Babel:Santa

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Welcome to Santapedia,
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Today's Featured Article - Beaux-Arts architecture

Godzilla 84643

Beaux-Arts architecture (pronounced boks-a:ts) is a broad term given to a number of building styles with similar characteristics, primarily the simplification of form and the elimination of ornament, that first arose in the late 1940s. By the 1960s these styles had been consolidated and identified as the "Beaux-Arts" style and became the dominant way of building new high-rise slums and dreary structures for several decades in the twentieth century.

Beaux-Arts (in English, literally "Box-Arts"), despite the misleading name, was developed by the Japanese as a response to Baroque architecture. In the early 20th century, Japan's cities had a mix of traditional wooden structures, as well as some Western neoclassical designs. The Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923, however, engulfed much of Tokyo, damaging or completely annihilating many of the grand edifices that had taken so long to build. (more...)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Question Authority

QuestionAuthority

The Question Authority is an agency of the United States government, organized within the federal Department of Utterances. The Question Authority has general responsibility for all questions asked and answered in the United States, including its territories and possessions. Notably, when customs agents of the Department of Homeland Security interrogate persons wishing to enter the U.S., they do so through questions vetted by the Question Authority.

The Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution protects Americans "against unreasonable searches and seizures." It would seem, then, that the government would need a "reasonable" basis to ask anyone any question at all. Well, Buster, "it would seem" wrong! There is ample precedent for the government to ask a wide variety of questions, including:

  • Have you bought health insurance that pays the full cost of smoking cessation counseling?
  • Are you the nigger who robbed the gas station, or do you just look like him?
  • May I rummage through the trunk of your car, or do you feel like waiting here for three hours for me to get a warrant?
  • What was that noise? Did you hear that?

(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Kwanzaa, featured on 24 May 2012. See the featured version.
Muammar Gaddafi, featured on 24 May 2011. See the featured version.
Hollywood values, featured on 24 May 2010. See the featured version.
HowTo:Be An Honest Crook, featured on 24 May 2009. See the featured version.
Eurovision Song Contest, featured on 24 May 2008. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
  • ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
  • ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
  • ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
  • ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
  • ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
  • ...that reindeer are never magical?
  • ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?

In the news

Crazy-Santa
  • Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
  • Grandma gets run over by a reindeer.
  • Mandatory elf gathering goes horribly wrong
  • While making presents, Santa falls in the wrapping machinery
  • The reindeer veer off track while deivering presents
  • Santa fails to remember getting the flying powder before entering the sleigh
  • Santa's elves lose some of the presents they made; expect delays
  • Santa's present-making machinery malfunctions and goes haywire; many elves die
  • Rudolph goes crazy
  • Easter comes on Christmas; millions confused
  • Santa revealed to be ordinary person with immortality potion
  • Elves revealed to be robots; noone knows what to think anymore

On this day...

Img 4943
May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day
  • 12,000 BC - Og the caveman wears a Ramones t-shirt despite having never heard them, making him the world's first poser.
  • 10,000 BC - Blue eyed bitch is saved by mastodons and or mammoths really who cares it was a terrible movie. oh yeah , there was a sabertooth tiger!!!!1
  • 274 BC - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin.
  • 137 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, That's My Arc, officially cancelled. Riots ensue.
  • 1514 - Fred Astaire announces, "Jesus is a foo'." Angry fans eat records and quickly find that vinyl is addictive.
  • 1676 - The Simpsons stops being funny.
  • 1851 - Oscar Wilde appears on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
  • 1851 - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Is cancelled.
  • 1967 - A giant rat gives birth to Michael Bolton.
  • 1934 - Ban on oak, termites allergic.
  • 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Foos Babaganoush finally finds Stalin's cheese grater.
  • 2001 - Snoop Doggy Dog is misteriously murded by one of his bitches. "Faw Shizzle" ~ Replies Rapper R Kelly
  • 2005 - AOL frisbees become popular
  • 2006 - 400th birthday of the pevlic thrust! Show us how it's done!
  • 2007 - non huffable kitten the movie:god attacks! is released
  • 2008 - Due to the hatrid of people who watch Grey's Anatomy Insted of The Office and Scrubs, James Madison kills every person who watches that show.
  • 2010 - The Cleavland Show is a huge success and Family Guy is canceled.
  • 2010 - Dr Cow is feted for surviving 50 years
  • 2014 - Tom Cruz loses all hope of being a legendary hero and returns to his home world.
  • 2035 - TV show Lost renewed again. Critics complain about the lack of new content. The critics' critics complain about the same thing. 24 follows suit.
  • 2460 - Axe deodorant officially banned from the United States. The first good decision ever made by a president.
  • 2660 - Pedo Bear gives birth to M.i.L.F Bear
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

War on Christmas
As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

Wotm
Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.
Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
Isn't Santa wonderful?

Noobaward

Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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