Backstreet Boys

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The Backstreet Boys during a music video in 1998.

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Backstreet01

The Backstreet Boys during "We've Got It Goin' Anal" music video in 1998.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Backstreet Boys.
“ Oh, I want it that way....”
~ Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb
“ I like Spanish Eyes...They go great with this fine wine and parsley.”
~ Dr. Hannibal Lecter

The Backstreet Boys are a notorious group of radical serial killers whose murder victims have been found around the world.

The modus operandi of the Backstreet Boys is to lure young adolescent girls to various locations with the promise of wholesome entertainment. The Backstreet Boys, once they have lured their victims to the location, commence a series of loud and unstable vocal noises along with a series of hand movements. The vocal noises reach a climax, and the unwilling victims screech in unbearable pain and soon faint. Hours, or even days later, the victims are discovered, their bodies crushed as the result of large amounts of merchandise being piled onto them.

Attempts to discover the identities of the Backstreet Boys has so far yielded little to no information. There have been groups of male adolescents who have spoken with great authority on the subject, but as of yet, their statements that the Backstreet Boys are "gay" has proved inconclusive.

The Backstreet Boys earned their title for their habit of leaving victims in the aforementioned "Backstreets" of various cities, and even the most hardened members of the Backstreets live in fear of the notorious group.

Another habit of the Backstreet Boys is their release of "Albums" every few years. These Albums contain images of the bodies of their victims, and occassionally include handwritten messages by the killers themselves (their most notorious album, the "Millenium" Album, showed an image of one of their victims with two CD cases embedded in her skull and her arms wrapped around her ribcage to the point where they are crushed, with the message "I Want It That Way"). Their Albums took an even more violent turn with the appearance of the "Black and Blue" album, which showed some of the victims suffering from large quantities of charred skin and others having died of hypothermia.

After the Black and Blue Album, the Backstreet Boys' rampage suddenly came to a screeching halt. Many suspected with relief that their reign of terror had ended entirely, but in 2005, another album appeared, this one titled "Never Gone," obviously referencing the public's belief that their murders had stopped. Their next album, "Unbreakable," was found in 2007, and showed their victims' limbs in unnatural positions and angle, sometimes with the bones jutting out. There have been rumors of an upcoming album, slated to be their worst one yet, but as of yet these rumors have been unconfirmed.

edit Supposed similarities with 'N Sync

Several criminal investigators have speculated that Backstreet Boys are in fact the same group as the serial killer group 'N Sync, noting that their MOs are remarkably similar. This idea has been discredited, however, as critics have pointed out that no 'N Sync victims have been reported since 2001, and that one of the members of 'N Sync now works on his own as the notorious "Timberlake Killer," who first began his killing spree in late 2002, when the body of a college girl was discovered at Camp Timberlake, apparently killed from a series of rocks thrown at her body.

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