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Today's Featured Article - Ped Xing

Chinese-2007

Dr. Ped Xing is a podiatrist with a practice in suburban Detroit, Michigan and 630 franchise offices. He is an ethnic Chinese and his practice incorporates notorious aspects of Chinese medicine, such as herbal therapy, acupuncture, and feng shui. His notoriety stems from his use of the hallmark road signs that bear his name to advertise his practice throughout the United States.

Dr. Xing began his controversial outdoor advertising in the 1980s, when the state professional organization still prohibited members from public advertising, or from stating the price to the patient until after service was rendered. Dr. Xing's signs do not actually show feet, on which the Doctor works. Rather, they show a person walking briskly, with no indication as to whether the patient is pigeon-toed, splay-legged, or otherwise put together incorrectly. Dr. Xing always claimed that the signs therefore do not refer to a medical procedure but simply to generic wellness, and because of this distinction, do not fall under the professional prohibition.

Cynical members of this professional guild knew that persons rendering service acquire a mechanic's lien over the property serviced, and a podiatrist could in theory repossess both legs if the patient did not pay in full. (more...)

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This sign was erected on October 20th...no, wait, it was the 21st. Never mind.

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  • 1846 - Engrish troops invade Minnesota, realize they took a wrong turn on the way to France and turn around. Indians scalp and rape several.
  • 1864 - Abraham Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation as a joke; unfortunately, nobody gets it.
  • 1965 - A flying saucer lands in California, Scientology briefly becomes popular, at least until the government fire bombed all the celebrities.
  • 1969 - Oscar Wilde is discovered painting a mosaic of Islamic extremists with his urine. Extremists eat sacred cows in retaliation. Gandhi is shocked and appalled, the movie Gandhi II is released as a result of real world events.
  • 1974 - End of an Oil embargo crisis: Most OPEC nations end a 5-month oil embargo against the United States, America tells them to fuck off; invents electric vehicles.
  • 1980 - The world was taken over by the governmen- er... um... Hey guys.. how are you? What with those guns pointed at my head?
  • 1982 - Mount St. Helens erupts in Washington, killing several million hikers and causing US$390 trillion in damage. Government cover up of the tragedy includes flying monkeys with super-soakers.
  • 1988 - Two U.S. Army roflcopters collide in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, killing 1337 squirrels.
  • 1990 - China begins plans to hack google and steal information on McDonalds cheeseburger prep.
  • 1990 - South Korean scientists recreate mohammed from cloned DNA of Chihuahua. The world fell into darkness.
  • 1998 - Beer first enters my stomach. Thousands rejoice.
  • 2005 - Screw this, I'm off.
  • π - The US Supreme Court declares that π has just as much of a right to be a year as any other year and declares the next 20 years to be the year π as back pay for this injustice over two millennia old.
  • 2006 - Actually, I think we have enough for today, but the rest of the month is going to be a pain, well, it's time to go "research" events.
  • 2012 - The apocalypse at the end of the world is discovered to have been caused by unyclopedia running out of ideas for anniversaries.
Today's gay black porn
Thermopylae

Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.

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