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31,520 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem


Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem


Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That the secret of a superb sandwich is ample wrist movements?
  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That the secret of a superb sandwich is ample wrist movements?
  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That the secret of a superb sandwich is ample wrist movements?

Constructor Fleet Headlines


Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!TrumpUK 2015 electionGreece

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...


February 26: Famous Last Words day

  • 123 BC - "To the ASSHOLE!" - Alexander the Gay
  • 37 AD - "Wha..." -- Jesus, on cross
  • 433 - "...." -- John Cage
  • 666 - "Pity me." -- Satan (on Mr.T)
  • 777 - "AAA" - AAA
  • 1332 - "What's my name?" -- Anonymous , his only sentences that didn't yet quote !!!!!
  • 1881 - "Who is it , Who is it" -- Billy the Kid
  • 1900 - "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." -- Oscar Wilde
  • 1900 - "As much as I hate him, Oscar is right. I would not want to change a thing." -- Mark Twain
  • 1920 - "It can't end like this. Tell them I said something." -- Pancho Villa is hit by history's most unfortunately-timed case of writer's block.
  • 1939 - "This is absurd ! This is absurd !" -- Sigmund Freud , after reading Waiting for Godot 1,111 times.
  • 1939 - "No! Mine are more absurd than this crap." -- Albert Camus , in reply to Sigmund (MotherF*cker) Freud refered that his works are more absurd.
  • 1939 - "Who care about absurdity , Hell are others." -- Jean Paul Sartre , in reply to Albert Camus
  • 1939 - "I am dying. Please...bring me a toothpick." -- Fred, after reading Waiting for Godot 99,999 times
  • 1939 - "See! This one is more absurd that you two !!" -- Jean Paul Sartre , awaken from his grave to make some last words and then sleep again.
  • 1945 - "Later, suckas!" -- Adolf Hitler, in his muthafuckin' bunker, yo.
  • 1945 - "Peace out, bitches!" -- Jozef Goebbels comin' at you live, also from A to the D to the Hizzle's concrete crib, yo.
  • 1955 - "Watah.......Wahtah" -- Helen Keller
  • 1960 - "Shaken , not St..." -- James BonBon, on being shaken to death by a bar owner before he can finish his Martini.
  • 1967 - "I know you've come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man." -- Che Guevara, where 'only going to kill a man' mean that he'll be later revived as zombie and sticker-tags.
  • 1989 - "Doh!" - Homer Simpson
  • 1999 - "Chuck Norris who?" - Some guy about to find out
  • 2000 - HOLD MY BEER WATCH THIS.... - Unknown
  • 1999 - "Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here." -- Nostradamus, his only one prediction that came true.
  • 2006 - "And this rope is of shitty quality!" -- Saddamn complaining his ass into his grave.
  • 2007 - "This is an Arrow!" -- Spartan Guy from Horrible movie
  • 2007 - "Snort..snort....snoooooorrrttttt!" - Some guy about to OD on Kitten Huffing.
  • 2008 - "Phdugy'dufc eibgs'ghib kuikhigihdmvgh's" -- Cthulhu
  • 2111 - "Hey Hey , My My... whatever, I'm going to die!!!" -- Neil Young
  • 2175 - "I'm that I'm not going to live anymore." -- Captain Obvious
  • 2175 - "Am I Dying? Really? What are "last words" anyway?" -- Captain Oblivious
  • 2345 - "What's this button do???" -- George W. Bush the 7th
  • 2456 - "WarniT!" -- Jesus Goffer
  • The End of Everything - "Sorry for the inconvenience" God
  • 1969-"This is one small step for HOLY...!"--Neil Armstrong

Today's featured picture


The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images</small>

Recent Poems

Ten Soles (crop).jpg

Quantum tunneling | Mika | Victory lap (pictured) | Rogue One | Kraftwerk (r/w) | Gamergate controversy | Amarillo TX | Full Metal Jacket (r/w) | Liberal media (repl) | Peter Singer | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) | The Rock-afire Explosion | Pat Buchanan | Radiohead | Trump Tower | Arthur C. Clarke (r/w) | Revolutionary Girl Utena | Neu! | Rick Perry | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w)

More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month


A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.

Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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