Hillary Clinton also known as Hillary Rodham Clinton or Hillary Rodham, or on bumper stickers as just Hillary! depending on how ex-President Bill Clinton is polling that week, is a U.S. politician, former First "Lady," and the only Secretary of State who had to be replaced by John Kerry.
Hillary Clinton is the utterly likable and completely unavoidable nominee of the Democratic Party for U.S. President in 2016, a campaign for which she has adopted slogans such as, "I'm the next best thing to Bill!" and "Vote for me and get Bill free!"
Hillary was born in Chicago, Illinois, on October 26, 1947, the daughter of a small businessman and a smaller homemaker, neither of whom is the clear source of those large thighs. Many journalists believe Hillary was named after Sir Edmund Hillary, who would go on to be someone people had heard of when he climbed Mount Everest — mostly, those journalists who take Hillary at her word. However, the fact is that she was instead named after Hilary Duff, and her parents doubled the "l" for "teh llullz."
Hillary was raised a Methodist, participated in student government, and by all accounts had a normal youth, apart from her obvious destiny to be a Senator and President some day.
The household was politically conservative and even influenced by Barry Goldwater. Unfortunately, she fell in with the Rockefeller wing — hardly Methodist and, on most issues, strictly agnostic — and later settled on Saul Alinsky, America's clearest exponent (after Karl Marx) of the idea that the ends justify the means, whose manual on ruthlessness informed the nation's lawyers no less than its pre-schoolers. (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Gretna Green
Gretna Green is a village in Scotland, just over the border from England, which was notorious for hosting quickie weddings for young English lovers. The bride and groom needed only make their vows in front of witnesses (who were sometimes disinterested) and pay the nominal fee in a form that could be cashed before the angry parents arrived and dragged them back home. Moreover, Gretna marriages could be solemnised by anyone. This led to the blacksmith's anvil becoming a symbol for weddings, much as the barber pole has come to signify prompt medical treatment.
The village was named for Gretna Green, a nubile Scottish lass who was equally notorious for getting "married" several times a week. It acquired its niche in 1754 when Lord Hardwicke's Marriage Act, no pun intended, authorised parents to veto the marriage of a minor. Although the Act had the unintended consequence of cancelling many marriages to Welshmen digging for coal, it famously did not apply in Scotland, where pubescent marriages were routinely consummated on school playgrounds. In the 1770s, the A74 (now the A74(M)) was built, hormone-fueled engines revved up, and the race was on. Gretna Green, just above the mossy outgrowth on Adrian's Wall, became the prime destination, curious youngsters curiously not wishing to penetrate further into Scotland. It would go on to take the British record not only in irregular weddings but in irregular rail disasters. (more...)
- ...cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (pictured)!
- ...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ...that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ...that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
- ...that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ...that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ...that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...