Today's featured article
End to War Declared
With the collapse of the last bastions of his defences, Johnny Foreigner's jack-booted reign of terror has ended in Europe. And with that we are once again able to wear our Ipods with pride and in total freedom.
The tyranny of the last six years has been replaced by a sense of joy, as people flocked to the nations
capital, bouyed by the news of the enemies defeat.
At 3pm today the King was informed by the Prime Minister that he had accepted the unconditional surrender of the Germans, the French and the Welsh. The King is reported to be "off his cake".
- 1473 - Battle of the Tulips was fought on this day, less famous than the War of the Roses, but with just as lasting effects on the horticultural world.
- 1812 - Napoleon is a little short.
- 1917 - America realises the fun it's missing out on and joins the first World War.
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In the news
- News reaches Paris of the end of the war. France offers unconditional surrender in case its a trap. Rioting ensues.
- America joins the War in Euroipods.
- Mr Oscar Wilde makes witty comment.
- War to be over by Christmas, Gov't warns of possible war with Eurasia. Airstrip 1 prepares. Doubleplusgood.
- Charlie Chaplin found dead in Berlin Bunker.
- Gov't announce increase of weekly Haggis ration.
Did you know...
From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:
- ...that Winston Churchill can fit three snooker balls in his mouth at once?
- ...that the War in Euroipods was responsible for the deaths of nearly 17 million people, the destruction of 32 major cities, 148 towns, and the one banstick beating.