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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

30,770 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

Beginner's Guide to the Galaxy · Contents · Style · ??? · Poem Help · Help Save Earth

Vogon Categories · Poems! · A–Z index

Featured Vogon Poem

H2g2vogon

Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

VogonPoem

Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That I know where my towel is?
  • ....That you don't?
  • ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?
  • ...That I know where my towel is?
  • ....That you don't?
  • ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?
  • ...That I know where my towel is?
  • ....That you don't?
  • ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?

Constructor Fleet Headlines

Richard Pittenger.jpg

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

WantSome

December 19: You Want Some of THIS! Day (Detroit, MI), Beginning of Blueberry Harvest Season, Hitler steals my bike. I took a monster dump.

  • 927 - The Brits conquered and killed all the Engs but named the country England as a sign of good sportsmanship.
  • 1219 - Some Random Middle Aged Guy could've figured out that the year and day were the same (12/19/1219) but he was in the Middle Ages and thus was too busy jousting. Then the nigga he was joustling stole hisbike.
  • 1912 - Some Random Middle Aged Gentleman from Britain realises that the year and day were also the same, (19/12/1912) and commemorates his 693-yr old American ancestor by pillaging, drinking and regretting [it].
  • 1939 - Hitler freaks out, realizing he only has six days left of Christmas shopping left. Then not one, but 6 Million niggas steal his bike and escape his Insert formula here'hood.
  • 1974 - International Christmas Day announced (observed by the Internation Foundation of Kids Who Can't Wait Another Week)
  • 1976 - Radical X was created by his mother in MS Paint. Then a nigga steals his bike.
  • 2001 - Michael Flatley Gay Porn music and dance extravaganza Lord of the Rings released to largely horrified reception.
  • 2005 - National "Write the word 'gay' really long day" begins on spoof encyclopedia-related website. Then a Hitler steals his bike.
  • 2006 - That Guy appears. Again. And he dies. The leader of the GOOAH is poisoned.
  • 2017 - Mike Ditka saves the world from Vin Diesel anti-chavs. Then a nigga steals his bike.
  • 2018 - Chuck Norris saves the world from Mike Ditka when the Roundhouse (London) kicks him in the foot. Whitney Houston gains intelligence and steals Chuck's bike.
  • 2019 - Mr T destroys the world from Chuck Norris by hitting him so hard that Chuck becomes aware of all of his floors and saves his own life. Then Oprah comes and steals Mr. T's bike, which he stole from Whitney Houston, which she stole from Vin Disel, which he stole from a gay, which he stole from a nigga, which he stole from Radical X, which he stole from the Jews, which they stole from Hitler, which he stole from a random middle age guy.

Today's featured picture

Vogon

The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images</small>

Recent Poems

Nirvana | Gensokyo | Sonichu | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley | Sens. Warren/Ayotte/Brown/McConnell | Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel | Dudley | Availability | UnDebate:Should women rap? | Banh Shop | Worst bumper stickers | Firesheep | Lava lamp | Ebola | Brick (rw) | Chess


More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Wotm

A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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