Big Beautiful Woman
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“You aren't nearly as fat as my friends said you where”
“A BBW? Well I drive a Porsche”
“Damn Girl! look at chu wit all dem curves, and me, wiff no brakes”
“Noooo, don't eat me, I said it like you spell it p-h-a-t”
"Big Beautiful Woman" (commonly abbreviated as BBW) is most commonly known as a politically correct term to call a larger woman, instead of saying she is a fat fuck. The acronym BBW also began to stand for a number of diverse, yet equally bizarre, sexual deviance's over the years.
BBW is originally an acronym for "Big Beautiful Women", which was a more polite and political acronym to chose rather than B.F.C (Big Fat Cunt) or the Latin word "Kartman De Erich" which means; "Don't call me fat ! Butt-fucker". Often BBW is recognized as a sexual fetish that developed during the 1960s when fat people felt that they too should be included in the free love and sexual revolution which was so popular at the time. Realizing that having friends describe them as massive piles of lard ass probably wouldn't get them laid, these women of girth came up with the acronym "B.B.W". This is something akin to how very mannish women will describe them self as 'Athletic' or ugly women have been known to say they have Great Personalities.
BBW is not to be confused with SSBBW which refers to "Super Sized Big Beautiful Women". A SSBBW is female adult models that pride themselves on being horrendously over-weight. Videos containing these types of larger BBWs often show them stuffing themselves silly, rubbing their unbelievably huge abdomens with lubricant, and running for public office. SSBBW is the largest and most widely known usage of the term that was invented by McDonald's in the 1970's when they decided that BBW's where not big enough, and for an extra 50 cents you could now up-size a BBW to a SSBBW. The populace made a general shift from sexually repressed to just plain nasty.
BMWs are over weight cars that cost an arm and a leg to maintain to keep them going. Hence the similarity in owning your very own BBW that costs the same amount to feed per day, or you might actually lose an arm or leg. When some men reach their mid life crisis, it is usually caused from the decision to be seen with a BMW or a BBW.
BBW’s and SEX ! Should you find yourself with one of these beautiful behemoths, always approach her from behind Doggy style or on top Missionary position. Never ever under any circumstances allow one of these juicy jiggling jumbo’s on top of you in the Cowgirl position. This can be Fatal to you…If she has heart failure, you may find yourself trapped ! Pinned under her for days, where you will possibly starve to death before help arrives.
Like every fetish that everyone tries to pretend doesn't exist, but most like in secrecy, just too afraid to tell their friends about it, BBWs originated from Thomas Buntings basement in Japan, he is the most well known lover of BBW in modern history. There his favourite. Japan. But because nobody in Japan is fat, it required an American visiting Japan who, dollar signs in her eyes and a burger in hand, decided there was money to be made. Thus the infamous publication Play-Whale was founded, and after catching fire in the far east, it slowly made its way to America. Where it stayed, because honestly who other than Americans would enjoy seeing a female sumo wrestler spilling barbecue sauce on herself? (Apart from the Scottish) Initially BBW was started as a joke because lets face it, everyone knows you can't be fat and beautiful, but some women took it literally, and thus was born the idea that if a fat chick can focus attention on her large bust size, that it may some how magically make everyone forget about flabby figure.
Theoretically, BBWs became popular because Americans are so damn fat that men across the country decided they might as well enjoy it. Women appreciate the fad because, if you want to be a porn star, you now have the option of either starving yourself and getting expensive plastic surgery or simply stuffing yourself until you start getting sailors running after you with harpoons.
edit Famous BBWs
- Rosie O'Donnell (more of a BW, to be honest, as the middle B doesn't really apply)
- Mrs. Puff
- Mary Jane Watson
- William Howard Taft
- Jamie Lynn Spears (future BBW)
- That Numa Numa guy
- Perez Hilton
edit Big Bitchy WomenAn even more selective taste than it's predecessor, models under the Big Bitchy Women category are, as the name would imply, total bitches. They're usually loud, libertarian, running for political office and rarely ever seen within two hundred feet of any kind of penis, unless said penis is helping to win them a presidential nomination and/or their own penis.
The Big Bitchy Women fad began during the hey-day of the feminist movement. Like the original BBW movement, men found it consoling to get off on a quality most might find undesirable, after all they had to find something attractive in their wives as they aged. In the porn industry, BBitchyWs were easy to come by, as even the most placid of females qualified for the role once a month.
Originally thought to be a spin-off of the dominatrix brand of fetishes, the BBitchyW fad is now understood to be a unique, sad little phenomenon that might be loosely connected to nihilism.
edit Famous BBitchyWs
edit Big Beautiful WinnebagoSyphilis and other STDs.
Winnebagos were well-known to be swinger crates, shagmobiles, and love rockets. Somehow somebody somewhere along the line got confused and started a porn site with just pictures of Winnebagos, and like any stupid retarded thing that crops up on the internet it quickly attained an enormous cult following.
Progressing to around 2005 a group called the gray haired nomads started touring around Australia in winnebagos, most of them at ages greater than 60. Apparently the old names for them are still an app description.
Some people are just plain kooky.
edit Famous BBWinnebagos
edit Big Boy's Willies
This was a joke made up that there is actually a fetish out there for people who like fat guys, and want to see them naked, particularly their penises. There is no scientific evidence to prove that there has ever been a single person in the world who could be aroused by such a thing.
It was invented as a joke by a computer hacker from Cambridge University who wrote an e-mail he sent from his ex-girlfriend's computer impersonating her. His e-mail made it look like she was writing it, and was telling a story about a night with a fat guy she had, and how much she enjoyed it. He sent it to all of her friends, with a trojan virus attached to it, so that it would spread all over the world. It spread to over 13 other users in boxes, causing a dorm-wide panic, and three people where critically injured by hearing the story. The problem has since been contained and isolated, and only urban legends remain of the horrific fictional tale.
Be careful what you joke about, they could be big and scary.
edit Famous Big Boy's Willies
|Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions|