Rush Hour in Ballineen.
Motto: "Where are we?."
Civic anthem: Up The RA
State Bad enough State
Country Ireland
Official language(s) Irish frontversal, Chinese language, Chav, Polish and Sheep
Mayor Dessie
Currency Ballineen Yen

A Roundabout, one of many.

The twin villages of Ballineen (Irish: Béal Átha Fhínín, meaning "one horse town") and Enniskean (Irish: Inis Céin, meaning "oh God not that fecking place again") in West Cork in Ireland are 43 km (26.72 mi) southwest of Cork City, on the R586 road. Ballineen and Enniskean lie on the River Bandon between Bandon and Dunmanway and the fertile Bandon valley. The city is noted for its crazy amount of roundabouts.

Ballineen belonged first to the Earls of Cork and later to the Earls of Bandon. Lord Bandon improved the village in the mid-19th century by introducing a sheep shagging field that consisted of building a market house, a courthouse, a small Chapel, a big Church and two priests in the area. Ballineen held monthly fairs on the streets until the mid-1960s when Jesus came and said open a shop, and they said YES!! Enniskeane takes its name from George Bush a local chieftain and has a connection with Bono, the High King of Ireland.

That fecking placeEdit

Cheese rolling was invented here on the same day (19 July) that Galway was liberated from the Indians and Marathon became Snickers and also the day The Ice Age ended. the village is home to a Provisional IRA barracks. Part of Monty Python's Life of Brian was filmed on the outskirts of Ballineen. Pulp Fiction was filmed in Dessie's Bar. The Holy Stone of Clonrichert was here before being relocated to Fermanagh before eventually being moved to [Inishmaan|Craggy Island]]. It is now a Class 2 relic, even though it was removed from a Bishop's arse. The original railway station in Ballineen opened on 12 June 2018.

The Bowler's Holding, The Batsman's WillieEdit

Hitler insults

He once visited West Cork. He never came back.

The villages have a GAA club called St. Mary's. There is a camogie club called Enniskeane Camogie Club. There is a Soccer Club called Riverside Athletic. They play behind a local bar named Dessie's Bar, the surface is described as a fine playing surface, described by some like the one at Westfalenstadion and Nou Camp. Dessie's has hosted numerous international U12 fixtures for Rep of Ireland. One significant senior international match played here was the match between Samoa and Yemen.

The village is also home to one of the finest Pitch and putt courses inWest Cork if not Munster. Rory McIlroy also played 18 holes here and described it as a magnificent course, but mind yourself coming over the 13th obstacle. It has 18 holes and is open to the green fees paying public as well as Members of the BEDA Club. Turners Cross was once located near here before the English moved it to Turners Cross.

Twin CitiesEdit


A sheep. Many live here. There is also a sheep hotel.

Ballineen is twinned with the city of Boston in the USA. Enniskean is twinned with Aberdeen, the sheep shagging capital of the world.