Hayden A. Christensen (born April 19, 1981) is a Canadian prettyboy actor. He is best known for playing Anakin "Mannequin" Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels, as well as being in some other movies like Life as a House, Shattered Glass, and Jumper which nobody really knows much about, though his acting is supposedly better in those movies.
Christensen was the illegitimate child of Star Wars creator George Lucas and Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher from during their brief fling, and actually had a cameo as the slight bulge on Fisher's gut during her bikini scene in Return of the Jedi, filmed in 1980. He was given up for adoption to a kindly Canadian couple, being the youngest of their four children. His adoptive older sister, Hejsa, is a former trampoline champion and got into a Pringles commercial, while his adoptive aunt, supermodel Helena Christensen, was recently voted Denmark's most beautiful lefty. Hayden's middle name, "Amanda", was chosen because his adoptive parents wanted another girl so bad, so when they didn't, they compromised their adoptive son's name to fill the void. Whenever he signs his name "Hayden A. Christensen", he tells people the "A." is just a letter he put there because he has no middle name.
Christensen was raised in Thornhill, Ontario outside Toronto and attended Baythorn Public School as a child. In 1985, a four-year-old Hayden played a bit part in his preschool's Thanksgiving play. Angry that he was not given the role of Squanto, little Hayden emphatically shouted his one line, "Pass the stuffing", before breaking down in dramatic tears. It was his "wear your emotions on your sleeve" style which attracted him to the masses. (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article -
DID U KNOE...
- ...I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (pictured)
- ...that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ...that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
- ...that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
- ...that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ...that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ...that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
In the news
ON DIS DAI...
December 15: International Björk Day, Hooker Appreciation Day (Canada), Small Donga Day (USA Whites only), second attempt at end of the world (End of the world cult, New Mexico (Michael Travesser))
- 1200 BC - "Oh my god! I love those boots! Where did you get them? I have to get a pair!
- 0 - Nothingness.
- 1485 - The Renaissance man is created when Leonardo DaVinci gets pissed off at all those dammned deadlines set by everyone. Tell your local polymath to calm down, nobody wants another one of these things roaming the earth.
- 1942 - Capitalism claims responsibility for the murder of 12,000 children
- 1969 - In response to the San Francisco Exhibition Incident of 1969, the United Nations imposes a world-wide ban on suicide by pointless drivel, the only death penalty enforced by the UN.
- 1978 - Massive grease fire at the Grease Hut burns on for hours. The little boy who lives down the street falls into it and is incinerated, while the management feels just awful about it.
- 1993 - Scotland invades Europe, first use of Haggis Device. Mass confusion follows as Haggis Device powered by Kilt-Wearin' Mofo. Charlie Weatherby is born, lots of people scream in terror and commit suicide by chocolate.
- 1994 - Foundation of New Björk City. Swedish chef goes Björk Björk Björk!.
- 2005 - Stan formed, ruled by Stan in the Empire of Stan.
- 2005 - Roughly estimated to be the founding of the Neo Illuminati. Due to temporal manipulation technology, the date could be off as much as 400 eons, 356 years, 11 months, 43 weeks, 3 days, 2 hours, 55 minutes, 34 seconds, and 2 picoseconds.
- 2006 - John Dies at the End
- 2007 - End of the world at midnight, New Mexico. Michael Travesser's cult commit mass suicide, probably, or something. he had sex with little girls and loads of married women, yet it's all about his sacrifice, isn't it.
| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
|For the glory of her majesty|
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.