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• ...taht erif a ni deid ylimaf ruoY?

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Selected anniversaries</br />

May 27:, National Homicide Day

• 2 - World's first homosexual celebrates his 40th birthday by helping create The Church of Tyra.
• 1032 - In England, first "Knocke, Knocke: whoeth art there?" joke performed in public.
• 1703 - Tsar Peter the Great, retitled Tsar Peter the "Meh, Okay".
• 1895 - Oscar Wilde is sent to prison, then released when the hamster never pressed charges.
• 1927 - Researchers in America discover 8th colour of the rainbow; call it 'onion'.
• 1931 - Jesus Christ considers performing the second coming; decides he'd rather get Taco Bell and watch porn.
• 1936 - Freddy Krueger kills himself in his own dreams accidentally. He reincarnates the same day for no reason as Walt Disney.
• 1937 - J.R.R Tolkien commences work on the majestic 'The Matrix: Revolutions'.
• 1947 - Mexico Space Program launches first rocket powered by jumping beans.
• 1955 - J. Edgar Hoover wins the New York Marathon dressed in a tutu.
• 1963 - The Beatles kick Joseph Stalin out of the band. He quickly composes "Back in the USSR" as a mild revenge.
• 1969 - Hippies collect signatures to forbid showers. "They are so concentration camp" is their argument.
• 1974 - Jimi Hendrix makes love to his guitar on stage. He is promptly taken to a hospital where he dies of severe penis shredding.
• 1977 - A small visitor's center opens inside Space Mountain, with its line causing one of the biggest humanitarian disasters of today.
• 1985 - Ronald Reagan sets a new high score for Pac-Man, humiliating former champion Mikhael Gorbachev.
• 1989 - Lenin is sighted in Nebraska.
• 2006 - Midsummer village now has NO MORE PEOPLE TO MURDER
• 2006 - The Vatican, Luxembourg, Malta and Fiji form the Small Countries Alliance - the most dangerous set of allies since the Axis. Together, they have a total population of 800 and double that in nuclear bombs.

Archived Anniversaries

Unwritten Topics
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Today's Featured Article - UnNews:Canada's new phunny munny

OTTAWA, MANITOBA Pranksters who work for the Bank of Canada shocked and amused citizens of the northernmost North American Continent nation by infusing the green ink with which its banknotes are printed with lysergic acid dyethylmiode (LSD or, depending upon one's interpretation and chutzpah, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds), causing them to imagine seeing all manner of strange things in their currency.

The bank claims that there is method in its madness. The new bills were released, officials claim, to counter counterfeiting, extend the life of the bills, and celebrate Canada's dubious domestic achievements.

However, Canadians wondered why their dollars portrayed the World Trade Center, which is—or was—in New York City, rather than the Canadian National Vimy Memorial which commemorates the Canadian's one and only victory in World War I, the Battle of Vimy Ridge.

“That's an easy one,” Thomas Minton, a government official who requested anonymity, replied. “The buildings on the bill are the National Vimy Memorial, not the World Trade Center, and, besides, even if the buildings were the World Trade Center, rather than the National Vimy Memorial, which they are not, the newly released currency is intended to commemorate domestic successes, not military victories overseas.” (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Political correctness

Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

*ahem*

Political correctness was invented for niggers, bitches, fags and retards. AIDS is good because it kills off all those dirty Niggers. All non-"white straight working for the man and having two kids in a nice family with a picket fence and a dog Christian males" should be killed

*ahem*

Political correctness was brought in for blacks, women, gays and disabled people. People who follow PC should be killed. Black people should die. You are making me self censor myself bitch-

*AHEM*

Political correctness was introduced for African-Americans, females, homosexuals and mentally or physically challenged persons, to avoid discrim-

*AHEM*

DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKING POLITICAL CORRECT HOUND -

*no no not the face AHHHHHHHHHH*

Now, as I was saying, Political correctness is based on the valid idea protected under principles of a civilized society proposed by progressive elements of society and empathic and sociable interest groups to promote civilized behavior and prevent exclusion towards minorities, disadvantaged members of society, and fellow human beings outside of one's own particular society. This responsible code of conduct prevents offensive or otherwise undesirable projections towards persons of specific demographics. (more...)

In the news

• Auction of purported Gipper poop canceled (pictured)

• South Korea to chemically decapitate serial kisser

• Hit squad from the future fails to assassinate Suzanne Collins

• Facebook on the verge of Wall Street collapse?

• University of Tex Ass promotes new academic program

• NATO affirms Afghan drawdown, warm fuzzy feelings

• Mark Zuckerberg updates status to 'married'

• "Suddenly French Resistance" destroys net censorship

• Global warming found to be a lie!

• US national debt is owed to whom?

• Police investigate "bizarre incidents" at Walmart

• California woman recovers from severe burns

• Man buys Kmart just to get rid of its "shoddy" merchandise

• "To the Moon for real this time!", says Obama

• Bogus hooker sells sex in Mississippi