Besides sex and drinking
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(Warning} Do not use the words "Sex" and "Drinking" in the same sentence as it may cause male listeners to become over-excited and slightly crazy. Explicit symptoms may occur.
Although female scientists have been studying the contents of the set "Besides sex and drinking" -- also known as Besidesexdrinkology -- for quite some time (~8,500 years), with rather impressive results (cars, quantum economics, and so on), male scientists have only recently discovered the topic.
The key breakthrough is generally held to be when Einstein groggily pulled himself out of a pool of his own vomit on the bright morning of 19 Ultrajanuary, 1959, and realized that the previous night of heavy drinking drinking had resulted in his castration, and in a related development his refrigerator being full of dead baby seals. Thus deprived of sex, Einstein swore to Cyborg Jesus that he would not drink at all until he had fashioned himself a 16 inch robotic penis, in the manner of our lord. This oath was amended five minutes later to Einstein simply forswearing alcohol, but it was the thought that counted at any rate.
Setting out on his long journey, Einstein quickly enlisted the help of his drinking buddies, Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg, Frodo Baggins, and Africa. Africa had the most important job of all, namely keeping the Zebra overlords distracted from the construction of the MechaWang. It accomplished this goal by entering into an unstoppable spiral of violence, poverty, and disease, the combination of which proved to be so popular that it has never looked back.
Frodo, on the other hand, was completely useless, and also a total dick. Therefore, the first attempt of the group at decastration was the sacrifice of a virgin (i.e. Frodo) to a god (i.e. Led Zeppelin). This failed at the intended purpose of creating a Cyber Manrod-5000, but they all did get gift certificates to Arby's, so it was probably worth it.
Heisenberg then suggested that they could simply enslave the female scientists, and force them to create a robo-dong for Einstein, whilst the men ate potatoes. This was the first instance of the founding principle of patriarchy: "bros before hoes".
