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Today's Featured Article - Super-delegate

MP JFK

A Super-delegate, in the American political system, is a delegate, especially to a national Presidential nominating convention, who is endowed with super-powers. Although both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party like to go through the motions of soliciting voter input on who should be the Party's Presidential candidate, actual voters are, to put it mildly, morons. Frequently, the Party must contrive to both thank them for their valued contribution and hit the figurative Revert button.

The hoi polloi tirelessly coalesce around a candidate with inspiring new ideas, be it Bernie Sanders with his untested concept of socialism, or Ron Paul with his assertions that American tourism caused the Middle East to erupt until Jews had to dynamite the World Trade Center during the September 11 attacks. When such candidates gain traction, insiders (the "party-archy") need to turn away from the hoi polloi, consult with other polloi, and pick a candidate who is more electable, electability judged by persons who cannot persuade anyone of any actual idea. (more...)

Recently featured: Super-delegate

Yesterday's Featured Article -

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*...that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
Jewish people raped these people
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Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election
bad stuff happened
StMasturbusDay

June 26: St. Masturbus' day

  • 4.5 million BC - Morgan Freeman created a planet full of dinausaur and asians from his diarrhea
  • 1 million BC - Cthulhu invents Christmas, when bored.
  • 1856 BC - Black people start writing.
  • 1855 BC - Brown people begin developing a complex society.
  • 1854 BC - Yellow people begin Astronomy.
  • 1853 BC - White people start painting their arses blue.
  • 1087 - St. Clittorus gets really pissed because she was promised to have this day named after herself but totally got screwed over.
  • 1123 - Pope Callistus II declares the saintity of St. Dildo.
  • 1284 - The Pied Piper lures 130 children of Hamelin away. Piping Hot Pies are soon outlawed.
  • 1718 - The Tsar's son suspiciously turns up dead after he is sentenced to death.
  • 1721 - Cthulhu invents Christmas II.
  • 1927 - The Cyclone roller coaster opens on Coney Island
  • 1928 - A cyclone comes to Coney Island and completely destroys it.
  • 1963 - John F. Kennedy gives his famous "Ich bin ein Selbstgeschlechter" speech.
  • 1981 - Tom Cruise brings to life a Giant Tampax, that, in an ironical twist of destiny, would kill him exactly 24 years later.
  • 2005 - Tom Cruise is killed by a Giant Tampax in an ironical twist of fate.
  • 2005 - Richard Whiteley dies after finally unscrambling the conundrum PIANOMENU
  • 2016 - The 'this is today' gag is used for the first time in history.
Today's gay black porn
Thelastbachelorparty

"And verily because it was Christ's last bachelor party, the guys also did pay for a lap dance." Many artists have sought inspiration from Judith Priest's famous dance before the Lord as portrayed in Lewd Acts of the Apostles.

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