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Recently featured: Howard the Duck (film)

Yesterday's Featured Article - Howard the Duck (film)

Howard the Duck (1986)

Howard the Duck is a 1986 American crime thriller directed by Hans and Fritz Katzenjammer, with special effects by George Lucas. It is studied in most film schools as a textbook case of how not to make a movie, unless one's goal is to bleed out an eight-figure budget as quickly as possible. Howard the Duck was released to a traumatized audience and critical scorn, but later found a cult following among human rights activists, who regarded it as a crime against humanity. The film has also been cited as the inspiration for a growing interest in roasted duck for dinner.

The movie opens on Duckworld, a senselessly expensive special-effect scene whose most special effect is to reduce the believability of everything that follows. Howard the Duck (Mel Blanc) is spending an ordinary day in his mid-town apartment, trying to complete a crossword with his flippers. He should know that any such day in the movies means one's life is about to be up-ended, whether by a fateful letter from the IRS or a baby left on the doorstep. Sure enough, just after realizing that the noise from the kitchen means that lunch has boiled over and is seeking the gap in the linoleum to be the downstairs neighbor's problem too, Howard gets up out of his easy-chair — and is inexplicably transported to downtown New York City.

It is the Gangland Era, 1935. Howard finds himself eluding police after holding up a jeweler’s store. As he goes through the jewels he stole, he accidentally runs into Phil Blumburtt (Tim Robbins), the leader of the Dark Overlord Mob. The two find that they have a lot in common, apart from growing up on different planets. Howard joins the Mob, where he discovers that they are blackmailing bombshell race-car driver Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson) to steal from her. A love-smitten Howard gives up hopes of returning to Duckworld, as Earth women seem to be much easier.(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Pocket pussy, featured on 24 May 2013. See the featured version.
Kwanzaa, featured on 24 May 2012. See the featured version.

DID U KNOE...

Drowning
  • ...that I started drowning two minutes before typing this? (pictured)
  • ...that really fat people cannot wash themselves but must avail of car washes late at night?
  • ...that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
  • ...that at any second, of any minute, of any hour, of any day, a massive nuclear bomb could land on your house?
  • ...about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly asinine alignments?
  • ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ...that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?

In the news

ON DIS DAI...

Img 4943
May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day
  • 12,000 BC - Og the caveman wears a Ramones t-shirt despite having never heard them, making him the world's first poser.
  • 10,000 BC - Blue eyed bitch is saved by mastodons and or mammoths really who cares it was a terrible movie. oh yeah , there was a sabertooth tiger!!!!1
  • 274 BC - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin.
  • 137 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, That's My Arc, officially cancelled. Riots ensue.
  • 1514 - Fred Astaire announces, "Jesus is a foo'." Angry fans eat records and quickly find that vinyl is addictive.
  • 1676 - The Simpsons stops being funny.
  • 1851 - Oscar Wilde appears on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
  • 1851 - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Is cancelled.
  • 1967 - A giant rat gives birth to Michael Bolton.
  • 1934 - Ban on oak, termites allergic.
  • 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Foos Babaganoush finally finds Stalin's cheese grater.
  • 2001 - Snoop Doggy Dog is misteriously murded by one of his bitches. "Faw Shizzle" ~ Replies Rapper R Kelly
  • 2005 - AOL frisbees become popular
  • 2006 - 400th birthday of the pevlic thrust! Show us how it's done!
  • 2007 - non huffable kitten the movie:god attacks! is released
  • 2008 - Due to the hatrid of people who watch Grey's Anatomy Insted of The Office and Scrubs, James Madison kills every person who watches that show.
  • 2010 - The Cleavland Show is a huge success and Family Guy is canceled.
  • 2010 - Dr Cow is feted for surviving 50 years
  • 2014 - Tom Cruz loses all hope of being a legendary hero and returns to his home world.
  • 2035 - TV show Lost renewed again. Critics complain about the lack of new content. The critics' critics complain about the same thing. 24 follows suit.
  • 2460 - Axe deodorant officially banned from the United States. The first good decision ever made by a president.
  • 2660 - Pedo Bear gives birth to M.i.L.F Bear
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Falstropskittenhuffing

Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.

Image Credit: Sannse
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RESENT ARTICLEZ

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MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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