Bishopbriggs
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“I was told by other Scots that people from Bishopbriggs were so posh, and then some ten year old tried to sell me Crack outside one of those ghastly paki shops”
~ Oscar Wilde on Bishopbriggs
Bishopbriggs is situated on the north side of Glasgow, this East Dunbartonshire town is infamous as a refuge for wealthy criminals and despots who are able to evade justice by hiding in the many spacious detached houses in the area. The town is often referred to as “the Scottish El Rey”.
[edit] About Bishopbriggs
The tradition of seeking refuge in Bishopbriggs dates back to medieval times when renegade bishops fled from the fury of Rome and found sanctuary in Quin’s, a hostelry that has stood since 754. The tale of the bishops is where the town’s name originates, “Briggs” being the Latin word for rathole.
The town is divided into two halves by Kirkintilloch Road, an old trade route between the ‘Shire and the city of Glasgow. Until as recently as a decade ago there was evidence of this trade continuing with Glasgow providing urchins to work in diamond mines, and as assassins for the crime families, in return for the world famous home baking of the Bishopbriggs Spinsters Circle, which helped the city through two world wars and a series of famines in the early 1960’s.
The western side of Kirkintilloch Road is the older part of Bishopbriggs and the grand, sandstone villas are home to a number of famed artists and writers, such as Tony Hart and Dan Brown. Each year there is a cultural festival with the highlight being a mass freestyle sing-song in Bishopbriggs park. During one of these sing-songs in 1956 a pensioner known only as Cyril freestyled for 46 minutes and at one stage produced a string of verses which are better known today as Wannabe, the no.1 hit for the Spice Girls.
On the other side of the road lies the infamous district of Woodhill, home to many a vagabond and rogue. This area is controlled by two notorious families – the Caldwells and the Riordans. The two families were originally arch-enemies until, in 1974, they bumped into each other at a Celtic charity dinner and realised they had a common bond. Since then they have worked together, providing sanctuary and “entertainment” for famous villains and war criminals including Idi Amin, Harold Shipman and Martin McGuinness.
The leader of the Riordans is known as “Shovelhands” after it was claimed he dug Davie Cooper’s grave without the use of a spade. Nothing is known about the Caldwells who wear Neil Lennon masks to cover their faces.
Legend has it that a long forgotten Bishopbriggs watering hole, The Manor, was the site of darts ace Jocky Wilson’s greatest victory, when he apparently defeated the devil by 6 sets to 5 in a match which decided the fate of Wilson’s lover’s soul. The aforementioned lover went on to represent Scotland at both cricket and football.
Bishopbriggs is trying desperately to become a tourist town, and it is meeting with some success, with events such as the Bishopbriggs Gala Day and the grand turning on of the Christmas lights now renowned internationally. Places like the Leisuredrome now attract tens of people from outside Bishopbriggs every year.
Bishopbriggs has two secondary schools, both of which are generally regarded as poor examples of modern education (very poor indeed).
[edit] See Also
Especially Bisht Hi
