Babel:Pd

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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.
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Today's featured corpse

HeathJoker

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

Recently featured: Dog

Yesterday's featured corpse


Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Cruel and unusual punishment, featured on 23 April 2015. See the featured version.
HowTo:Leave Uncyclopedia as Dramatically as Possible, featured on 23 April 2013. See the featured version.
India, featured on 23 April 2012. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?

Latest murders

Past murders...

Worldsnooker
April 23: Bring Your Penis To Work Day
  • 303 - St. George takes his penis to beat the dragon with. Dragon turns out to be into that kinda stuff.
  • 1179 - Richard the Lionhearted attempts to engage King Philip of France in a penis sword fight; "Homo you don't!" replies Philip.
  • 1538 - Truce of Nice: Emperor Charles V and Francis I of France agree that the terms foreskin and prepuce are interchangeable.
  • 1562 - Elizabeth I vows not to take a penis to work, or her bed chamber.
  • 1875 - Queen Victoria outlaws the word penis; decrees henceforth the organ shall be known as "Naughty Mr. Johnson".
  • 1905 - The Royal Society compare penis sizes. Von Lynchenstein had the largest penis.
  • 1909 - Czarina Alexandra beholds Rasputin's penis and won't let go.
  • 1932 - California gets filled with the world's stockpile of penises.
  • 1941 - Lead singer from Lordi enters a beauty contest against a penis. Penis wins.
  • 1953 - Queen Elizabeth II announces that she shall confer upon the penis the title of Sir.
  • 1967 - Bono is voted the "World's Biggest Penis".
  • 1968 - Flower Power is replaced by Wind Power, and all the petals are blown away.
  • 1971 - Penis arrives in the Castro.
  • 1975 - President Gerald Ford announces that the Vietnam War is over, after an unfortunate misunderstanding over the soldiers running around with their penises in their hands.
  • 1982 - ZX Spectrum released to the public, keyboard made completely of recycled condoms.
  • 1993 - Bill Clinton becomes the first USA president since JFK to bring his penis to the white house.
  • 2005 - The B-lizard's penis freezes and falls off. Adventure Quest voted the best game ever made by stoners.
  • 2008 - Your mom forgets to pack your penis in your lunchbox. You get teased the rest of the day.
  • 2009 - Tiger Woods brings his penis all over the place, including a Perkins Restaurant.
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

Imperialism2

Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image Credit: Thetoastman
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Pie Recipes

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Horatio Nelson | Caffè Nero | Washington University in St. Louis | World Mission Society Church of God | Morris County | Dominica (pictured) | Monty Python | Hoboken NJ | Women's suffrage in the United Kingdom | Smörgåsbord | Quantum tunneling | Mika | Victory lap | Rogue One | Kraftwerk (r/w) | Gamergate controversy | Amarillo TX | Full Metal Jacket (r/w) | Peter Singer | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) |


More recent murders | Most wanted pies | Requested re-dos | Short recipes | Lonely piemakers | Pie Review | Try reanimating... | Daisies needing a push

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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