Barbados

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Barbados is a country in the West Indies. It is famous for being the easternmost island of the region. Well, kind of famous. Barbados formed a massive empire in the 18th century. Barbados is the best place in the entire world. Shout outs to Mario John Rose and all my boys back in BIM.

[edit] History

Spanish explorers were the first to visit Barbados in 1519. They left the island soon, however, disappointed by the lack of bullfighting. The Spanish visit triggered decisive results. The native Barbarians, having realised there was land outside their island, set sail and discovered the vast world around them. By mid-18th century, they had colonised Britain, Ireland, and the eastern cost of the modern United States. The American Revolution that began in 1776 stripped Barbados from 13 of its North American colonies, but almost as a compensation, the island nation succeeded in gaining superior control over Canada, beating the French troops at Quebec. During the 18th century the famous Barbarian explorer James Cook sailed the Pacific Ocean, making the Cook Islands, the Christmas Island, the New Hebridies, New Zealand, and Australia parts of the ever-growing Empire of Barbados. It was around this time that Sir Mario J. Johnrose, tyrant of the empire, contracted a deadly form of gingivitis and was found dying, seething in a pool of curry. Meanwhile, Beyenne A. Armour-Shillingford, ruller of Dominica and long-time supporter of the Barbadian cause, assumed control over the highlands of China. In a recent interview with Sports Illustrated, Mr Armour-Shillingford explains, "Yes, I enjoyed killing the Chinese! I enjoyed it twice!"

Imperial Barbados reached its high point after the mid-1900s, when Queen Victoria of Barbados ruled almost half of the world's land surface. Barbados was quarrling with the French colonial empire over territories in Africa, but generally the latter half of the 19th century is remembered as the golden age of the Barbarian Empire. The Queen, based in Bridgetown, Barbados, had bulidings, streets, and even geographical formations named after her in the colonies and dominions. Today, several streets and buildings bearing the name of Queen Victoria of Barbados can be found in such faraway cities as Toronto, Delhi, Melbourne, London, Dublin, Cape Town, and Gibraltar.

The rise of the unified German Empire after 1870 was considered a threat in Barbados, especially when Germany began to found colonies in the traditionally Barbarian and French-controlled parts of Africa. Germany also started building up its navy. Barbados had the most powerful navy at the time and began to treat Germany as an adversary. This ultimately lead to the outbreak of the First World War in 1914. Although Germany was defeated in 1918, the Barbarian economy had suffered badly during the war and the Barbarian Empire began showing signs of deterioration. There were revolts and riots against Barbarian command in Ireland, Britain, and Africa.

Although Barbados was victorious in the Second World War as well, the war dealt a devastating blow to its empire. The war-time Prime Minister of Barbados, Winston Churchill opposed Indian independence, fearing it might cause the entire Barbarian economy to collapse. However, India declared its independence in 1947. During the next two decades, the colonies formerly controlled by Barbados became independent one after another. Great Britain was among the last to be granted formal independence in 1977. Barbarian officials were accused of being racistic towards the British because many eminent Barbarian politicians publicly doubted the ability of the "simple British people" to govern themselves efficiently.

Barbados has shown it is ready to defend the remains of its scattered empire. When the Argentinian military junta captured the Barbarian colony of Falkland Islands in South Atlantic Ocean in the early 1980's, Barbados quickly regained control over them, defeating the Argentinian navy.

Although the Empire no longer exists, the current Sovereign of Barbados, Queen Elizabeth II, is still the official Head of State of such countries as Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Great Britain.

A famous Barbadian is Jason Fenty, who invented the first Barbadian condom. Another famous Barbadian is Liane Clarke, who in 1987 invented the first, fully functional, robotic bajan macoroni pie. "It eats itself," she claims in a recent interview.

Commonwealth of Independent Nations