Ballmer Raids

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

The Ballmer Raids were a series of controversial raids on American, resident, and aliens in the United States and abroad, based on their assumed affiliation with Google.

The Raids are named after Steve Ballmer, who believed that Google was "eating its way into the homes of the American workman," and that Google users were in fact the cause of all problems in America.

edit Early Stages

The crackdown on Google sympathisers had actually begun during World War I, but increased exponentially after the Google Revolution of 1917, in which Google surpassed Microsoft as a search engine. Microsoft had refused to allow anyone who used Google be hired as an employee. With strong support from the populace, Steve Ballmer began to further limit Google wherever they could.

On June 19, 1919, a series of Google bombs went off, propelling MSN.com to the top of the list for Google's search on Miserable Failure. Following this, Steve Ballmer conducted a number of well publicised raids on Google sympathisers, including Mr. T, Saddam Hussein, and Jesus. All of which were detained without having an MSN Passport, which is largely seen today as a major infringement to the End User License Agreement.

edit Later Stage

After Steve Ballmer had obtained extensive databases of all Google Users through use of illegal cookies deployed to all computers via SP2, millions were detained and their computers were replaced with Macintosh computers. Many became loyal Mac users, until they realised that Macintosh computers suck.

The Ballmer Raids largely ended after he incorrectly predicted Google revolutionaries would attempt to take over on May Day. The non appearance destroyed confidence in Ballmer, and the fact that despite the major raids Google still held a sizable lead over MSN probably didn't help either.

Personal tools
projects