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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

31,227 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem


Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem


Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That your house is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?
  • ...That your house is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?
  • ...That your house is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?

Constructor Fleet Headlines


Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

November 28: Panic Day/Tell-someone-you-know-you-had-sex-with-someone-they-don't day
Panic button
  • 1834 - AAAAAAIIIIEE! Help! We're all going to die!
  • 1943 - Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, they'll kill us all!
  • 1944 - People die... and stuff...
  • 1963 - Hundreds of thousands die in global mime protests, Mimes assume totalitarian control, only to have it crushed 3 weeks later by Vin Diesel dressed as a clown.
  • 1967 - Holy Shit!Anna Nicole Smith.
  • 1979 - Don't Panic
  • 2000 - Y2K kills the entire planet, annoying environmentalists throughtout the planet, users of Macs are left unharmed.
  • 2004 - Y2K is fixed by a patch from Microsoft, life FINALLY returns to normal.
  • 2004 - Y2K is fixed again by another patch from Microsoft, due to the complete failure of the first patch.
  • 2004 - Y2K can be fixed (at last!) for those users who don't have Genuine Windows software (ie. most people)
  • 2004 - Microsoft panics. What the hell can they not-fix now?
  • 2005 - The 113th annual World Autofellatio Championship contest begins. If you have children, panic.
  • 2006 - Celebrating 445324248432479525 seconds since people invented the tree.
  • 2006 - Jesus has not returned to earth in his intergalactic space pod.
  • 2006 - Person spills milk on floor
  • 2006 - OMG! Celine Dion is playing a concert!!!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooo
  • 2006 - Chirstopher Meloni attacks Emmy Winner Jon Stewart after being screwed once again.
  • 2007 - K-fedex is releasing another album
  • 2008 - Kernel Panic: Segmentation Fault (Core Dumped)
  • 2012 - Scientists apologize for any inconvinence previous apocolypse warnings may have caused. Claim the apocalypse is, infact, 2 years ago.
  • 2038 - Epoch ends. The ultimate bug shows up. Still no Duke Nukem Forever.
  • 2046 - Glucose begins his crusade against toilet paper.
  • 2101 - All your base are belong to us!!!
  • 2102 - All your base destroyed by tsunami.
  • 2105 - All your base rebuilt.
  • 2105 - All your base is destroyed again, by a can of Coca Cola. People can't be fucked to built your base again.
  • 2105 - al;sdkfjoi;as (Aaahhhhhhh!!!! It's the end of the fucking world!!!)
  • 2112 - Attention, all planets of the Solar Federation! We have assumed control!
  • 2134 - Angry ticks fire out of my nipples.
  • 2843 - Bono finally dies.
  • 3764 - SAW 127874 is made.
  • The Future - Jesus returns to earth with many holo-hookers
  • The Future + 1 - Raptor Jesus pokévolves from Your Mom
  • The Future + 2 - Jesus meets Raptor Jesus and the universe implodes.

Today's featured picture


The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images</small>

Recent Poems

Babar (rw) | Whoopi Goldberg (rw) | Ben Carson | Robin Williams (rw) | Smartphone | Bass guitar (rw) | Polish language (rw) | Max Reger | Emo TV (rw) | Harrogate | Color guard | The Wheel of Time | Halo (rw) | Paranoia | Loosie | Panther Tank | Ridley | Zabriskie Point | Amy Rose | Meme | California | McDonald's (replacement from Inciclopedia) | Fred Flintstone (rw) | College kid (rw) | Spinchat | Whatever Happened to Robot Jones? | Labour Party (UK) (rw) | Brandon Flowers | Windows 10 | ZOMG

More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month


A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.

Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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