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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.
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Today's featured corpse

HeathJoker

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

Recently featured: Trujillo, Peru

Yesterday's featured corpse

Paseo Bizarro

Trujillo is a large city of Peru on the coast of the Pacific Ocean. It is a half day's drive north of the capital of Lima on the Panamerican Highway — even more, if the tourist either slows down to crawl through the roundabouts at the posted 10 kph, or does not but pulls over for the ritual traffic stop and check for paperwork. If hours of flat stretches of road with ocean views on the left and Andean foothills on the right induces sleep, the commute could take eternity. Car tourists from Ecuador find ocean views on the right and Andean foothills on the left to be just as sleep-inducing.

The northern city is just south of one million residents. Reaching that landmark is a decades-old municipal goal and the subject of a current regional campaign. The key to increasing the birth rate is to seed nearby oceanfront beaches with comely white beachcombers. As well as being the capital of the region of La Libertad, Trujillo has the distinction of having the most nicknames of any Peruvian metropolis. Its best-known nickname is Peru's Second City. The only reason for this nickname is to piss off Arequipa, whose residents think they are the best at everything and grudgingly accepted "Second City" only after finding out that Lima is the national capital although Arequipa should have been.

But enough about Arequipa. Trujillo is located on the banks of the Moche River — a pretty fine river, though lacking the soap suds that make the Rimac the nation's favorite water park. Trujillo is far away from any frontier, and was designated Meritorious City and Faithful to the Fatherland in 1822 by the Peruvian Congress, never once quitting Peru and joining Chile, to which it is nowhere near, or even Ecuador, which no one wants to be in anyway. Lima, by comparison, is much closer to Chile, and gets even closer whenever there is a war, often sneaking across the border until reinforcements arrive. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Apathy, featured on 30 May 2012. See the featured version.
Secretary, featured on 30 May 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?

Latest murders

Past murders...

May 30: Memorial Day in the United States (2011); Lod's Massacre Appreciation Day (Puerto Rico)
  • 1431 – National hero of France Joan of Arc is burned at the stake in Rouen, France, after being convicted of wizardy for being able to produce milk from her breasts.
    Axishotdogcompetition
  • 1941 – The first Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition (pictured) held in Rome.
  • 1967 – Wilbur Wright's ghost manifests itself in the body of an otter.
  • 1984Big Brother watches you.
  • 2002 – Slow day for Uncyclopedia editing.
  • 2003 – Slow day for Uncyclopedia editing.
  • 2004 – Slow day for Uncyclopedia editing.
  • 2005 – Natalee Holloway goes missing on a slow day for Uncyclopedia editing.
  • 2013God recreates Earth, starting with Uncylopedia.
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

MichaelSatanMonkeyDarwin

St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image Credit: Isra1337
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Pie Recipes

Wa tis das.jpg

Ares | Audi | Lana Del Rey | Bird (rw) (pictured) | Edexcel | Manchester NH | Jean-Jacques Rousseau | Megyn Kelly | Whales | Springtime writing contest: Lemonade | Boaty McBoatface | Clash of the Titans | Cesar Millan | Prince | White Knight | Ironman Triathlon | Travesty | Theseus | Richard Simmons | Trujillo, Peru | Throwball | WONE radio | Iquitos, Peru (from Inciclopedia) | Helmsley | Keighley | Skipton | Calais | Super-delegate | Winners of the 2016 Uncyclopedia Super Bowl: Shredded wheat | Malcolm Turnbull | Secret | Kodak


More recent murders | Most wanted pies | Requested re-dos | Short recipes | Lonely piemakers | Pie Review | Try reanimating... | Daisies needing a push

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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