Betty White/Facts

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Betty White kickass

White Power!

“That's my mama!”

Betty White Facts was an Internet phenomenon in 2010 in which fans of Betty White would spread interesting factoids about her. It originated within the Facebook page Abe Vigoda Facts, centered around Good Burger star Abe Vigoda. Soon the spin-off Betty White Facts became more popular and spread around the web, and Abe Vigoda himself finally died.

Once Betty White Facts had run its course as a meme, subsequent tired memes would often be described as "older than Betty White."

edit Notable Facts

As gathered from the Betty White archive at the Institute of Internet Jokes and Other Bullshit (IIJOB).

edit The Incredible Ms. Betty White

  • Betty White is a Platinum Girl.
  • The chief export of Betty White is sass.
  • Betty White's hair matches God's beard.
  • Betty White does not sleep. She needs to change her medication.
  • Betty White is a lady on t.v. and an absolute psychotic bitch between the sheets.
  • Betty White actually could play football at one time, but she severly injured her knee and was forced to permanently hang up her jersey.
  • Betty White gives her grandchildren Snickerdoodles when they come to visit.
  • This is not your grandmother's old lady.

edit Television

  • Every night before going to bed, Mr. T watches reruns of The Golden Girls on TV Land.
  • Betty White's character on The Golden Girls was purposely named "Rose" because Betty can sweeten up your day, but is thorny enough to make you bleed.
  • You thank Betty for being a friend, but never the other way around. You are humbled that she's even willing to share the same theme song with you.
  • CBS cancelled The Betty White Show in 1978 simply because the world wasn't ready for her. When humanity finally was ready, they had television scientists calculate how to balance her out. They arrived at the conclusion that she needed two other women one man in drag as a reasonable distraction.
  • The password is always "Betty White".
  • Betty White was the star of the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show. (Editor's note: Disregard this. That was Madonna. My mistake.)
  • Betty White is the oldest person to have ever hosted Saturday Night Live. Suck on that, John McCain!

edit We get it. She's old.

  • Betty White was William Shakespeare's babysitter.
  • Betty White isn't a mere cougar. She's a saber-toothed tiger.
  • Betty White is more than the last remaining Golden Girl on this Earth. She's actually sucking the life essences from the souls of the others in order to keep her career alive - forever.

edit See Also

Wikisplode
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an assortment of facts about the incredible Ms. Betty White.

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