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Today's Featured Article - Worcester, England


Worcester (pronounced "Woo-ster"), also known locally as "Wu, Glorious Wu", is a city and high-street consumer colony of Worcestershire, in the West Middle countryside of England. Often overshadowed by its noisy neighbour Birmingham, Worcester is mother to a brand of porcelain, Worcestershire sauce, and a Royal brothel, and was the setting for the blockbusting grand finale of the English Civil War.

Worcester is twinned with the Vatican City, due to its importance to the Catholic faith as the site where a virgin swan laid a clutch of eggs, which Pope Boniface IV ate in an omelette. The eggs were later depicted in a series of works commissioned by the Vatican and painted by religious artist Salvador Dali. (more...)

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Selected anniversaries


October 29: National Ignorance Awareness Day /International Rescue Day (Thunderbirds are Go!) / Ramadan ends

  • 1497 - Did something happen on this day?
  • 1576 - Rolf Harris invents the wobble board and didgeridoo. Chaos ensues
  • 1675 - Leibniz makes the first use of the long s, ∫, for integral. 315 years later I have to take calculus. Thanks, man. Thanks a fucking lot.
  • 1782 - God gets up, has a slice of toast, then decides it's all too much bother and goes to bed again for 500 years.
  • 1929 - The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of '29 or Black Tuesday, beginning the Great Depression. I think that was like, when, everyone got really unhappy for a long time.
  • 1969 - The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. It is used to send porn.
  • 1955 - Mother Brown gets me Dog And Bone.
  • 1957 - Comma, used innappropriately, millions giggle.
  • 1972 - President Richard Nixon declares that he is addicted to the word "Declares".
  • 1985 - Howard The Duck, dude. Howard The Duck.
  • 1990 - Rolf Harris brainwashes an audience in Melbourne with his filthy basslines on his didgeridoo. Further chaos ensues
  • 1998 - Space Shuttle Discovery blasts-off with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space. He bores astronauts by telling them about how in his day, they didn't have astronaut ice cream, and there were no zero-G toilets, they just had to hold it in the entire mission.
  • 2002 - Ozone linked to Al-Quada, President Bush vows to increase carbon dioxide outputs as USA leads the way in the War on Terra.
  • 2007 - Rolf Harris returns and formally founds dubstep. Even more Chaos ensues
  • 2009 - Pam Anderson's breasts become self aware.
  • 2113 - Reality TV goes too far as God, Allah & Budda duke it out in a Pay-Per-View event billed as "The Gods Must Be Crazy". World ends soon after.

Archived Anniversaries

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Did you know...

  • ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am?
  • ...that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?

Do you care...

  • ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today?
  • ...that really fat people cannot wash themselves but must avail of car washes late at night?

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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month

David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.

Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player!

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