Bettie Page

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__NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__[[Category:Hot Babes You Don't Have A Chance With]][[Category:Seriously, You Don't Have A Chance With Her]][[Category:Boobage]][[Category:Sexy People]][[Category:Goddesses]]
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<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Yesterday's featured article</h2>
 
<div style="clear: left; padding: 0.8em 0"><h2 style="background-color:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> Yesterday's featured article</h2>
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Bettie Page 1.jpg|100px}}
 
{{FeatArticleImg|Bettie Page 1.jpg|100px}}
<p>The [[history]] of mankind has many examples of women who kicked ass in the distant past. Unfortunately, all of these [[ancient]] instances of [[Wiki Dominatrix|female domination]] involve women who were extremely [[ugly|unattractive]] and wore clothing that was drab and unappealing. In modern times, revisionist historians have tried to cast doubt on that premise by trying to make [[Joan of Arc]] look sexier, but nobody burns a good looking 19 year old girl at the stake unless she’s butt ugly ''and'' wears armor. [[Cleopatra]] is often cited as being a beautiful woman who shook her ass into a position of great power, but the sad truth is that behind the pancake makeup there was only a [[drag queen]] who exploited the rampant [[homosexuality]] of the [[Roman Empire]] to expand and solidify "her" power. All other historical examples of females kicking ass can be easily attributed to women with internal [[testicles|testes]]. While we can’t really go back into the distant past to find out just how hot these powerful women really ''weren’t'', an examination of the present and the overt manliness of [[South Africa|South African]] “female” runner Caster Semenya pretty much sums up what the ass-kicking women of world history probably looked like. While there may be unknown [[Sexy Bitch|bitches]] from the past who ''were'' actually hot and ''did'' kick ass in a leather outfit, we will never really know for sure and it must be assumed that they [[You don't exist|never existed]]. </p> '''([[A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass|more]]...)'''</div>
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<p>In the squeaky clean and highly moralistic depictions of 1950’s America by television shows like ''"Father Knows Best"'' and ''"[[Leave it to Beaver]]"'', women were depicted as if they were still living in the 1930’s but had learned to get back into the kitchen without being told. The war was over and women kicking ass wasn’t deemed to be a necessity anymore. Naughtiness was pretty much relegated to localized “camera clubs”, who secretly exchanged [[Pornography|artistic photos]] out of the scrutiny of [[Police|mainstream censorship]]. After these [[Pedophiles|connoisseurs]] got a sniff of [[Bettie Page]], in leather and lace, getting spanked and posing in other fetishist idioms, it wasn’t long before girly publications like ''"Wink"'', ''"Titter"'' and ''"Eyeful"'' hit the newsstands. Women were now encouraged to be leather-wearing [[Hot|hotties]] but the only thing that came close to ass kicking was Bettie getting spanked by another woman with a hair brush.</p> '''([[A Brief History Of Hot Bitches In Leather Kicking Ass|more]]...)'''</div>
 
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! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did you know...</h2>
 
! <h2 style="margin:0;background:#cef2e0;font-family:sans-serif;font-size:120%;font-weight:bold;border:1px solid #a3bfb1;text-align:left;color:#000;padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Did you know...</h2>
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*...that Bettie Page has been diagnosed with [[schizophrenia]]?
 
*...that Bettie Page has been diagnosed with [[schizophrenia]]?
 
*...that you can watch Bettie Page get dressed on YouTube?
 
*...that you can watch Bettie Page get dressed on YouTube?
<center><youtube width=300px height=240px>Onr1LanvMGE</youtube></center>
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<center>[[File:Bettie Page dressed to kill|300]]</center>
 
<br clear=all><div align="right" class="noprint"> '''[[Did You Know|Archive]]''' &ndash; '''[[Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions|Suggest new entries]]'''</div>
 
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Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an immortal legion of [[Bettie Page#Cloning program|Bettie Page]] [[clone]]s.
 
