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Today's Featured Article - Super-delegate

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A Super-delegate, in the American political system, is a delegate, especially to a national Presidential nominating convention, who is endowed with super-powers. Although both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party like to go through the motions of soliciting voter input on who should be the Party's Presidential candidate, actual voters are, to put it mildly, morons. Frequently, the Party must contrive to both thank them for their valued contribution and hit the figurative Revert button.

The hoi polloi tirelessly coalesce around a candidate with inspiring new ideas, be it Bernie Sanders with his untested concept of socialism, or Ron Paul with his assertions that American tourism caused the Middle East to erupt until Jews had to dynamite the World Trade Center during the September 11 attacks. When such candidates gain traction, insiders (the "party-archy") need to turn away from the hoi polloi, consult with other polloi, and pick a candidate who is more electable, electability judged by persons who cannot persuade anyone of any actual idea. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

June 29: Make Crude Jokes About Genitals Day

Calvinhobbes
  • 1194 - Sverre is crowned King of Norway, beginning a long reign of Danish Kings with unpronounceable names.
  • 1542 - The comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts, lightheartedly poking fun at such contemporary topics as the Protestant Reformation. (Pictured)
  • 1884 - The Picture of Dorian Gray is released by Oscar Wilde, consisting largely of crude jokes about genitals.
  • 1965 - The auto accident starting the "Paul is dead" hoax occurs in England.
  • 1972 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute 'cruel and unusual punishment', particularly the more outlandish methods of carrying out the sentence, such as Texas' legendary alligator tank.
  • 1985 - Your mom sees my wiener for the eightieth time. And likes it as much as she did the first time.
  • 1999 - Prince continues to party.
  • 2009 - Millions of Americans suffering from insomnia are miraculously cured when Jimmy Fallon receives his own late night talk show.

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