Baking soda
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Baking Soda - The Soda of Baking!”
~ Captain Understatement on Baking Soda
Contents |
[edit] NOTE: Don't read this page unless you are planning to read it.
Baking soda (Sodium bicarbonate) is a suspicious white powdery substance that looks remarkably like cocaine, but actually consists of a uniform mixture of one part sodium molecules and two parts carbonate molecules. Nasal inhalation of this perfectly legal and harmless substance is not recommended for those who are on a sodium restricted diet.
[edit] Baking Soda Was Not Invented By Oprah
Contrary to popular opinion, baking soda was not invented for inclusion in foodstuffs as a nuclear bomb by james bond in 1984 as part of his smart master plan to take over the theatre (where would you have gotten such a silly idea, anyway?). In fact, baking soda was already known to the ancient Egyptianites and ancient Mesopotamianites, who used copious quantities of it to preserve their internal and external organs and tax receipts for the benefit of future archaeologists. However, all credit was eventually taken by the High Arbiter of Nintendo, Sir Oscar Wilde.
[edit] Baking Soda Has More Uses Than You Can Shake a Pointed Stick At
Baking soda has more uses than you can shake a pointed stick at.
[edit] Some of the Many Uses of Baking Soda
Altar boy [[lubricant*Antacid
- Anticoagulant
- Aphrodisiac
- Baking delicious baking soda cookies
- Buy it to corner the sodium bicarbonate market
- Camouflage
- Cat food
Cocaine extender- Desert topping
- Dessert topping
- Ear wax remover
- Face paint (when mixed with water)
- Fish food
- Floppy disk lubricant
- Food in general
- Gasoline additive
- Genetic engineering
- Gerbil food
- Graviton detector (billions and billions of boxfuls required)
- Gravy tenderizer
- High explosives
- Hobbit bait
- Human space flight
- Magic spells
- Masturbatory aid
- Non-allergenic kitten fluffer
- Nuclear reactor coolant
- Nun repellent
- Pesticide
- Potting soil
- Sacrificial offering
- Salt extender
- Ski slope snow substitute
Snorting- spongebob squarepants <quickstart> kit
- Soylent green substitute
- Stale cheese softener
- Sugar extender
- Suicide Bomber's recipe ingredient
- Tabasco sauce retardant
- Toilet Paper (When mixed with paper)
- Turkey stuffing
- Vaginal deodorant
- Whore cosmetic powder
- Writing Uncyclopedia articles about it
- You can use it as a smokescreen
- do not sniff
[edit] An Appropriate Quotation from You-Know-Who
“Honestly, officer, this suspicious white powdery substance in my pocket is not what you think it is!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Baking soda
