(species: cantante melancholica) is an singer, songwriter, and model, whose brand of melancholy has become an anthem of sorts to millions of who dote on the songstress though none of them would ever ask her out on a date. Lana defeated Beyonce and Marina and the Diamonds for that honor, winning a fistfight on the grounds of Coachella in 2012. Her song Video Games spread quickly over the among teenagers and melodramatic gamers.
She has caused spikes in flower sales in cities that she performs in. During one of her shows, the lawn seats were covered with over 30,000 flowers after a performance, which surely owes to more than just the patrons' .
Lana Del Rey also influenced the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision after releasing This is What Makes Us Gays, a song celebrating a few years earlier. Justice Anthony Kennedy said he was inspired by the song and gave her a "shout-out" in his majority opinion. Late Justice emerged from the crypt to write a concurring opinion, stating, "I can't describe it but I know when I hear it!!!"
Her first album under her stage name Lana Del Rey, Born to Die, was released in January of 2012 and it received mixed reviews. Rolling Stoners called it "more fun than lung cancer", while more critical reviews called it "sad in an unintended way" and "worse than Smurfs 2". Later that year, Lana Del Rey released the Paradise EP along with her short film Tropico. The film unironically casted actors to play the parts of Jesus, Elvis Presley, and Marilyn Monroe in the opening scene, which perfectly predicted the quality of the whole film. 2014 saw the release of Ultraviolence and Lana's attempt to be taken seriously among songs such as "Saddest Girl" and "Sucked My Way Up to the Top".
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- declares himself King of England after using to hit his woman
- Battle of Siffin. Theys was Diffin, yo. No I'm sayn, ?
- The practice of "back handing" starts in Europe as a cure for the women talking. It has a success rate of 80%.
- The practice of "back handing" ends in Europe as reports of excessive clean houses increases.
- Famed prophet predicts that the King of England will have an affair and take the Queen of France as his mistress.
- Nostradamus's house gets egged by an angry mob as they find his prediction to be wrong and that the King of does not take the Queen of as his mistress, but the Prince of .
- King Henry VIII of takes Punch Your Girlfriend day to new extremes, by killing two of his wives.
- changes his "100 Thesis" to the "" by deleting the sentence, "Priests are not to be allowed to have relations with children."
- The is lost as and his troops march to fight off rebels while they were drunk singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. We take one down, pass it around, and 98 bottles of beer on the wall..."
- The starts as an 18 year old young British boy gets in a fist fight with a 12 year old American. The two nations get involved as they send reinforcements to help the children.
- The is invented as a seat cover, but does not sell well for making "sounds of unwanted body gases."
- The is invented with only the keys Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.
- impregnated by deadly black . born among bunch of bananas.
- Bloblobo, king of Bababa, knights, the salesmen for his studies in the field of .
- A Scottish man is viciously attacked by an alien squid after mistaking the creature for his . Several women are punched in the process.
- in terror - is born in the .
- takes "punch your girlfriend day" a step further.
- Peter Piper picks a peck of pickled peppers. Pfft!
- 35 people with the are hospitalized after having with their .
- The Green are beaten by The Blue , The Archers then punch their girlfriends for not cheering hard enough. The Eagles punch their girlfriends in ecstasy.
- celebrates "punch your girlfriend day". Dressed as a Nazi prison guard.
- punches girlfriend. Wakes dentist and long-deceased great-great-great-great grandfather Odysseus.
wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with , ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring , articles to !
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many monthsyears to come!
It is said has an ego comparable to but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of , as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
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