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Today's featured corpse

HeathJoker

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

Recently featured: Tony the Tiger

Yesterday's featured corpse

Aslan

Antonio Di Tigretta (born February 6, 1930), more commonly known as Tony the Tiger is the Italian-American furry spokesperson and mascot of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes cereal (or Frosties, as they are known in frostier, rainier sections of the world). He first appeared as a spokesperson for Kellogg's in 1952, and despite the 65-year period in which Tony should have aged since then, he surprisingly looks no different to this day. It is believed this miracle in aging-prevention is due to the abnormal levels of sugar and e-numbers in Frosted Flakes.

As well as his work for Kellogg’s, Tony was trained as a linguist and was a talented wordsmith, famed for his essays and works about the political and social turmoil of the world (see We're Grrrreat, volumes I, II, III, and IV, a series of books concerned with the rise and fall of fascism in Italy in a broader social, political, and economic context). He was also known and honored for his charity work, appearing frequently on television in the tear-jerking Frosties Kid commercials, appealing for the improvement in the health and welfare of Frosties Kids everywhere.

Tony was reared in captivity at an unknown location, meaning the details of his infancy and childhood are sketchy. However, at some point in his upbringing, his carers managed to train him to speak English, a fact that has confounded scientists for many decades (Tony the Tiger...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Esperanto, featured on 23 January 2012. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who s-
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who s-
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who s-
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?

Latest murders

Past murders...

January 23: Trail off in the middle of your sente...
  • 32 - Jesus delivers to the masses the secret of life: "One must b..."
  • 1321 - The Pope admits that the papacy is really...
  • 1532 - Leonardo da Vinci announces in Genoa: "The essence of the rennaissance is..."
  • 1944 - Adolf Hitler admits the Holocaust was really just...
  • 1953 - Chinese communists brainwash several U.S....
  • 1969 - NASA decides to reinfect all...
  • 1972 - The British Army launches a massive coun...
  • 1980 - Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham decides to drink all...
  • 1984 - Porn star Ron Jeremy admits his wang is...
  • 1991 - The Merry Christmas Critters level up in their satanic powers b...
  • 1995 - Virtual hockey 1995 released in Ja...
  • 2004 - John Kerry says his position on the Iraq War is...
  • 2005 - The CIA admits finally admits it killed ...
  • 2006 - Tony Blair confirms he'll resign on...
  • 2006 - Micheal Jackson sues his children for inturrupting his...
  • 2006 - The Lindbergh Baby was discovered at a qu...
  • 2007 - ...for doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing.
  • 2015 - Baby Seals establish a system of government and become...
  • 2008 - Your mom and that guy were....
  • 2011 - The Duke Nukem: Forever release date will be....
  • 2013 - I finally figured women out. It's so simple. All you have to do is make sure that you never....
  • 2194 - Second Coming of Jesus!!! Jesus descends to Earth and...
  • 3452 - Judgment Day!!! YHWH says you can get into heaven by...
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

LegoAssassination2

The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay.

Image Credit: Sliferjam
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Pie Recipes

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Peter Singer (pictured) | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) | The Rock-afire Explosion | Pat Buchanan | Radiohead | Trump Tower | Arthur C. Clarke (r/w) | Revolutionary Girl Utena | Neu! | Rick Perry | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w) | Dwayne Johnson (r/w) | Jimmy Neutron (r/w) | Coin (r/w) | Vegan food | Count Dooku (r/w) | HowTo:Help the Green Party | Impressionism | Millennials | Georges Danton


More recent murders | Most wanted pies | Requested re-dos | Short recipes | Lonely piemakers | Pie Review | Try reanimating... | Daisies needing a push

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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