Bart Simpson

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Bart Simpson.

Bartholomew 'Bart' JoJo Constintine Charles Brian Aberforth Michael Hunt Joseph Frank (the Mole) David Andrew Mangina Fonkonskini Idilho "I'm a Hobo" Indian Georgiizzz Frugenjum Alberto Naked Fat Simpson is one of the most outstanding citizens residing in Springfield. He is the only person Satan worships. Last heard, Satan has collected 666 straws used by Bart to drink soda. Bart comes from a particular wise family who give out advise to lost youth and found geriatrics on their TV show called, The Simpsons. The word brat in the English language comes from an anagram of Bart. It is often argued if he actually ages, or if he'll remain 10 years old forever.

[edit] Character Origins

There are a lot of stories on how the Holy Bart came into being. One of them of course is the most refuted rumour that he is a product of the sexual union between Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson. The other story says that Bart came from the sea when the Seattle grunge metal band Nirvana was shooting still images for their album Nevermind. His naked sermon to Kurt Cobain changed Kurt's life completely. As you can see in the image that Bart arrived from the heavens as old as he always is. It is rumored that morphologically Bart will always remain immortal. There are more than a hundred thousand stories of Bart's origin, which you can choose to believe depending on what faith and religion you follow. A comprehensive encyclopedia is available on Whamazon.com for $666.

[edit] Love Life

Bart has married and divorced several people. His first known love was Fergie whom aborted all seventeen children that would have been him. He had marriages and divorces to all the Spice Girls. He married Lance Bass in Vegas and divorced when he realized that Lance was a gay man, not Hilary Duff. Duff (Don’t confuse Duff with Duff beer although both are believed to contain female hormones) and Simpson had sex and Haley Duff videotaped it and posted it on YouTube; both Duffs and Simpson are not speaking ever since Hillary went and laid rockstar Joel Madden whom is now married to his brother Benji, whom is now married to Mariah Carey at the same time. His most popular marriage was to Amanda from QLD as they had a child whom his brother in law David from QLD killed, thinking it was a rabid sock puppet. After the death of their son, Simpson and Amanda divorced. Bart was once raped by Lance Bass soon after their divorce; this made Bart so angry, he killed Bass with a grappling hook and made love with God's prostitute and Simpson's mother, Marge, simultaneously in an Airplane seat (the onlookers behind them, one recorded as Black Jesus, never where the same). Bart disappeared for most of 2003 for he had surgery to become a women, renamed himself "Barterella" and did it dirty with female lesbians. A photo of Barterella making love with Ellen DeGenerous still haunts Canadia and kittens to tears. In the late '90s, Bart forced Miley Cyrus (famous daughter of Captain Jack Sparrow and Jessica Rabbit) to marry him. Their kids are Rosie O Donnell, Blackadder, Terminator, Sir Alan Sugar, Alvin and the chipmunks, Juno and Lois Griffin.

[edit] Battles Bart fought and lived to tell about

It is well known The Simpsons invited many beings and powerful entities to come to Springfield. What is not too well known is that Bart has a open challenge to anyone who wants to challenge their power against the Holy one. The list consist of every person Bart has fought and defeated. Some of their losses was so severe that there was reprocutions after the battle.