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''before editin, plz raed da [[Help:HowTo|writin guidelines]] n [[Flamewar Guidelines|flamewar manual]].<br>''
 
''before editin, plz raed da [[Help:HowTo|writin guidelines]] n [[Flamewar Guidelines|flamewar manual]].<br>''
   
<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics and Government|sukky shit]] | [[:Category:Games|gaemz]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|complex deviecz]] | [[:Category:People|ppl]] | [[:Category:Quaint|tiny stuff]] | [[:Category:Coherent|grammer whorez]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|coolest]] | [[Special:Allpages|everyting]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|udder crap...]]</p> </h5>
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<h5>Browse: <p style="font-variant: small-caps; text-align:center; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom:.2em; font-size: 105%;">[[:Category:Politics|sukky shit]] | [[:Category:Games|gaemz]] | [[:Category:Computers and Technology|complex deviecz]] | [[:Category:People|ppl]] | [[:Category:Quaint|tiny stuff]] | [[:Category:Coherent|grammer whorez]] <br> [[Special:Popularpages|coolest]] | [[Special:Allpages|everyting]] | [[Uncyclopedia:Browse|udder crap...]]</p> </h5>
   
 
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Latest revision as of 08:48, October 29, 2011

welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit.


sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 31,184 articles since opening in january 2005.

before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual.

Browse:

sukky shit | gaemz | complex deviecz | ppl | tiny stuff | grammer whorez
coolest | everyting | udder crap...


Huntingwithdick

Cheney, who believed that Wittington presented a credible threat to the United States, later explained the shooting as a result of faulty intelligence.
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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate
Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

u can voet 4 you're favorit articlez 2 b feturd.

da kool stufz


Selected anniversaries

September 4: Unnecessary Surgery Day

  • 30 - The Original Artists release album "20/20: The 20 Greatest hits from the 20's"
  • 1427 - Katie Price formed by sending an electric current through plastic. Generally seen to be a lousy idea.
  • 2003 - Al Gore has an aditional nose surgically attatched to his back, thus letting him smell his own farts.
  • 1834 - Vlad Drakul cancels newspaper subscription.
  • 1952 - Colonel Potter tries to take out Lt. Radar O'Riley's appendix, only to discover after making an incision that it's already out.
  • 1954 - In the only such instance in recorded history, your mom lost weight.
  • 1971 - Elvis gets a paper cut.
  • 1972 - Elvis gets a paper clip.
  • 1975 - A distant relative of a famous musician accidentally stumbles in front of an oncoming taxi cab, but the car stops, and he survives.
  • 1980 - John Denver hits the snooze button.
  • 1983 - Michael Jackson nearly dies of food poisoning after eating 12-year-old nuts.
  • 1984 - Pop star Prince has a second penis surgically attached. Millions think he's a gimp. Millions more just think it is so he can go and fuck himself. A recent internet video proves this.
  • 1985 - Cary Grant finds his bedside table has a small crack on one of the legs.
  • 1994 - An Ace Of Base song is released. The subsequent decontamination process takes 15 years to complete.
  • 1996 - Pop star Prince (or whatever the fuck he's called now) has a third penis surgically attached.
  • 1997 - Prince succesfully sues his surgeon for giving him the penis of an impotent man, claiming it has given his other two penises "performance anxiety". Nobody knows what the fuck he's talking about. Again.
  • 2005 - Steve Irwin kills a stingray in a boating accident while 5 times over the drink drive limit.
  • 2006 - Steve Irwin is murdered by a stingray. Police say it was an accident and the stingray isn't charged.
  • 2050 - Australians finally stop referring to Steve Irwin as a great bloke/battler/fighter/true Aussie and generally agree he was a bit stupid.

archived aniverserys

In the news

Kanye God.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election


currnt stufz


Did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's biggest morons:

  • ...that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?


raed mor

writer of da munth

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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4 nonsense related noob chat, see This instructional video.

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