Bing Crosby
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Bing Crosby was a popular entertainer of the late 1980's, early 1950's and in a past-life as a deck swabber for the Spanish Armada, the mid-1700's. Beloved by millions, hated by millions, public opinion of Crosby is, redundantly speaking, divided. He was notably famous for hilarious comic monologues, crooning Christmas tunes to ring in the holiday season, and an incorrigible passion for scrubbing planks of cedar.
Born in the age of Vaudeville, Crosby charmed radio audiences throughout the U.S. with his lilting tone and lilting financial advice. His weekly radio show, Crosby's Cavalcade of Comedy, captured the majority of listeners, beat them, and threatened to cut things off them if they didn't spill their guts. Many began spilling their guts through fan mail without any threats of torture. Cosby's nearest competitor, "The Schiltz Beer Mystery Hour," only got half the audience, which was still a lot, considering that the solution to every mystery was Schlitz Beer.
From radio, Crosby then moved into the realm of "movin' pitchers," with many commercially successful pitchers where he was paired with another (male, women being not allowed to display talent until the late 50s) talent who didn't sing. And once with one who did! Movie critics today credit Crosby with a literally blistering onscreen persona and unshielded puppy-dog sad eyes that are unleashed frequently. Known for his horrible temper, in Crosby's most famous movie, "White Christmas", Crosby actually broke co-star Danny Kaye's arm for a scene in which he portrayed a man with a broken arm after he remarked that Crosby looked like a "hippopotamus in nylons".
Crosby soon became a multi-millionaire super duper mega star following his several television appearances and clean-cut comedy routines and was a frequent guest at the fabulous Playboy Mansion in Beaverly Hills, California, where he had sex with white women many years before it was publicly divulged to the black community that white women actually had vaginas.
Crosby is still alive, and has, in recent years, become an ironically outspoken critic of the so-called "hip-hop culture," with its unrealistic emphasis on getting rich and having sex with lots of white women.
Crosby was also a held a desire to be a member of Metallica, until he changed his mind after he suffered a severe heart attack due to the sound of electric guitars.
