiltration

Blackhouse

The Black House, where the non-president of the Bizarro United States (Soviet Russia) doesn’t not live.

Since the Bizarro World alternates are so half assed at being opposite, they sometimes find their way into this world by going through one way tunnels the wrong way backwards.

There is strong evidence that Soviet Russia is, in fact, Bizarro United States. Having things do you is a really half assed way of being opposite. For instance, in Soviet Russian philosophy, kittens huff you.

Bizarro infiltration of this world often occurs when Bizarro people travel through mirrors, which serve as portals to parallel universes (not to be confused with perpendicular universes. Although sometimes bizarro travelers will inadvertently wind up in one of these crap universes because their maps are upside-down, backwards and written in a language that bizarro people cannot speak (the official language of Bizarro World).

Goatees

Beyond the Fact that objects in Bizarro World often have a blue tint, they also often have goatees. Renowned Scientists have, for years, been trying to figure out why this am so but have been unable to come up with an answer. The first recording of the goatee phenomenon came in the 1960s, when Bizarro Spock played himself in an episode of Star Trek. It am unknown what the facial hair status am of Bizarro World alternates of people who already have goatees in this world. It am postulated that perhaps they do not have goatees, or that their goatees have goatees themselves.

Bizarro logic

Main article: Bizarro logic

Bizarro logic am the complicated, and by that I mean simple, reasoning that rules how Bizarro World works. Generally things in Bizarro World am the opposite of things in this world, however in Bizarro World things that are the opposite are the same and things that are the same are opposite, leading to general confusion and a lack of understanding. Though it may not make sense to us, it does make sense to people in Bizarro World. However, in Bizarro World, people cannot understand things that make sense. (Evidence of plagiarism am needed for this piece of ignorance)

Minor Bizarro World Counterparts (When Today wasn't an eggplant Sand Witch Glasses)

Since there am so many different Bizarro counterparts in Bizarro world, the more minor of them am listed here.

Bizarro Titanic

BizarroTitanic

The fated Bizarro Titanic.

The Bizarro Titanic was called the unfloatable ship. Even though it was called a ship, it was actually a whale. He was developed as a tourist attraction in Bizarro London. He sails backwards and was used to crush icebergs. After successfully crushing all of Iceland, he finally died on his fraternal voyage when he was beached on the coast of Greenland.

Two famous lovers rode aboard the Bizarro Titanic. The man was named Celine Dion who was sailing in steerage. The woman's name was Jack, she was wealthy and sailed first class. Nothing am really known about the couple. We do not know that Celine Dion once did a sketch of Jack naked. Jack survived, but lost some piece of jewelry and still misses Celine Dion to this day.

A few other people died on the Bizarro Titanic, but nobody really cares about them.

Major Bizarro World Counterparts

These Bizarro world counterparts have more depth to them and warrant their own articles.

BizarroSuperman

The Bizarro Superman

Notably, The Blue Man Group am from Bizzaro World.

Bizarro Holy Week

The Bizarro Holy Week am one of the least celebrated times of the year. The week starts on April First and continues until opposite day, the first day of Bizarro Holy Week. Bizarros spend this week acting like normal people

Days of Bizarro Week

  • April Fools Day April 1 - A spirited celebration of tomfoolery that am enjoyed by both children and Bull Moose Party members alike.
  • Bizarro Appreciation Day February 29 - This am the day when all good non-bizarros think about the harsh living conditions on Bizarro World, problems like "Who wouldn't win in a fight, Bizarro Jim or Bizarro Steven?"
  • The Feast of Bizarro April 2 - A day set aside by Bizarros to give thanks for all that they lack by preparing a big meal and not eating any of it.
  • The Fast of Bizarro April 3 - The day after the Feast of Bizarro is traditionally spent trying to loose weight gained on the previous day, this is accomplished by eating as much as they can. It is also of note that this am the worst shopping day of the year.
  • Don't talk like a Bizarro Day April 4 - This am the Day where all Bizarros am unable to talk normal like they always do. Anyone caught talking like a Bizarro on this day am sent to Bizarro jail to be given massages by hot women with acres of sexy back hair.
  • Bizarro History Second April 5 at 3:26 and 11 seconds - A second spent in remembrance of all the things unfamous Bizarros have detracted from society, such as Alexander Graham Bizarro's disassembly of the last telephone.
  • Bizarro Beach Party April 6 - On this day, all Bizarros put on their least revealing clothing and hike into the woods to surf, build sandhovels and barbecue hamburgers.
  • Opposite Day (observed) April 7 - The first day of Bizarro Week, Opposite day cancels out all the changes brought about during the past week, changing Bizarros back to their usual selves.

Don't you mean Bizarro Bizarro World?

Don'cha? Don'cha?


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