Bad maps

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“Is this the way to Amarillo?”
~ Peter Kay on Bad Maps
“What's an Amarillo?”
~ Keanu Reeves on Bad Maps
“A map of the world that does not include my location is not worth even glancing at, for it leaves out the one thing that everyone wants to find.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Maps
“Where am I?”
~ Captain Oblivious on Bad Maps

Bad Maps are bad. They are, in effect, a bad version of good maps, or even a sub-standard version of normal maps. Bad maps have caused several massive blunders from Columbus' first Atlantic crossing to Bush accidentally bombing France. Even Oscar Wilde points out that all maps are wrong as they don't contain his location. He's gotta be right, right?

edit Famous Examples of Bad Maps

New World Map

Columbus' Atlantic Map - Considered "Bad"

  • Columbus' map of the Atlantic is widely regarded as one of the worst maps. This is probably because the chief map officer in Spain at the time had died 23 years prior to creating it.
  • Galileo's map of the world was also pretty poor. Expert topogrpahers have put this down to the fact you can't actually see the Earth unless your not on it.
  • The map America uses for its War on Terra is also of a poor standard. This partly explains why nothing that is supposed to get bombed does and stuff that is meant to get bombed does not.
  • Countdown: Horrible CoD4 map
  • Derail: Horrible Cod:MW2 map

edit How do you define a Bad Map?

How do you define a Bad Map you may ask? You didn't? oh....well i'm gonna tell you anyway. The Department for Llamas Tractors Health and Maps Rates every map on the so called Mapalus Crapalus scale (Name of Greek inventor). A good map will fetch 7 on the scale and a bad on may also fetch 7, or maybe -2. No one actually knows how the system works, including the inventor and all who use it. This has led to an increase in crap map quailty (CMQ). There is another way to establish if a map is bad. It is done using the "Are You Lost Test?"

edit Are You Lost Test

Ths is the test for a bad map, use the following guide. (!!!Warning!!! This guide makes no sense)

  1. Locate the map you wish to test this on, you may need a map to find it.
  2. Ensure the map you are using to find the the map is not a bad map by testing it using this technique
  3. Start on any point on the map you are testing (if you cannot find anything on the map i.e. it is blank, it is probably a bad map.
  4. From this point attempt to get to another point
  5. If you are lost, this is a bad map. If not lost, or only slightly confused, move to the next point.
  6. Using your map, find a map.
  7. Return to step 1.


A good map has a balanced presentation, is coherent, has an organized layout and is interesting to look at.

A bad map is a cluttered mess, confuses the reader and has a disorganized layout.

edit Other Bad Maps

Here are a few examples of bad maps:

edit See Also

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