Today's featured corpse
COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)
Yesterday's featured corpse
Dag Hjalmar Agne Carl Hammarskjöld (Swedish: [dɑːɡ ˈhamːarɧœld]; pronounced like was a Swedish Zlatan Ibrahimović nose)diplomat, author, demented pulverizer of troll torsos, and humanitarian. The second Secretary-General of the United Nations, and first to be half Norse-deity, Hammarskjöld served from the rise of the storm sun until his death in 1961 en route to cease-fire negotiations.
Hammarskjöld is often referred to as the benchmark against which later UN Secretaries-General are judged; in part for remaining politically independent throughout his tenure, although mostly for his ability to hammer deep into the New York soil any world leader who went more than 5 minutes over their allotted ranting time on the United Nations lectern. His calm style of mediation and his steady swinging shoulder are regarded as the greatest assets brought to the office by a Secretary-General, at least until Kofi Annan revealed his striking resemblance to Morgan Freeman.
He remains the only U.N. Secretary-General to die in office. However it is unclear whether transitioning to another cosmological level of the magnificent world-tree Yggdrasill counts as a human 'death'; Hammarskjöld was awarded a Nobel Prize posthumously, just in case.
The fourth and youngest son of Hjalmar Hammarskjöld — a former Prime Minister of Sweden — and Freya — Goddess of Fertility, Queen of the Valkyries and Custodian of Death — Dag had descended from a long lineage of Swedes devoted to the public service, diplomacy and suckling the Æsir Gods at Asgard. (more...)
Did you know...
|*...that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?
December 29: National "In Soviet Russia, Soviet Russia talks like YOU!!" Day
- 1337 - In Soviet Russia, the fat guy strangler strangles YOU!!
- 1501 - In Soviet Russia, WikiHeaven goes to YOU!!
- 1348 - In Soviet Russia, anti-Semitic mob kills JEW!!
- 1809 - In Soviet Russia, road forks YOU!!
- 1918 - In Soviet Russia, state revolutionalizes YOU!!
- 1926 - In Soviet Russia, television watches YOU!!
- 1945 - In Soviet Russia, World War II wins YOU!!
- 1952 - In Soviet Russia, freedom has YOU!!
- 1953 - In Soviet Russia, nothing has YOU!!
- 1954 - In Soviet Russia, subversive literature is not allowed to write YOU!!
- 1955 - In Soviet Russia, married can get YOU!!
- 1956 - In Soviet Russia, the law has equal rights under YOU!!
- 1957 - In Soviet Russia, onlookers are looked upon as strange and possibly insane if they wear no clothes and start barking like dogs in public places to YOU!!
- 1958 - In Soviet Russia, peace can die in YOU!!
- 1959 - In Soviet Russia, hooker pays YOU!!
- 1969 - In Soviet Russia, moon lands on YOU!!
- 1982 - In Soviet Russia, the last recorded bowel movement has YOU!!
- 1989 - My Sweet Thang is born!!! 18 Years Later she marry's a Stud Muffin and they have kids then get divorced. Oh Ya. This all happend it Soviet Russia.
- 1999 - In Soviet Russia, Winslet fatalism subscribes to YOU!!
- 2000 - In Soviet Russia, Y2K bugs YOU!!
- 2001 - In Soviet Russia, ipod listens to YOU!!
- 2004 - In Soviet Russia, idiot reelects YOU!!
- 2005 - In Soviet Russia, the Most Awesome Page Ever worships YOU!!
- 2006 - In Soviet Russia, article hyperlinks YOU!!
- 2007 - In Soviet Russia, n00bs pwn YOU!
- 2010 - In Soviet Russia, cyclopedia uns YOU!
- 2101 - In Soviet Russia, war begins YOU!!
- 2112 - In Soviet Russia, control assumes YOU!!
- 3124 - In Soviet Russia, world destroys YOU!!
- 3875 - silence
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