Babel:Santa

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Today's Featured Article - Neu!

Killer-robot

Neu! was an experimental rock band from Germany. A product of the sprawling '70s, their complex brand of Music Theory is called "Motorik." The two members were originally employed at the Kraftwerk power plant in Düsseldorf, Germany, but their bad work habits got them fired and replaced by robots, and long before that became popular. Neu! sought to protect themselves from a similar fate by developing their own robotic sound, which gave them a huge fan base inside The Matrix and among Terminators.

After inventing punk rock, krautrock, sour krautrock, proto-punk, post rock, electronic music, the light bulb and the infamous Motorik beat, Neu! dissolved after basically recording the same song twenty times in a row, and that became the Neu! discography. Neu! remains a influential band to this day — which means that fans of Neu! are all either under the influence or dealing with a bad case of influenza.

Neu! comprised Michael Rother and Klaus Dinger. Forming Neu! made instant musical history as the band with the lamest band name and the cheesiest song titles. They performed on the Düsseldorf underground scene and a dedicated fan base would always show up at their concerts: the police, who came to arrest the band. (more...)

Recently featured: Neu!

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Land of the Jews (film), featured on 26 March 2014. See the featured version.
Nineteen Eighty-Four, featured on 26 March 2012. See the featured version.

Did you know...

  • ...that Santa has somehow delivered presents to all the people in the world every christmas, even though the laws of physics dictate that he would be an incinerated and crushed pile of ashes by now, along with all his reindeer?
  • ...that Santa, when his name is scrambled, is Satan?
  • ...even though he's a magical and kindhearted person?
  • ...and that the elves are revolting against Santa?
  • ...that Santa doesn't care about you? In fact, nobody cares?
  • ...and that Santa does care about and love everyone else in the world?
  • ...that reindeer are never magical?
  • ...that even though he has a whole bunch of elves working for him, Santa does shopping for presents all the time?

In the news

Crazy-Santa
  • Santa has gone crazy. Even more than before. (Pictured)
  • Grandma gets run over by a reindeer.
  • Mandatory elf gathering goes horribly wrong
  • While making presents, Santa falls in the wrapping machinery
  • The reindeer veer off track while deivering presents
  • Santa fails to remember getting the flying powder before entering the sleigh
  • Santa's elves lose some of the presents they made; expect delays
  • Santa's present-making machinery malfunctions and goes haywire; many elves die
  • Rudolph goes crazy
  • Easter comes on Christmas; millions confused
  • Santa revealed to be ordinary person with immortality potion
  • Elves revealed to be robots; noone knows what to think anymore

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On this day...

March 26: Fast Food Day (America); Health Awareness Day (everywhere else)
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

War on Christmas
As you enjoy this Christmas holiday safe at home with your family, please remember the brave men and women who gave their lives in the name of Christmas spirit.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Wotm
Santa's newest creation, the Elveatron 5000, has written many works of art full of creativity and cunning, and so has earned the title of Writer of the Month.
Now, how can a robot generate such wonderful writing? Well, Santa programs the robot to generate random strings of letters, numbers, and other characters at insanely fast speeds (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 per second, in fact) and Santa then picks out the strings that look the best and puts them on Uncyclopedia as presents to all Uncyclopedia users.
Isn't Santa wonderful?

Noobaward

Rudolph has recently gone crazy and made really noobish and bad edits recently. So, we've given him the honorary title of Noob of the month. Yes, Rudolph may have guided Santa and his sleigh on those foggy Christmas Eves, but he was taking his medicine then. He yesterday refused to take his medicine and now he is throwing chairs at people and mauling them, and he is making bad edits on Uncyclopedia. OH GOD THERE HE IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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