Big Pond, Nova Scotia

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Big Pond is one of the largest cities in the world. It features 25 casinos, 17 parking structures, 89 fake Irish bars, 105 Starbucks cafes and 22 meaningless buildings. Big Pond is an extremely popular hangout spot among certain celebrities; visitors are quite likely to run into either Nicole Kidman or Lara Croft at some point. The main distinguishing feature of Big Pond is the enormous pond, which is almost five inches deep in some places along its four-foot length.

edit Famous disasters

  1. Sinking of the Titanic
  2. Death of Elvis
  3. Sinking of the Bismarck
  4. Kidnapping of J. Edgar Hoover
  5. Sinking of Atlantis
  6. The Big Pond Explosion of '64
  7. That Disaster

edit Law enforcement

Big Pond is the only place in Canada that has its own independent police force, the BPPD, which is often confused with the BPRD even though the two are completely different. People considering breaking the law in Big Pond would do well to reconsider, as the BPPD is justly famous for the brutality with which they treat lawbreakers. The one cell in the police station is rarely used, since any infraction is liable to result in the perpetrator's death at the hands of the police.

Local ordinances to be aware of:

  • Staring at someone for more than two seconds is punishable by scourging
  • Driving at night is prohibited by law unless you are a resident of Mexico
  • Spitting on the sidewalks counts as littering (and in some cases as biological warfare)

edit Climate

The climate of Big Pond is extremely hot; the average temperature is higher that of Phoenix, Arizona. At night it becomes extremely cold; citizens often indulge in various carnal activities in attempts to keep warm, resulting in the cities' nickname "The Big O".

edit Attractions

  1. The Big Pond beach
  2. The Firehall
  3. Lochlomen Dirt Road: The longest paved dirt road in the world
  4. The Umpire State building
  5. The tree that was seen in the Lion King

edit Famous Foods

Some of the best foods in the world are eaten in Big Pond. Particularly famed is their peculiar version of haggis, which is served in the stomach of a live sheep. Amongst other mustn't-miss delicacies, there is a strange red blobby thing that appears randomly in otherwise perfectly ordinary food. Dubbed Salmon-ella by the inhabitants due to the colour, it appears nevertheless to be perfectly safe to consume in small quantities.

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