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Welcome to Santapedia,
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Today's Featured Article - British ski jumpers

Eddie edwards3

The imperialist ambitions of the United Kingdom used to be expressed through colonisation of half of the known world and a complete exploitation of everything it had and it did not have to offer. Nowadays, this behaviour being virtually impossible due to the pressure from the part of the UN and NATO, the British decided to conquer the world of sports. Unfortunately, their plans are usually ruined by different countries, depending on what discipline Britain tries to compete in. In cricket the country is beaten by South Africa, in soccer by Italy and in ice hockey by most of the known countries, whether Northern or Southern. Such losses on multiple fronts have urged England to create several entirely new sports disciplines, which only the British would know how to compete at, notably "unsuccessful ski jumping". Unsuccessful ski jumping is roughly the same as the usual ski jumping with the only difference being the fact that British ski jumpers have, since the dawn of sports, been trained to fail. (more...)

Recently featured: British ski jumpers

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Muslim Sisterhood, featured on 27 November 2014. See the featured version.
Donald Trump, featured on 27 November 2012. See the featured version.
File talk:Gtavc tkuloi, featured on 27 November 2012. See the featured version.
UnNews:Justin Bieber eats a sandwich, featured on 27 November 2011. See the featured version.
Egyptian Gods, featured on 27 November 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
  • ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
  • ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
  • ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
  • ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
  • ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
  • ...that reindeer are never magical?
  • ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?

In the news

  • Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
  • Grandma gets run over by a reindeer.
  • Mandatory elf gathering goes horribly wrong
  • While making presents, Santa falls in the wrapping machinery
  • The reindeer veer off track while deivering presents
  • Santa fails to remember getting the flying powder before entering the sleigh
  • Santa's elves lose some of the presents they made; expect delays
  • Santa's present-making machinery malfunctions and goes haywire; many elves die
  • Rudolph goes crazy
  • Easter comes on Christmas; millions confused
  • Santa revealed to be ordinary person with immortality potion
  • Elves revealed to be robots; noone knows what to think anymore

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On this day...

Alan Beanie Baby

November 27: Alan Bean celebration day (the 4th man on the moon)

  • 1000000 BC - Food invented.
  • 999999 BC - The first feast to celebrate food is held.
  • 999999 BC - First indigestion victim recorded. More soon to follow.
  • 999999 BC- Oscar Wilde invents fat people
  • 999998 BC - First recorded case of Anorexia.
  • 999998 BC - The second feast to celebrate food is held.
  • 999997 BC - The third feast ends in tragedy due to a lack of food. It is decided that all other feasts will be with babies
  • 999996 BC - Babies are eaten for the fourth feast
  • 999980 BC - Thus ends the civilization of the baby eaters
  • 1009 BC - First recorded case of anime-character-fangirlism.
  • 1095 - Pope Urban II launches the First Crusade, thus starting the Indiana Jones film franchise.
  • 1895 - Alfred Nobel fails to win the Nobel Prize, in spite of the fact that it's named after him. The following year however, he does go on to win the lesser-known Alfred Prize.
  • 2012 - The civilization of the baby eaters rises from the dead and eats all babies.
  • 2012 - Babies go extinct.
  • 2015 - Mutant babies are spawned and go on a revenge killing spree, millions dead in days for "Making up for Lost Time"
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

War on Christmas
As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.

Recent Articles

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.
Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
Isn't Santa wonderful?


Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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