Today's Featured Article - Style
The question: "what is style?". It's one that losers have been asking themselves for centuries. Decade after decade, generations of young men and women furrow their acned brows and study magazines and television programs, or obsessively follow around more popular kids scribbling Susan and Chris 2gether 4ever or Chris's Mom iz a Hooker! or Now Chris's Bitch-mom Whore Will Never Stand in our Way Again!!! in their spiral notebooks, as they vainly attempt to understand what separates them from the enviable world of style.
Like the BTK serial killer, or a delicious Taco Bell burrito, style consists of three essential elements linked by a thematically unifying central concept. In the case of BTK, the three elements of binding, torturing, and killing his victims are components in a sexually gratifying fantasy that allows him to indulge a pathological god-complex. In the case of a satisfying and inexpensive Yum!-brand Taco Bell burrito, the fried, flavor-enhanced bean product, "cheese," and non-dairy vegetable-gum based sour cream, are wrapped in a chewy soft tortilla shell to provide a cost-effective taste sensation. (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article -
DID U KNOE...
- ... that the Angel of Death is after you? (pictured)
- ... that no greater man hath subtriculated the monolith than the one who hath manifested odontological callioptery?
- ... colourless is actually a valid colour, making "colourless" very colourful?
- ... the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... the reason they tell you not to look at the sun is because if you look too long you'll realise it's just a giant lamp taped there?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... there is no truth to the rumour that Candlejack kidnaps people who sa
In the news
ON DIS DAI...
July 19: Swallows Return (San Juan Capistrano, US), Great Cat Feast (also San Juan Capistrano), Ice Age ends
- 1018 - King Æthelred the Unready finally thinks of a snappy reply to an insult by the Vikings. Unfortunately, he is already dead.
- 1545 - The Tudor warship Mary Rose sinks off Portsmouth, after leaving a porthole ajar in a storm.
- 1553 - Jean Grey (pictured) is replaced as Phoenix by Queen Mary, after holding that title for just nine days.
- 1864 - Rebels are defeated in the Taiping Rebellion by Chinese forces, with elements regrouping to join Robert E. Lee in Virginia.
- 1870 – France declares war on Chef Boyardee, starting the Franco-American War.
- 1877 - The first Wimbledon Tennis Championship is held, oddly enough, in Hoboken, New Jersey.
- 1992 - Actor Luke Perry reaches the height of his celebrity and records a world-record 18 public service announcements in one day.
- 1977 - The first GPS signal is sent and scientists tracking it are sent to parts unknown, never to be seen again.
- 2622 - Time machines are invented, and history is re-written. All the above is rendered possibly false.
| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
|For the glory of her majesty|
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.