Barney's Hide & Seek Game

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North American cover art.

Barney's Hide & Seek Game is a critically-acclaimed video game released on the Sega Genesis in 1993. The game centers around everyone's favorite purple dinosaur, Barney, in his quest to liberate several towns from terrorism. The game is aimed at children, though it is enjoyed by all audiences.

edit Plot

The beginning of the game illustrated Barney playing in a park with numerous friends of his. Suddenly, a gang of terrorists claiming to be part of Al-Qaeda bursts onto the scene and kidnaps all five of Barney's friends, as well as five important items that could cause significant damage if lost or in the wrong hands. The terrorists threaten to behead all of the children if the United States of America does not meet both of their two demands: pull out of Saudi Arabia and become an Islamic state.

Barney, incapacitated in the attack, wakes up in hospital where Bill Clinton informs him of the crisis. His five friends have been taken hostage, and are holding the following items to ransom:

  • A VHS tape of Barney's show. The destruction of this tape could disrupt the flow of good in the world and sadden brave and loyal soldiers everywhere.
  • The American constitution, which the terrorists plan on incinerating in order to destroy America's politics.
  • The Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom, which are used to fund their terrorist plans.
  • The Ozone Layer, the one barrier keeping us safe from the evils of the Sun. The terrorists threaten to destroy this and kill us all.
  • God, the one man who stands in the way of Allah's cruel domination.

Clinton adds that some evidence of the hostages' location was found at the scene. Barney decides to act on this whim and heads for the Middle East, where he learns of four towns where the children and items may be kept. Not hesitating to think further, Barney arms himself to the teeth and storms each town, rescuing hostages, recovering stolen items, and extinguishing the threat of terrorist Islam. However, Barney has yet to find his five friends, or the five items he is looking for even after liberating the towns. Barney is ready to give up when he is challenged by Allah himself. Allah has the hostages under his watch, and can destroy them all at the click of his finger. But Barney is not swayed. Barney and Allah engage in a bloody and violent battle, but Allah is finally terminated when Barney delivers a fatal punch to the gonads.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Barney's Hide & Seek Game.

Barney returns home to America, with his five friends, where he is awarded a Medal of Honor for saving the world from the terrorist threat. With Allah defeated and Islam gone, Barney returns to his efforts in the war against terror.

edit Gameplay


Screenshot of Barney building a Church in the town of Muzakallah Mal'saam Sharia Mohammad saam Hussein sa'aal.

Barney's Hide & Seek is notable for some innovative gameplay, being the first to introduce numerous styles of play that are today popular. The main aspects of the game are:

  • Hostage Rescue – In each town, Barney will encounter five hostages, and must rescue them. As the player progresses through the game, the hostages will be guarded more heavily, requiring the player to employ various tactics in order to overcome them. Barney's Hide & Seek is often credited as being the first game to realistically portray Hostage Rescue.
  • Bounty Hunting – Throughout the game the player will encounter terrorists wanted by America. A hefty reward is paid for each one, though the terrorists are notorious for being crafty, dangerous and evasive.
  • Liberation – The player is given the task of eliminating the evil word of Islam. This is usually done by promoting an alternative faith, like Christianity, or spreading the word of the Book of Rigism. Successfully removing a town of all Islamic presence rewards the player with bonus points.
  • MaturityBarney's Hide & Seek is often praised for being serious and efficiently handling a mature subject matter. This is amplified by the fact that the game is aimed at children. It was the first game to be aimed at children without being kiddy, a technique that Nintendo has failed to master.
  • The Boss Fight – Though not the first game to include boss fights, Barney's Hide & Seek is one of the first to employ this feature on such an epic scale. The game's boss is Allah, and the fight is often fast-paced and packed with action.

edit See also

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