The question: "what is style?". It's one that losers have been asking themselves for centuries. Decade after decade, generations of young men and women furrow their acned brows and study magazines and television programs, or obsessively follow around more popular kids scribbling Susan and Chris 2gether 4ever or Chris's Mom iz a Hooker! or Now Chris's Bitch-mom Whore Will Never Stand in our Way Again!!! in their spiral notebooks, as they vainly attempt to understand what separates them from the enviable world of style.
Like the BTK serial killer, or a delicious Taco Bell burrito, style consists of three essential elements linked by a thematically unifying central concept. In the case of BTK, the three elements of binding, torturing, and killing his victims are components in a sexually gratifying fantasy that allows him to indulge a pathological god-complex. In the case of a satisfying and inexpensive Yum!-brand Taco Bell burrito, the fried, flavor-enhanced bean product, "cheese," and non-dairy vegetable-gum based sour cream, are wrapped in a chewy soft tortilla shell to provide a cost-effective taste sensation. (more...)
...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
1914: Archduke Franz Ferdinand, his wife, and his moustache are shot and killed while travelling to market in an open buggy, triggering World War I. Authorities agree it was a bad idea to be carrying a Target bag in plain sight.
1942: Promptly Shoot Everyone Day receives a tremendous boost with the opening of the Treblinka Concentration Camp. Up to 6 million take part.
1963: Lee Harvey Oswald(pictured) is assassinated in the Texas Book Depository in Dallas. His alleged assassin is promptly shot, creating a firestorm of controversy and insane conspiracy theories printed on poorly xeroxed fliers.
1965: Malcolm X gives a speech in New York City, decrying the racist motivations behind Promptly Shoot Everyone Day. He is promptly shot and replaced by Malcolm XI.
1973: Bob Marley promptly shoots the sheriff, but he swears he didn't shoot the deputy, or at least he did not shoot the deputy in a prompt and timely manner.
1986: Britain's Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. He then promptly shoots her in the face.
2005: Egypt attempts to expand the festival by introducing Promptly Blow Everyone Up Day, leaving 88 dead. It is branded "a wild success" by Libyan President Muammar Gaddafi who offers to provide celebration kits to anyone who asks.
2007: An aspiring pornography actor adopts the moniker "Promptly Shot", but isn't hired for some reason.
Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
Isn't Santa wonderful?
Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!