Ben Kenobi

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Ben Kenobi is the alter-ego of famed Jedi warrior Obi-Wan Kenobi.


edit Childhood

Obi-Wan Kenobi, (08/02/34-08/01/06) was born to young power coupling Amy and Dale Kenobi, who were both equally strong in The Force. Which is why Obi-Wan has so many siblings, the most important of which include Harrison Ford Kenobi, who became an Ice-Cream salesman for Dominics Ice Cream, Owen Lars Kenobi, who became a moisture farmer on the planet Tatoomi, and Anakin Skywalker, who was not his real brother, but Kenobi was mentally ill when he claimed that they grew up together.

As Kenobi wore into his early tot hood, he had a distinct fighting style, in which he would wave his fist around without ever touching anything. His parents called this "fist fighting". And his other hand would often sway up in front of him, as if he were pushing something. They one day gave him a Lightsaber and The Force so he would be affective against foe.

When He was 7 years old, he began testing his full potential. He would see how fast he could run,(60 mpm) how high he could jump,(5 fps) and if he could get any girls to like him, (See, Personal Life)


edit Teen Years

When Kenobi was 12, he was chosen as a padawan by delusional Jedi Master Qui-Gon Gin. He would train Obi-Wan to the end of his apprenticeship. Their First mission together was simple: Rescue their good pal Patine, but things went awful when Kenobi found his master in a bar, drunk. Yoda Then sent Darth Maul to assassinate Gin, who, when confronted, thought he was the chosen one. Maul told Qui-Gon he had seen a chosen one on Tatoomi, and then stabbed him through the gut, causing intestinal disorder Obi-Wan sensed The Dark Lord's presence, and dishooded him before cutting off his horns, (which is taboo in the sith teachings,) Kenobi then fled to Tatoomi, where he met young Hayden Christensen, a junk dealer with two slaves named Watto, and Watto's Mamma. Obi-Wan asked if he could have the slaves, but Christensen wouldn't hear of it, so Obi-Wan left the planet until he was much older.



edit Adulthood

When Obi-Wan was 19, he returned Tatoomi, where he found that Hayden Had passed away two years prior, and that an old and ugly Sebastion Shaw had taken his place as owner of the shop. Christensen may have looked better, but Shaw was much more generous, giving The now bearded Jedi master his 3 slaves; Watto Jr., Smee, and Watto. Kenobi took them all to the temple, but Smee stayed with the ship, becoming a very famous, (if not short and fat,) first mate. Watto and his son had no Force potential so the council sentenced them to death by discrimination and ate their heads on silver platters.

When Obi-Wan was 34 the start of the Cologne Wars was at hand, and his Blue Mist Lightsaber was in prime condition. He took his troops into the mist shrouded planet of D.C. and fought extremely gorey battles there. When he was 35 he realized that he had not yet an apprentice so he once again returned to Tatoomi to find any Force-sensetives he could train, (The reason being that the Hoggish Mace'n Chain Windu had the kids at the temple under his dominion.) When Kenobi got to the sandy planet, he found that Christensen had somehow replaced Shaw. Obi-Wan Suspected George Lucas , and took the unaged Hayden to be his Padawan. They hunted down the infamous bounty hunter Boba Fett and assassinated the separatists together before a fatal practice fight when Obi-Wan Sliced up his Apprentice, and then watched as he burned to ashes. After this tradgedy, Obi-Wan took Christensens son, Luke Christensen as his learner, and went into solitude on Tatoomi, (For some stupid reason it appealed to him,) and Put Luke In the Care of his well-loved brother Owen.


edit Personal Life

When Obi-Wan Kenobi was young, a prophecy was spoken over him that he would one day marry Donna Reed and do what he wanted to do, but when he got older, he renounced this blasphemy and went on to marry Shaak Ti. Two years prior Ti divorced him and married Kit Fisto, who was much more attractive without his shirt. Kenobi, then heartless, swore he would never love again. and took his revenge on yoda


edit Fun Facts

  • Ben Has one child and fourteen relatives.
  • Ben is a giant Shirley Temple fan.
  • Ben has written 6 books, including "How to eat a Pear.",

"Action Figures of the '30s and '40s" And the Oscar Award winning "Transparent Blue For Dummies".

  • Ben is also the sole founder of Ben & Jerry's. (See, Jerry Lewis)
  • While He was alive, Ben Owned a Bantha named Jerry, a Womprat named Shirley, and a NES.
  • Ben loves Chess.
  • Ben's Hobbies include: Chess, Wisdom, and Nostalgia.

edit Late Life and Death

After moving his things to Tatoomi and changing his name to Ben, Kenobi Started Kenner toys, in which he specialized in action figures. Kenner became extremely popular from a certain point of view, and went on to become Hasben, an even more successful Company. Ben Died in a tragic accident while he was on his last mission to Young Luke's house. They were going to go get in trouble with the sandpeople, rescue each other, and go to Ben's hut for some action-packed nostalgia. But on his way, Ben encountered some Neimoidian Communists with a beef to pick with his Jedi ways. He got into a brief tussle with them but before he could defeat them all, Darth Simpson came up behind him and struck him down. He never had a proper funeral, but Luke did burn his body to ashes.

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