Babel:Santa

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Today's Featured Article -

Yesterday's Featured Article - Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining)

Mst4

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining) refers to a "re-imagined" universe that debuted in 2003 and was based on the 1990s television franchise of the same name. While sharing the same name and general premise of the original program, the new Mystery Science Theater 3000 aims for a more "realistic" depiction of humans trapped in space and forced to watch bad movies. The new Mystery Science Theater 3000 is grounded in current events, and several episodes have made allusions (both subtle and explicit) to real-life issues, including depression, suicidal thoughts and the whole Tyler Perry enterprise.

Each episode begins with the following crawl:

The Satellite of Love was created by man
It was shot into space by mad scientists
They send it cheesy movies
And they have a plan
A janitor, a temp worker and an engineer -- each with a dark, terrifying secret -- wake up one morning within a spaceship. Before they can react, they are shot into space and placed in geosynchronous orbit over the South Atlantic. After reaching maximum altitude, the three -- referred to as "Robinson," "Servo" and "Gypsy" --receive a message from a mysterious corporation called "Gizmonics," telling them they have been brought together for an "experiment", and instructing them to enter a nearby movie theater. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Ph.D., featured on 27 May 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:Canada's new phunny munny, featured on 27 May 2012. See the featured version.
Guru Maharaj Ji, featured on 27 May 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
  • ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
  • ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
  • ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
  • ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
  • ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
  • ...that reindeer are never magical?
  • ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?

In the news

Crazy-Santa
  • Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
  • Grandma gets run over by a reindeer.
  • Mandatory elf gathering goes horribly wrong
  • While making presents, Santa falls in the wrapping machinery
  • The reindeer veer off track while deivering presents
  • Santa fails to remember getting the flying powder before entering the sleigh
  • Santa's elves lose some of the presents they made; expect delays
  • Santa's present-making machinery malfunctions and goes haywire; many elves die
  • Rudolph goes crazy
  • Easter comes on Christmas; millions confused
  • Santa revealed to be ordinary person with immortality potion
  • Elves revealed to be robots; noone knows what to think anymore

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On this day...

BeanRocket

May 27:, National Homicide Day

Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

War on Christmas
As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Wotm
Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.
Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
Isn't Santa wonderful?

Noobaward

Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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