Bettie Page

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia, featuring Bettie Page, the free-to-wear-as-little-as-you-want encyclopedia that anyone can undress and admire.

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Bettie Page 1

The history of mankind has many examples of women who kicked ass in the distant past. Unfortunately, all of these ancient instances of female domination involve women who were extremely unattractive and wore clothing that was drab and unappealing. In modern times, revisionist historians have tried to cast doubt on that premise by trying to make Joan of Arc look sexier, but nobody burns a good looking 19 year old girl at the stake unless she’s butt ugly and wears armor. Cleopatra is often cited as being a beautiful woman who shook her ass into a position of great power, but the sad truth is that behind the pancake makeup there was only a drag queen who exploited the rampant homosexuality of the Roman Empire to expand and solidify "her" power. All other historical examples of females kicking ass can be easily attributed to women with internal testes. While we can’t really go back into the distant past to find out just how hot these powerful women really weren’t, an examination of the present and the overt manliness of South African “female” runner Caster Semenya pretty much sums up what the ass-kicking women of world history probably looked like. While there may be unknown bitches from the past who were actually hot and did kick ass in a leather outfit, we will never really know for sure and it must be assumed that they never existed.


Did you know...

  • ...that Bettie Page has captured the imagination of a generation of men and women with her free spirit and unabashed sensuality?
  • ...that Bettie Page is the embodiment of beauty?
  • ...that Bettie Page has an indescribable quality that separates her from all the other models?
  • ...that Bettie Page gives you a sense of pure joy?
  • ...that Bettie Page has been diagnosed with schizophrenia?
  • ...that you can watch Bettie Page get dressed on YouTube?

In the news

Zombie Bettie Page
  • Pornographic images of Bettie Page are extremely popular
  • Betty deemed not offensive, but its use is still discouraged

On this day...

May 4: Bettie Page Day, Everyday is Bettie Page Day!
  • Anytime - Bettie Page did something wonderful.
  • Anytime - Bettie Page was the center of attention.
  • Anytime - Bettie Page was being her regular, adorable self.
  • Anytime - Bettie Page was doing seductive things.

Quote of the Moment
I love to swim in the nude and roam around the house in the nude. You're just as free as a bird!
Colonization of the Week
In honour of Bettie Page
Help us cleanse the holy land
and plant the seeds of divine beauty.

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Bettie Page picture gallery

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Model and Babe of the Month


World renowned for her sex appeal, Playmate of the Month degree in nudity, and a beautiful body which sprouts two impressive mammaries, Bettie Page is quite the force to be reckoned with in the field of beautific treatment and modeling. Her expose on her travels though the tropics is among the most highly regarded pornography of its kind, and her experience with dabbling in the USA's vast modeling industry has left her with valuable life experience, including getting to know such contacts as Hugh Hefner. Nowadays, she resides in her mansion in Los Angeles, plotting her vengeance against a cruel world that shall one day bow to the almighty beauty queen. God have mercy on us.


With the addition of the lovely Sockie to our imagespamming ranks, Uncyclopedia continues its tradition of excellence in the field of images of females exposing their sex organs. Her valiant efforts have gone to aid us in the studies of boobies and lesbians, as well as those creepy animal rights activists and environmentalists. Uncyclopedia's images are expected to take quite the turn for the better in the near future, up until about the time that the Female Pornography Organization begins to carry out its malicious conspiracy to overthrow the Uncyclopedia government, and seduce the article-writing proletariat.

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