Protected by [[Help:Fair Use|the Fair Use Clause]], and an immortal legion of [[Bettie Page#Cloning program|Bettie Page]] [[clone]]s.
{{VFH}}
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{{FA|date=10 August 2010|revision=4671118}}
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
 
[[Category: Uncyclopedia]]
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[[Category:Bettie Page]]

Latest revision as of 21:41, June 17, 2013

NotoriousBettie The spirit of Bettie Page is epitomized by the invigorating sight of fans imitating Bettie Page.
Join in and post your personal pictures at the Bettie Page look-a-like contest.
NotoriousBettie
Welcome to Uncyclopedia, featuring Bettie Page
the free-to-wear-as-little-as-you-want encyclopedia that anyone can undress and admire.
30,662 articles dedicated to Bettie Page

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BettieWiki
HotBettieMirror
Welcome to Uncyclopedia, featuring Bettie Page, the free-to-wear-as-little-as-you-want encyclopedia that anyone can undress and admire.

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help

Today's featured article:
Welcome to Uncyclopedia, featuring Bettie Page, the free-to-wear-as-little-as-you-want encyclopedia that anyone can undress and admire. (more...)


Recently featured: Gravity (film)

Yesterday's featured article

Bettie Page 1

In the squeaky clean and highly moralistic depictions of 1950’s America by television shows like "Father Knows Best" and "Leave it to Beaver", women were depicted as if they were still living in the 1930’s but had learned to get back into the kitchen without being told. The war was over and women kicking ass wasn’t deemed to be a necessity anymore. Naughtiness was pretty much relegated to localized “camera clubs”, who secretly exchanged artistic photos out of the scrutiny of mainstream censorship. After these connoisseurs got a sniff of Bettie Page, in leather and lace, getting spanked and posing in other fetishist idioms, it wasn’t long before girly publications like "Wink", "Titter" and "Eyeful" hit the newsstands. Women were now encouraged to be leather-wearing hotties but the only thing that came close to ass kicking was Bettie getting spanked by another woman with a hair brush.

(more...)

Did you know...

  • ...that Bettie Page has captured the imagination of a generation of men and women with her free spirit and unabashed sensuality?
  • ...that Bettie Page is the embodiment of beauty?
  • ...that Bettie Page has an indescribable quality that separates her from all the other models?
  • ...that Bettie Page gives you a sense of pure joy?
  • ...that Bettie Page has been diagnosed with schizophrenia?
  • ...that you can watch Bettie Page get dressed on YouTube?
Bettie Page dressed to kill02:37

Bettie Page dressed to kill

300


In the news

Zombie Bettie Page
  • Pornographic images of Bettie Page are extremely popular
  • Betty deemed not offensive, but its use is still discouraged

On this day...

BalloonBettie
August 22: Bettie Page Day, Everyday is Bettie Page Day!
  • Anytime - Bettie Page did something wonderful.
  • Anytime - Bettie Page was the center of attention.
  • Anytime - Bettie Page was being her regular, adorable self.
  • Anytime - Bettie Page was doing seductive things.


Quote of the Moment
Cquote1
I like being outdoors. I like to go cavorting in the nude in the forests. It is just another world. To take sunbaths in the nude.
Cquote2
Colonization of the Week
In honour of Bettie Page
Help us cleanse the holy land
and plant the seeds of divine beauty.

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World renowned for her sex appeal, Playmate of the Month degree in nudity, and a beautiful body which sprouts two impressive mammaries, Bettie Page is quite the force to be reckoned with in the field of beautific treatment and modeling. Her expose on her travels though the tropics is among the most highly regarded pornography of its kind, and her experience with dabbling in the USA's vast modeling industry has left her with valuable life experience, including getting to know such contacts as Hugh Hefner. Nowadays, she resides in her mansion in Los Angeles, plotting her vengeance against a cruel world that shall one day bow to the almighty beauty queen. God have mercy on us.


Babeaward

With the addition of the lovely Sockie to our imagespamming ranks, Uncyclopedia continues its tradition of excellence in the field of images of females exposing their sex organs. Her valiant efforts have gone to aid us in the studies of boobies and lesbians, as well as those creepy animal rights activists and environmentalists. Uncyclopedia's images are expected to take quite the turn for the better in the near future, up until about the time that the Female Pornography Organization begins to carry out its malicious conspiracy to overthrow the Uncyclopedia government, and seduce the article-writing proletariat.


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