Today's Featured Article - Fan fiction
Fan fiction is a type of "writing style" which immediately makes you look like a loser at life. Despite it being a tempting idea to make one of your own. Let's avoid it and call it a day instead. You're not going to succeed, and creating one just lowers your self-importance and turns you into a mindless drone of Fandom. Getting published for Creative Nonfiction and having a public domain fandom to work with, if you get published for this you might gain more respect than snagging characters that are not yours. That simple, it's stealing you damned fantard and trademark infringement.
Just quit it already. Work with a real word process and write creative nonfiction, there are things just too fucked up that you just cannot make up. No really go look up Not The Babylon Bee if you don't believe us. Invest in grabbing a free word processor somewhere and display your rejection letters from Liquid Imagination. (Fan fiction...)
Yesterday's Featured Article -
DID U KNOE...
- ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (pictured)
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that the speed of light is inversely proportional to the intelligence of the person holding the stopwatch?
- ... that the butler did it?
- ... that Pennsyltucky is not really the 57th state but is a good source of fiber?
- ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
In the news
ON DIS DAI...
February 18: Martian Invasion Day
- 1789 - Capybaras decide to part their hair on the right side. For unknown reasons, this enrages Martians.
- 1877 - Astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli is the first to observe canali on Mars, leading to people speculating that there is water in canals and therefore life on Mars. However, we know today Schiaparelli was misinterpreted, actually saying he saw carnivali with large Ferris wheels and roller coasters.
- 1881 - Martians begin to eye Earth while their 35 other eyes keep to the task at hand: Go Fish.
- 1898 - Martians attempt their first invasion of the Earth. They attempt to establish fast-growing Martian red weed but immediately upon planting it is snatched up by humans and smoked. They are also keen on hentai tentacle rape but catch so many STDs that they nearly all die.
- 1930 - Elm Farm Ollie becomes the first cow to fly in a fixed-wing aircraft and also the first cow to be milked in an aircraft. She would later barnstorm in her self-built plane and hand out ice cream to children as flying at high altitudes is quite cold.
- 1932 - The Mars Bar is invented in England and successfully invades the rest of the world, using the name "Mickey Way" in America. Martians are agog, while Adolf Hitler watches and waits.
- 1953 - Martians invade again, this time hiding in a sandpit in the US. They now have new technology, miniaturized mind control devices that are very slowly implanted for dramatic tension. Unfortunately their hulking minions get their zippers caught on anything and everything, even underground. After worrying they might have left the stove on, Martians decide to return home.
- 1977 - Little silver aliens attempt to land in the US but are foiled as their landing spot, a pile of mashed potatoes, proves to be too soft due to too much milk and butter added to the mix.
- 1978 - Invading Martians are driven off again, this time by the repetitive prog rock soundtrack used with news programming and a droning Richard Burton doing voiceover commentary.
- 2000 - Rock finally beats paper but is disqualified on appeal after camera review.
- 2010 - Martians land again but it is only to return the Sojourner and Spirit rover vehicles with parking tickets attached.
| COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
|For the glory of her majesty|
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.