Babel:W2
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
May 25: National Pork Products Day (Israel)
- 14 BC - Leeroy Jenkins declares "At least I still have chicken."
- 2000 BC - Moses opens first Piggly Wiggly with the goal of "Bringin' Chitterlings to all my Peeps!"
- 402 BC - The towel is invented, to protect oneself from the great LUEshi rampage.
- 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain.
- 1840 - Oscar Wilde kills Lord Byron in what was billed as the Spat in the Flat.
- 1852 - The knowledge of towel making is mysteriously lost. Pandemonium ensues for the next three decades.
- 1895 - Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. He comments: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine", a line later shamelessly plagarized by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- 1936 - Hitler starts the Funky Panzer dance craze, which begins to take Europe by storm.
- 1942 - Helen G. White announces that the end of the world was posponed once again due to rain.
- 1955 - Hyenas take over french government.
- 1977 - God creates Funk.
- 1978 - And He saw it was goooooood.
- 1980 - Towels are rediscovered.
- 1982 - Pac Man fever kills 20 million americans in just a few weeks.
- 1987 - Marijuana becomes the most cultivated plant ever, displacing the potatoe from top one for a few weeks.
- 1993 - AB Logic are found guilty of crimes against music and are condemned to death by choking on artichokes
- 2001.5 - International "Hug a Goombie" Day founded
- 2002 - Mutant Goombie Children are found in a puddle. Government and other such officials blamed.
- 2003 - First smart move made ever by a Government, Governments everywhere are officially disbanded.
- 2007 - Jerry Springer attacked by Trailer Park Midgets.
- Shark flying at Cape Cod (pictured)
- Kim il-Thatch dead and not loving it
- Dead rapper does an Elvis in the Middle East
- Gangster's uzi kills gangster's wife
Declaration of Gin-Dependence | President Hoover | UnDebate:Is it the size of the ship or the motion in the ocean? | HowTo:Decorate your cunt for Easter | UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon | Will Harridge | Wellington (RW) | Poptropica | UnDebate:Is "Point-Counterpoint" a useful style of debate? | HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope | UnScripts:Tony Hancock: The Sperm Donor | Nillion | Great Library of Alexandria |
May 25, 2013
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's Featured Article - Pocket pussy
If you are a cat lover and always wondered why there were so many "purse puppies" with no kitty version, wonder no longer. Pocket pussies are the smallest and cutest kittens in the world and they come in many different breeds (short and long hair). These kittens are healthy, happy pussies that just happen to be pocket-size.
Many generations of careful breeding has brought us the teacup and toy versions of animals. This sort of thing hasn't really been done in the Feline world because most breeders want medium to large pussies for showing. What the toy breeds have done for dog popularity hopefully the pocket pussy will do for cats.(more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Beaux-Arts architecture
Beaux-Arts architecture (pronounced boks-a:ts) is a broad term given to a number of building styles with similar characteristics, primarily the simplification of form and the elimination of ornament, that first arose in the late 1940s. By the 1960s these styles had been consolidated and identified as the "Beaux-Arts" style and became the dominant way of building new high-rise slums and dreary structures for several decades in the twentieth century.
Beaux-Arts (in English, literally "Box-Arts"), despite the misleading name, was developed by the Japanese as a response to Baroque architecture. In the early 20th century, Japan's cities had a mix of traditional wooden structures, as well as some Western neoclassical designs. The Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923, however, engulfed much of Tokyo, damaging or completely annihilating many of the grand edifices that had taken so long to build. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
May 25, 2013
- ...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ...that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
And some others, in case you missed them...
May 25, 2013
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
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Wind turbines emitting harmless, zero-carbon steam as part of their normal operating process. Image Credit: Lantash |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
May 25, 2013
Congratulations for May's Writer and Noob of the Month!
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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you. |
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Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many |
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It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!! |


