Barrow, Alaska

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Barrow, Alaska: Top of the World
not counting space
Country: United States
State: Alaska
Borough: North Slope
Official Languages: English,

Eskimo, Vampire

Population: 4,065 (2006)

0 (2008)

Status: Destroyed
Nickname: The town that makes Baghdad look peaceful
Currency: Guns
Principal imports: Alcohol
Principal exports: Corpses
Climate: Really fucking cold
AKA: Barrow, AK

Barrow, Alaska (co-ordinates 71°18′1″N 156°44′9″W) was the northernmost town in North America. The population of Barrow was 4,065 in 2006. Most of the town's resident's subsisted on seals, whales, and walruses for food. Barrow was destroyed in a massive fire in January of 2008. An busted oil pipeline was believed to have started the blaze.

edit Evidence of foul play

It appears that many of Barrow's residents were brutally massacred prior to the fire. These events all occurred during Barrow's polar night which lasts over two months. Although many of the bodies were completely charred which prevented the identification of the case of death, a few of the bodies were found in a relatively preserved state. Some of the victims that were discovered died in the most gruesome ways. Many of the victims were discovered with large gaping wounds. Many had their throats ripped out. Some victims were decapitated. The small group of Alaskan state troopers who discovered the massacre described it as something out of a horror movie. Many of those troopers have suffered severe mental trauma as a result of the discovery.

edit Bizarre discoveries

In addition to the gruesome discoveries at Barrow, there were also some findings that were extremely bizarre. Electronic objects were found melted into piles of liquid plastic across the city, even in places that were not near the fire. Sled dogs that were kept in the city were brutally massacred in much the same way as the town's residents were. The strangest discovery of all was the body of an Alaskan state trooper a few miles outside of town. The body was perfectly preserved other than the head which was charred black. A small puncture wound which looked like an injection site was found on the left arm of the victim.

edit Unusual Occurrences in and around Barrow prior to its destruction

Many of residents of the city fly south for the 60 days or so of polar night the city experiences every December and January. Many residents of the city who left before the disaster reported strange happenings in the city. Cell phones were reportedly stolen from a number of citizens and many citizens discovered their vehicles had been vandalized. Vandalism to vehicles included slashed tires and busted gas lines. One resident remarked that it almost felt like whoever was doing this was trying to prevent people from leaving Barrow. A strange man who no one in this town of 4,000 knew was found wandering the streets and was picked up by the Alaskan State Troopers. The man would not reveal where his came from and according to witnesses, was behaving very strangely. Police now speculate that this man may have been involved or had knowledge of the massacre which was about to take place.

Witnesses in the town of Wainwright also reported seeing a large ship heading in the direction of Barrow a few days prior to the incident. The FBI is investigating the possibility of a connection to the Barrow incident.

edit Survivors

A small band of survivors were discovered near the Barrow Airport in the days following the end of Barrow's polar night. Upon discovery, the survivors were found to be in extreme mental distress and have since been transferred to a mental health institute in Anchorage. They are currently being interviewed by the FBI about their experience but their experiences in Barrow have not been made public. Five Snowy Owls carrying important messages about the incident were spotted, but were shot down and have never been seen since.

edit See Also

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Barrow, Alaska.
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