Babel:Vogon

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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

30,550 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

Beginner's Guide to the Galaxy · Contents · Style · ??? · Poem Help · Help Save Earth

Vogon Categories · Poems! · A–Z index

Featured Vogon Poem

H2g2vogon

Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

VogonPoem

Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?
  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?
  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Myasshurts
April 24: The Feast of Maximum Occupancy, Zombie Jesus Day (Christians and Eggnogstics)
  • 33 - Zombie Jesus rises from his tomb and partially devours the brains of his apostles, resulting in most of the inane ramblings in The New Testament.
  • 89 - Pope Clement I celebrates the first Zombie Jesus Day by decreeing that people consume copious amounts of high cholesterol in the form of chocolate and painted chicken embryos.
  • 1353 - Badger maulings reach record levels in Europe.
  • 1704 - The first regular newspaper is published in America: The Boston New-Letter, containing overly-opinionated columns and hyped-up headlines. Circulation soars.
  • 1856 - The word 'chairman' is introduced to the Oxford English Dictionary as 'A person with a proclivity to stand sitting'.
  • 1862 - The Amerikan Sivil Whar on spelling begins, the letter u in color being the first victim.
  • 1981 - IBM create the first known evil computer.
  • 1982 - IBM reveals computer wasn't "evil", it was just running a Microsoft operating system.
  • 1984 - Apple builds the world's first do-nothing computer.
  • 1986 - Time begins, to the disappointment of trillions.
  • 1995 - The most amazing child on earth was born
  • 2000 - Fat-free chips withdrawn from supermarket shelves in the UK due to risk of intestinal implosion.
  • 2005 - George W. Bush declares, "America is officially full." Congress approves bypass for Haitian boatpeople to row to Canada.
  • 1995 - The most amazing child on earth was born
  • Today - You eat too much food and spend five hours on the toilet thinking of Uncyclopedia jokes.

Today's featured picture

Vogon

The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images</small>

Recent Poems

End Time | Strange Fruit | Isaac Asimov | Kent | Ad hominem | Satchel | Malala Yousafzai‎‎ | Paramedic | Police | Fuck the Police | 1990s (rw) | Accountant (rw) | Yorkshire | Cracker Jack | Top 100 things we learn from the movies | After Burner | Liberals | Christy Turlington | RationalWiki (rw)| Windjammer | Absurdity | WikiHeaven | Out Run | Bob Dole | Kings of Leon | 9/11 (rw) | Unsolved problems in physics | Fracking | Cheka | Etiquette | Television | Moruga Scorpion Chili


More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Wotm

A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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