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Recently featured: A Very Special Article

Yesterday's Featured Article - A Very Special Article

FakeTed1

A Very Special Article deals with mature themes that may not be suitable for all readers. Parents are advised to use their discretion before allowing minors to access the article or any other article about the problems that might be killing them. Furthermore, Focus on the Family donors are encouraged to read the article in its entirety, as it is sure to contain sensationalizing narration with details that are sordid—perhaps even sexual—in nature. Protect your children.

The editors of this article are ordinary people except for the myriad dramatic incidents that pervade every waking moment of their dismal lives.

Timmy had long taken pride in his work as an Uncyclopedia editor. After making his first edit (replacing the first "e" in "cemetery" with an "a") he ran downstairs and said, "Look, Daddy! I fixed it!" Then in a pathetic attempt at ventriloquism Timmy manipulated the head of a teddy bear he had sprayed with his father's cologne and said, "I'm so proud of you, Timmy!" For Timmy's father was not there at all. He was with Timmy's "Aunt" Lana, whom Timmy's father had made a rendezvous with three months earlier at a motel while on a "work retreat", so that they could "fuck each other's brains out". (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured

DID U KNOE...

Caligula12

In the news

ON DIS DAI...

Autumnal Unquinox

September 22: Autumnal Unquinox, Annual Shout at the Elderly Day

  • 66 CE - Emperor Nero creates the Legion Italica, who wrote in all italics.
  • 1465 - Aztec tourists discover autumn in the resort town of Equinox, Vermont, a town named for an Aroostook chief who tended to fall off his horse. The first day of autumn is named after the town.
  • 1742 - Instead of the sun, a giant inflatable Wario head rises in the east followed by an encore of Bowser's Castle music for the entire morning. This would be heard and seen all over the globe.
  • 1785 - Britain fails to recognise autumn any longer, after realising that "the weather's always crap, every bloody day!"
  • 1816 - Autumn is cancelled after the Year Without a Summer.
  • 1827 - Some guy invents Mormonism.
  • 1867 - New England businessmen and scientists announce they genetically modified trees to change colors in autumn, as part of a plan to lure Southern tourists back North after the Civil War. The plan fails when the first Southern tourists complain about the integration of colored trees with non-colored trees.
  • 1898 - Toast is invented by Cthulu.
  • 1939 - America is yet to join World War II; Roosevelt requires more persuasion.
  • 1960 - Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham is first published, provoking the law that Best Before Date stickers are to be put on all eggs and ham. This law is later extended to include all perishable food items and Michael Jackson's career.
  • 2001 - The Federal Communications Commission places a largely ignored ban on the use of fall as a synonym for autumn, citing complaints by family members of September 11 victims.
  • 2003 - Plans to change winter to "Gets-back-up-again" are shelved, because it is "stupid".
  • 2004 - The countdown timer in Lost secretly goes below zero and counts down to minus 108, before displaying a picture of the Rosetta Stone and then a large Wikipedia logo. On a completely unrelated note, a plane crashes on the island and the first series of Lost begins.
  • 2009 - The renown special forces operative, marine and space cosmonaut, Master Chief, is found dead with his life partner Arby laying over him weeping. When consoled, he gives an account of their first sexual encounter since their relationship began. Arby states that his species has to wipe out the lint in their bladder everyday or it is projected out at near FTL speeds from one of their sexual organs, usually the phallus. Arby forgot.
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

Backofhead

Islamic extremists are unsure how to react to this sketch of what may or may not be the back of Mohammad's head.

Image Credit: Modusoperandi
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RESENT ARTICLEZ

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Riverdance (expanded) (pictured) | Jeff Sessions | John McCain | Absolute power | Michael Rosen | 11th century | A Very Special Article (rw) | Spanish in Argentina | Living Room | Zamenhof's Witnesses | Christy Turlington (rw) | Uncyclopedia paranormal activity | 1st century | OpenGeofiction | Deep State | Asteroids | Parrot | Hogs of War | Humanitarian | Rosh Hashanah |






MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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