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Recently featured: Hayden Christensen

Yesterday's Featured Article - Hayden Christensen

HaydenChrist2017

Hayden A. Christensen (born April 19, 1981) is a Canadian prettyboy actor. He is best known for playing Anakin "Mannequin" Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels, as well as being in some other movies like Life as a House, Shattered Glass, and Jumper which nobody really knows much about, though his acting is supposedly better in those movies.

Christensen was the illegitimate child of Star Wars creator George Lucas and Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher from during their brief fling, and actually had a cameo as the slight bulge on Fisher's gut during her bikini scene in Return of the Jedi, filmed in 1980. He was given up for adoption to a kindly Canadian couple, being the youngest of their four children. His adoptive older sister, Hejsa, is a former trampoline champion and got into a Pringles commercial, while his adoptive aunt, supermodel Helena Christensen, was recently voted Denmark's most beautiful lefty. Hayden's middle name, "Amanda", was chosen because his adoptive parents wanted another girl so bad, so when they didn't, they compromised their adoptive son's name to fill the void. Whenever he signs his name "Hayden A. Christensen", he tells people the "A." is just a letter he put there because he has no middle name.

Christensen was raised in Thornhill, Ontario outside Toronto and attended Baythorn Public School as a child. In 1985, a four-year-old Hayden played a bit part in his preschool's Thanksgiving play. Angry that he was not given the role of Squanto, little Hayden emphatically shouted his one line, "Pass the stuffing", before breaking down in dramatic tears. It was his "wear your emotions on your sleeve" style which attracted him to the masses. (more...)
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Random consonants

December 16: Random Consonants Celebration Day

  • 785 - The Knights of the Round Tablet go in search of the Holy Grail. They fail to exit the bottle, which is child-proofed.
  • 1985 - South Africa ends its fan on interracial marriages. An air conditioner replaces it.
  • 1985 - United Airlines Pilots go on trike for 29 days. Most are medically retired aftwards with back and leg injuries.
  • 1986 - The fictional events in the unsuccessful video game Grand Theft Auto: Nice City take place.
  • 1986 - The Soviet Union launches the Bir space station. Vodka manufacturers complain.
  • 1986 - In Ukraine, one of the reactors at the Chernobyl unclear plant explodes. The reason for the explosion is not clear.
  • 1986 - Nintendo releases The Legend of Welda. Oxy-acetyline equipment subsequently doubles in price.
  • 1988 - Queen Elizabeth strips jockey Lester Piggott of his OME. With nowhere to live, Piggot goes to the media to ask for 'elp.
  • 1988 - Antonio Gomes dos Santos stands lotionless in a Lisbon, Portugal shopping center for 15 hours, 2 minutes and 55 seconds. Eventually he goes to another shop and buys some skin creme.
  • 1988 - Philip Morris bugs Kraft Foods for US$13.1 billion. Kraft tells them to get lost.
  • 1990 - British gameshow Countdown launches Random Consonants Celebration Day.
  • 1991 - The first sliced pan was invented, leading to the downfall of all humanity.
  • 1992 - All Humanity bounces back with new album.
  • 1996 - Big Bird develops cancer while on the set. Hunters everywhere cry.
  • 1998 - Big Bird passes away in peace. Three attend funeral, and there was a lovely barbeque reception afterward. All future episodes of Sesame Street© are safe, because they were all filmed in 1957.
  • 2005 - Saddamn Hussaign is accused repeatedly of passing gas while in court. After each accusation he shouts back random profanities and makes several insults about the judge's family, his mother in particular.
  • 2045 - The Germans are appreciated for the first time in 100 years for inventing the word 'Schifffahrt' meaning boat cruise.
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Islamic extremists are unsure how to react to this sketch of what may or may not be the back of Mohammad's head.

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