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Today's Party Column
Today's Featured Article -
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Yesterday's Featured Article - Canadians
Canadians are a bunch of super friendly, maple syrup eating, lumberjack, hockey zealots with big brown eyes and flapping heads. They all live in a cold, snowy place called Canada (not to be confused with Russia or Alaska).
Canada is not that different from America, besides the permanent winter and socialist medicine death panel politburo style of government. Canadians are ruled by a Prime Minister, who heads the chief death panel parliament. They have a Queen too who doesn't live there but they love her more than the Brits do. Also, they're friendly. They tend to sport thick Mullets so as not to be cold in hockey season (it's all business in the front party in the back dude... Eh), and t-shirts with "American beer sucks" slogans. Canada has had immigrants from every country in the world, except America, who have been put on Canada's "Do not board" list. All people have survived after giving them cookies, but everyone who has tried to pet them has been found dead, their bodies suffered something only Sarah Palin, could inflict, eh?The male Canadian's antlers arise as cylindrical beams projecting on each side at right angles to the middle line of the skull, which after a short distance divide in a fork-like manner. The lower prong of this fork may be either simple, or divided into two or three tines, with some flattening. The antlers are useful for the carrying of beer cans in their plastic rings. The antlers are also used as dowsing rods to help the Canadians locate beer trapped beneath the ice that covers the vast majority of their habitat.(more...)
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