Today's featured article

Mrs God’s blog is republished from Facebook with permission of the author.

May 20th, 2009

Hiiiii!

Just a few words from me, Mrs God. I know you haven’t heard from me much over the years, but now that my hubby’s away…

First of all, let me reassure everyone – “God is not dead”. We heard a lot of that in the 60s. It wasn’t true then and it’s not true now. Phew!

It IS true that He picked up a bit of a coke habit – and I can tell you, God moved in some peculiar ways back then. But we’ve finally persuaded Him to face His issues and booked Him into Rehab – He said “No, no, no” for thirty years and when God says “No” it’s very hard to change His mind but He's finally checked into the Priory and we're hoping He can work through some of His issues and make a full recovery. (more...)

Yesterday's featured article

Name: George W. Peterson
Location: Chilly Parts of Scotland
Bio: Newspaper editor ("The Kinrossie Times"), happily married to not only Sarah, but also to gardening.

Following 294

Followers 1007

Saturday May 3rd

Went for my fifth "Cabbage Check-Up" a few minutes ago. Sarah thinks I'm mad, but I don't want to miss anything, now do I?

13:35pm May 3rd from web

Have got to start preparing for new arrival!

14:21pm May 3rd from web

Sarah has just brought home the new cat, and she's settling in. She's eight weeks old, ginger, and incredibly excitable. I think she has OCD. Any ideas for names?

16:09pm May 3rd from web

Sarah has put today's newspaper in the litter tray. Now how am I supposed to find out the news?

16:23pm May 3rd from web

Just remembered I have the Internet! Who needs newspapers anyway!?

16:25pm May 3rd from web (more...)

• ...that the League of Nations was the first and least successful Collegiate football conference?

• Man suffers caffeine underdose (Pictured)

• I drank too much and now my head is sore

• The thirteen colonies of America have defeated your empire soundly

• Recession is over! Thanks to M.J.

• Puffins involved in Cocked up MI6 global warming investigation

• Oscar-winning actor Karl Malden is the new Grim Reaper.

• Conspiracy: Michael Jackson not dead, M.J. Phone Home

• Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths

• Some old guy died, or something (ask your parents)

• Michael Jackson dies! Also Farrah Fawcett

• Obama Unveils Ambitious New Tit Access Package.

• McMahon fires Trump, dies.

• Glastonbury Festival Survival Tactics

• UnNews exclusive!! The God Interview

• U.N. recognizes WalMart

• 1796 - Carl Friedrich Gauss discovers that every positive integer is representable as a sum of at most three triangular numbers, yet he remains steadfastly confounded by other number-shapes such as the octagonal numbers and the irritating square pi.
• 1821 - The United States takes possesion of its newly bought territoy of Florida from Spain. The state instantly becomes recognized for its oranges, old people, hurricanes, and other steroetypes, except for Disney World which was not constructed until 1875.
• 1938 - Diabolical billionaire Howard Hughes sets a new record by completing a 91 hour flight around the world in just 87 hours.
• 2005 - Microsoft decides to remove the "Undo" button from all its programs, "for customer convenience".
• 2006 - Realizing their mistake in the previous year, Microsoft try to fix the problem, yet are unable to Undo the mistake due to the lack of a button enabling this process.
• 2007 - On the anniversary of its acquisition by the United States, Florida is flooded while ironically leaving Sea World above water.