Barcelona (album)

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Barcelona is an album by rock-vocalist annex Greek deity Freddie Mercury.

Barcelona is the first ever collaboration between a rock musician and an opera-singer (read: fat bird), the famous diva Monty Cable (of course, the meeting between The Rolling Stones and singer Alfonso Bloatedini in Holland does not count, as it featured the opera-singer being stabbed by Hell's Angels functioning as security. Although he did let out high-pitched squeaks before dropping to the ground dead, this does not formally count as a collaboration. The Stones DO however plan on releasing an audio recording of the event as their latest single, mainly because anything with their name on it will top the charts anyway, and Keith Richards needs the money to pay the ransom for his grandmother, who is cryogenically frozen and kidnapped by alien dope-dealers he ripped off several years ago).

As the story goes, Freddie and Monty met in a London gay-club in 1987, and didn't recognize eachother until they were slightly more sober and very much in Mercury's bed the next morning.

Monty asked Freddie to write a song about her home-town Sheffield, which became the album's title track. The album is ominous for leading to the demise of Freddie Mercury, who was brutally clubbed to death by an opera-lover holding a flaming hot, 20" cast-iron dildo from the personal collection of porn-star Margaret Thatcher (who was given this specific dildo as a formal gift by Russian envoy Sergey Hasnokluskov, to match her reputation as (cast-)iron lady). Due to the mysterious circumstances in which the dildo fell into the hands of the opera-fan, conspiracy theories are widely available stating that Thatcher had ordered Mercury's death, mistaking him for a slightly left-winged immigrant, which would of course be a capital offence under Maggie.

Thus, the well-known fable that Freddie died of AIDS is utter shite, as he didn't do needle-drugs, which are of course the only way of contracting AIDS known to mankind. Apart from fucking chimps, which is just gross.

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