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Today's Featured Article - Style

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The question: "what is style?". It's one that losers have been asking themselves for centuries. Decade after decade, generations of young men and women furrow their acned brows and study magazines and television programs, or obsessively follow around more popular kids scribbling Susan and Chris 2gether 4ever or Chris's Mom iz a Hooker! or Now Chris's Bitch-mom Whore Will Never Stand in our Way Again!!! in their spiral notebooks, as they vainly attempt to understand what separates them from the enviable world of style.

Like the BTK serial killer, or a delicious Taco Bell burrito, style consists of three essential elements linked by a thematically unifying central concept. In the case of BTK, the three elements of binding, torturing, and killing his victims are components in a sexually gratifying fantasy that allows him to indulge a pathological god-complex. In the case of a satisfying and inexpensive Yum!-brand Taco Bell burrito, the fried, flavor-enhanced bean product, "cheese," and non-dairy vegetable-gum based sour cream, are wrapped in a chewy soft tortilla shell to provide a cost-effective taste sensation. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

July 20: Window Licking Day (Scotland)

Armstrong moon
  • 14 CE - Romans begin installing glass windows in buildings. Rock throwing becomes a popular sport.
  • 1276 - Chartres Cathedral officials make it a sin to lick stained glass windows after dozens of worshippers are found dead in the previous winter, stuck to windows by their tongues that had frozen to the glass. How they were able to do that on windows 35 meters (115 ft.) above ground level remains a mystery.
  • 1580 - Sir Francis Drake circumnavigates the globe, after licking windows in over 50 lands.
  • 1903 - The Ford Motor Company ships its first car, the Model R, with an engine that powers its four wooden wheels with whale oil.
  • 1928 - The government of Hungary issues a decree ordering Gypsies to settle in one place, surrender their Gypsy gold, and take a bath goddammit!
  • 1944 - Adolf Hitler survives a bomb blast in the bunker. A build-up in flatulence is blamed. Chef Claus von Stauffenberg is shot.
  • 1969 - NASA astronaut Louis Armstrong becomes the first man to set foot on the moon (pictured) when Apollo 11 splashes down in the Sea of Tranquillity.
  • 1974 - Turkeys invade Cyprus.
  • 1981 - The chemical compound Anime is first isolated in a Japanese laboratory.
  • 2017 - O.J. Simpson is released from prison, vowing to find his ex-wife's killer. Thousand of mirrors are mailed to him.

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  • ... that Tetris is generally considered to be the cause of the collapse of the USSR?


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  • ... that $ (\tan^{-1}((\frac{-5\pm\sqrt{5^2+(4\times3)\times2}}{2\times3} \div2)\div(\frac{-5\pm\sqrt{5^2+(4\times3)\times2}}{2\times3}\div2)))\times2 $ is 8th grade math?


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