Baron von Brunk
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Article regarding growing internet icon and local Lancaster man, Baron von Brunk. This article is to clear up any misinformations and myths regarding his website and internet legacy.
Contents |
[edit] Section A - History
Julius von Brunk is currently the only living folk hero ever to come out of Lancaster, PA. He is also an Amish man who is credited with the invention of the phonebook. Other inventions made by him include:
The printing press
The colaspable printing press
The portable Bathroom
The Transformers
The Ninja Turtles
Tina Wood
Laura Foy
Hulk Hogan
Amish people
The over-the-shoulder boulder-holder
Tony Danza
The talking statue of Marcel Marceau
The Beetlejuice vanishing vault
Creepy Crawlers
Edible bug spray
Micro-Machines
Mac and Cheese
Hot sauce
Denver the Last Dinosuar. Hes my freind, and a whole lot more.
The artist formerly known as Prince
The English Dictionary
Lambert the Sheepish Lion
The Olive of Mankind
The Jackson Five
Brunk also claims to have inspired Hardee's curly fries, Moe Fine's haircut, the crossword puzzle, the inflatable dartboard and the disposable television.
[edit] Section B - Time Travel
Brunk became the first Amishman to travel back in time when he successfully tested the flux capacitor with his partner De Nomolos (time villain from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey). The two went back in time to the year 1913 to prevent Jimmy Hoffa from being born.
Eventually, Brunk sliced off De Nomolos' fingers and fed them to King Tut. The knife used to cut the fingers was sold on eBay for $3,400. Using the money he earned from the sacred knife, Brunk bought a monster truck. He then teamed up with Swamp Thing to replace Evil Knievel.
[edit] Section C - For Cool Guys
Steve W. is currently freakin sweet.
Matt F. is currently playing Harvest Moon, that game's sweet.
Steve C. is Currently "Pimping Hoes".
