Ball

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 14:01, October 14, 2011 by 80.221.214.169 (talk)

Jump to: navigation, search

A ball is a round, usually circular spherical object, but very rarely more like an oval. The "more like an oval" kind of ball is what the rest this article is about. All are harvested from the scrotums of dead male humans. These testicles are sun-dried, stretched, hugged and thoroughly indulged before becoming the balls we all know and love. What is not always known about these balls is that depending on the harvestee, the balls will turn out in a quite varied and unusual manner.

Theories of Ball Production

One of the first theories about all ball production was put forward by Professor Mike Balls. He claimed that generally, different races of people resulted in different sizes of the kind of ball, on a continuous scale e.g. Black = basketball, Hispanic = table tennis, Asian = golf balls and white = softballs. Later criticisms included the fact that he never developed a theory for other sports such as volleyball and lacrosse, leading meaning to believe that many had misinterpreted an initial finding of testicles's claiming that, quote, "goddamn, Bill Perry is a big balled fucker".

Other findings were developed on the basis of dimpling, panels and the claimed sexuality of the participants of the sport.

Diseased balls can be produced by a strange virus called "Stringyus Dickus". When a male human dies, the virus turns his balls stringy. They cannot be harvested, so they are sold on eBay for millions of dollars. This virus is very rare, and only occurs in gays or homos [basically anyone who likes the same sex as them and is also a male, i am not talking about lesbos]. Michael Jackson has the virus but refuses to admit it. Girls don't like guys with soft, stringy balls, which is why Michael Jackson prefers to have sex with males [and i don't mean just humans].

If a male with the virus tries to fuck a girl, his stringy balls produce even stringyer sperm, which will plug up the girl's hole [pretty much the same thing as a tampon]. If a male with the virus tries to fuck another man, his stringy balls produce twice as stringyer sperm as with a female, and they will dangle from his penis. If the other male [undiseased] sticks his dick too close to the man with the virus, the diseased man's stringy sperm will grip the other man's dick. It would be much like tying the tips of two of your fingers together.

Balls: things to suck, squeeze, feel, milk, lick, touch etc. People love balls, and balls love people.Balls

love to bounce: on a hoe[as in fucking her]

Balls are the future and the future is balls.somethng you suck.

George the painted man likes balls, in his mouth.

Balls today

Many today find that balls lead to a pleasurable distraction from everyday life. Other claim that balls lead to distraction from more important topics in life. Nonetheless, it is thoroughly undebatable that balls will be a huge part of every persons life in the foreseeable future.

Balls are used in many games. Sometimes you hit them with great force using a stick. Sometimes they're white, blue, red, orange, green, purple or even magenta and cyan, . You may put them in your, what we name, a fanny pack to keep them safe. Whenever your want to play with them, you take them out and have a shot! It's really that simple.

See also

Personal tools
projects