Babel:Spam

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Today's Featured Article - Georges Danton

GeorgesDanton4

Georges Jacques Danton (26 October 1759 – 5 April 1794) was a leader of the French Revolution who was even uglier than the actor who once played him in a French movie. Danton today is seen as a 'hero' of France. Streets and battleships are named after this Jacobin responsible for the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Even guard dogs carry the name of the man who helped to define France's big leap from monarchy into anarchy. (more...)

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UnusualSpam

December 5: International Day of Unusual Spam, International Tapeworm Awareness Day (TWAD), International Day of the Ninja

  • 1 - God created the universe at a 25% deal.
  • 666 - Shiva tells the people of India that they will die if they do not enlarge their manhood and reproduce, thus becoming one of the largest populations. Vishnu and Brahma get a cheap thrill out of watching the sex.
  • 785 - King Arthur's vision of the Holy Grail is accompanied by the words "Grail! This can be yours FREE!"
  • 999 - Amid predictions of the Apocalypse, European peasants receive anonymous notes offering "hot deals on ultra-sexy self-flagellation gear."
  • 1791 - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart chokes on his dentures during a live performance. Antonio Salieri frantically tries to dislodge them from Mozart's throat using his clarinet but only succeeds in driving them in further. Mozart dies as a result. "I feel awful" Salieri is quoted as saying.
  • 1793 - Joseph Marie Jacquard is taught weaving by a super-intelligent tapeworm named Steve.
  • 1929 - Baurhaus designs the new age spam only to have plans delayed by 60 years.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler's letter to Neville Chamberlain is headed "PEACE NOW 25% off
  • 1983 - Andre the Giant beats The Green Giant, and therefore won a lifetime supply of Spam.
  • 1984 - Feed The Welsh, Elasto-Pop's charity single, is released.
  • 1987 - Oh crap, I have a math test today...
  • 1994 - Beans are Ratified in Congress as both a Magical Fruit and as Something that grows large beanstalks.
  • 2003 - Bush declares war on spam after receiving excessive unbiblical porn in his inbox.
  • 2004 - Britney Spears 100% Fully Clothed Pics spam email used.
  • 2005 - Websites everywhere become littered with "Get Firefox" buttons.
  • 2006 - Did you know everything has subliminal messages? EAT POPCORN!

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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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