Babel:Simple

Today's show my men

Today's featured article

The Radical Republicans were an abolitionist faction of the Republican Party from the mid 1850s to the end of Reconstruction. They were vehemently opposed to slavery, believed in a strong central government, and supported the X-Games, burger shacks, shredding, and all things totally tubular. In the senate, their leader was Thaddeus "Da Bomb Diggity" Stevens. In the House of Representatives, Charles "Wicked Bitchin'" Sumner lead the faction. Abraham Lincoln's status as a radical republican is actually somewhat debatable. Lincoln privately expressed strong anti-slavery feelings and could bust out a diesel acid soul, but he publicly was often harshly criticized by other radicals for being too slow to end slavery, and never even trying to go bio on his 540s. Still, Lincoln appointed many radicals to high cabinet positions, most notably Edward "Big Time" Stanton, Lincoln's secretary of Being Totally Gnarly, and also War. (more...)

Yesterday's featured article

You hear him shout it proudly as he rushes into the kitchen, demanding that you follow him out so he can show you the extermination camp furnace he's been hard at work building in the garden shed all morning. But when you look, he's already fired it up and the chimney is belching thick, oily smoke and the stench of burning human flesh all over the clean laundry you hung out to dry! (more...)

You can put your mark for your most favoriteist things to be taken to show and tell. Meh......brain. In pain. Hehe. That rhymes.

More favoriteist things from show and tell

What happend lorng ago today

December 28: Penis Appreciation Day (Not Lesbos), Day of the Not-so-Innocents (Spain, Portugal, South America)

• 23 - Penis apreciation day invented by Jesus. Not realising his mate Judas and the entire roman army was less well hung he would regret it one day.
• 1963 - Paul Hindemith's pancreas explode, killing him a second time and 36 others a first time as he flew over Lakewurst, New Jersey. The music community rejoices once more.

• 2004 - Deciding they also liked Mondays superheroes planned a combined assault on Bob Geldoff. After an hour of the Hoff's singing and Mr T's pittying the devastating blow came when Darth Vader told Geldoff who his father was. This caused him to spontaneously combust all over Pauline Fowlers scowl.
• 2006 - Uncyclopedians lose count at the sheer number of anniversaries with Penises in them.
• 2007 - World economy goes into meltdown as penis appreciation day lasts until August 15th 2008. This only ends when lesbians attempt to seize control of the earth. Millions would die in the conflict
• 2009 - It is rumoured that Bob geldoff will return to fight the final battle between good and evil one day. The Vatican, the CIA and Micheal Stipe all deny this.

• 2072 - America elects its new Emperor, The Noid.

What happend long ago other days

Things that the nice man on the tellyvision box next to the pretty lady are telling you (betwen advertizements)

• Charlie Sheen arrested for assaulting the fat kid from Two and a Half Men

• New species joins Americas fighting force

• Pugilistic Pope peppers opponent, still not enough for a win

• Nigerian man's explosive flatulence mistaken for terror attempt
• Avatar ... big fucking deal

• Yet another closeted Republican politician

• Sex in the City continues murderous rampage

• Nintendo enters sex toys market (Pictured)

• Eddie Murphy alive at 48

• Arbeit hat nicht frei gemacht!

• Living creatures are very bad for other living creatures.

• England and France having Chunnel trouble.

• Jedi mourn loss of franchise income.

• Former President Bill Cosby bombs Disney World, kills millions

• Americans experiencing bullshit fatigue

• A Former gay-hater comes out himself as gay.

What things are happening

Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's mommies and daddies:

• ...anything?
• ...how to ngising and ngloco?
• ...your name (it's 'Bagus)?
• ...that this website are nggateli and mangkelno read?
• ...that cheese be cool, yah?

find out more

Some things that have been recently got written

RMS Avatar‎ | Godwin's Law's Law | Hollywood values | Another essay in the Jones of text | Mr. Peanut rw | Holy Spirit rw | Gramp's Insane Ramblings: Life Lessons | UnPoetia:Holiday Love | HowTo:Change a Spare Tire rw | Check If You Are The Polackophob! | Monitor rw | Herod the Great | Noble prize for Mad Science | Dark Emergency at the Somber Hospital | I Am the Walrus | Lotus Notes | Euro for Your Vision | UnBooks:A Brief Overview Of The History Of The Papyrus Containing The Spell To Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks From He Who Is In The Water And Its Role In Shaping Human History, Along With Alternate Versions Of History In Various Parallel Universes | Eminem rw | Polish language | Cleopatra | Butter rw | Robert Mugabe's Cricket Almanac | Essay in the Jones of text | Oedipus Rex Rides Again | HowTo:Write Colin Meloy Lyrics

Happy new Years! | christmas list | they Can't be read, don't feal bad | So little it could be a chia pet | mAKE fRIENDS WITH tHESE

Monkey of the Month

Aboard the starship Event Horizon. Two men face each other for the last time. One of them, Miller, is trying his best to keep his last grains of sanity, quickly slipping away, while staring into the horror that is his adversary. Miller: What are you? Adversary: You know. Miller: You want me to believe you're the Devil, well, I don't, that's bullshit! Adversary: I'm not the Devil. Miller: Then what, what are you? Tell me... Adversary: Better if I just show you. His hands reach down and he grabs Miller by the skull. Miller gasps as he sees a series of snapshots... A news desk coffee stains, an old battered microphone, a bearded hulk, dirt under the rollers Miller: NO!!!! Adversary: I'm not the Devil. I'm much, much older. I watched the Beginning and I will see the End. I am the dark behind the stars. I am the dark inside you all. I am Zim_ulator Miller: NO!!!!!!! Zim_ulator: I'm not asking you to believe me. You'll see for yourself... and so will the rest of your Uncyclopedians. I'm going now to the other side, AND YOU'RE ALL COMING WITH ME!

Hello! And welcome to the Uncyclopedia Cabal hot line! We thank you for patience and we appreciate your patronage. Please select from the following options: for bannination press 1, for kitten huffing press 2, for drama control press 3, the cabal does not exist press 4, for front page issues press 5. For any other issues please hold the line as your call is being traced. 5 Thank you for choosing front page services. To request a lazy admin to feature something on the front page press 1. To request a lazy admin to do a reskin press2. To request a front page blurb chose 3. To hear the answer to life, universe and everything press 42. 3 3 3 3 3 3 Thank you for choosing a front page blurb service. If you feel that you are important enough to have your own front page blurb please state your name and your reason after the beep. beep Hello! My name is Puffskein, I just won Noob of the month and I'm absolutly awsome. AWSOME! DO YOU HEAR! I don't want a blurb on the front page I want to OWN the front page! Thank you for message. Please hold the line. click whirrr click click woosh woosh Thank you for holding. Your name is not recognized by the system and/or you are not awesome enough to earn your own blurb. Error message #463:there is no cabal. Thank you for calling the Uncyclopedia cabal hot line. This call will now be terminated. As shall you. click eh...hello? mommy? is that you?

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners