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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 31,829 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Osmosis Jones

Yesterday's Featured Article - Osmosis Jones

Ozzyndrix

Osmosis Jones is a 2001 American live-action/animated buddy cop comedy film with decent animated scenes directed by Tom Sito and Piet Kroon and horrendous live-action scenes directed by the Farrelly Brothers (though the commercials, end credits, and Amazon.com product descriptions outright lie to you and claim the Farrellys were the movie's "main" directors). It centers on Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones, an African-American white blood cell cop who complains that germs are trying to oppress him with viruses and infections, and Drix, a whitebread cold pill straight outta the FDA who is no match for Ozzy's utter hipness and spleenwise attitude. The two must break down the racial cell walls and prevent seductive virus Thrax from killing their host body — slovenly zookeeper and deadbeat dad Frank Detorre — within forty-eight hours. Ultimately, Jones is caught in an intimate triad, and must decide between his best friend Drix, Big Daddy Thrax, and Mayor Shatner's curvaceous secretary Leah.

Osmosis Jones was met with mixed reviews, with critics praising the fun and educational animated portions but criticizing the live-action portions, their degradation of national treasure Bill Murray, and their use of sub-Will Ferrell gross-out humor featuring exploding zits. The film was the second in a string of financial failures by Warner Bros. Feature Animation, hoping to find success at the antipode to The Iron Giant, though it certainly wouldn't be their last multi-million-dollar mistake as Warner continued to struggle with long-term illness and creative decisions indicative of degenerative brain damage from late-stage Rabbititis. (more...)

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More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

January 21: National Dirty Sanchez Your Dad's Coffee Day, Day of Tribulation

Sanchez

Coffee Enema

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.

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Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ...that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?


Read on

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This Month's Wit

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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