A janitor, a temp worker and an engineer -- each with a dark, terrifying secret -- wake up one morning within a spaceship. Before they can react, they are shot into space and placed in geosynchronous orbit over the South Atlantic. After reaching maximum altitude, the three -- referred to as "Robinson," "Servo" and "Gypsy" --receive a message from a mysterious corporation called "Gizmonics," telling them they have been brought together for an "experiment", and instructing them to enter a nearby movie theater. (more...)
...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
2006 - Midsummer village now has NO MORE PEOPLE TO MURDER
2006 - The Vatican, Luxembourg, Malta and Fiji form the Small Countries Alliance - the most dangerous set of allies since the Axis. Together, they have a total population of 800 and double that in nuclear bombs.
Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
Isn't Santa wonderful?
Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!