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Today's Featured Article - Georges Danton

GeorgesDanton4

Georges Jacques Danton (26 October 1759 – 5 April 1794) was a leader of the French Revolution who was even uglier than the actor who once played him in a French movie. Danton today is seen as a 'hero' of France. Streets and battleships are named after this Jacobin responsible for the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Even guard dogs carry the name of the man who helped to define France's big leap from monarchy into anarchy. (more...)

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Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Declaration of Gin-Dependence, featured on 2 December 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:Town council takes 'steps' to tackle crime, featured on 2 December 2011. See the featured version.

DID U KNOE...

Walrus in pain
  • ...that the WWF is the only "sports entertainment" organization endorsed by PETA and Greenpeace? (pictured)
  • ...that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
  • ...that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ...that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ...that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ...that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ...that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?

In the news

ON DIS DAI...

VikingSoap

December 2: International Boring Nordic Culture Heritage Day

  • 6000 BC - Mankind born from the toil of an ice giant melting to the ocean. At least that's what Viking creationists say.
  • 432 - Thor gets arrested in Valhalla after being accused of destroying an orphanage while Drunk Chariot Driving. Embarrassed, the Nordic people begin converting to Christianity.
  • 793 - Vikings visit Lindisfarne Abbey in Northern England, bringing home a suspicious amount of souvenirs.
  • 900 - Erik the Red, a Viking explorer and real estate agent, discovers a big block of ice, utterly unsuitable for human life. He gives it the name 'Greenland' to attract customers.
  • 957 - A third Denmarks population dies victim of the mysterious axe in the head plague.
  • 966 - Vikings reach Constantinople, bringing home alabaster chess sets and cheap carpets as souvenirs.
  • 1000 - Explorer and murderer Leif Erikson discovers America, but realizes his mistake in time and lets Columbus and Vespucci have all the blame.
  • 1429 - Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, decides not to be, and disappeares immediately.
  • 1755 - Danish pastries are first introduced to non-Danes.
  • 1859 - Hans Christian Andersen writes The Emperor Is A Nudist, a beloved fairy tale.
  • 1916 - Europe at war. Swedes have an excellent game of bridge.
  • 1940 - Europe at war again. Swedes read a lot of good books.
  • 2010 - Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.
  • 2009 - God kills three (3) men, each named Jeff.
COLONIZASHUN OV TEH WEEK
For the glory of her majesty
HALP US CLEAR TEH IVY OV CRAP,
AN PLANT TEH SEEDZ OV HUMOR.

TODAIS FEATURD PICCHUR

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Image Credit: Nonymous
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RESENT ARTICLEZ

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Rick Perry (pictured) | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w) | Dwayne Johnson (r/w) | Jimmy Neutron (r/w) | Coin (r/w) | Vegan food | Count Dooku (r/w) | HowTo:Help the Green Party | Impressionism | Millennials | Georges Danton | Yaroslavl | Methodists | Cartoon Network (r/w) | Billy Joel (r/w) | Tim Berners-Lee | Saturday Night Fever | Anarchy | Theresa May | Tim Farron | Benedict Cumberbatch | Melania Trump | Courtney Love | Pokémon Go | Pets | Lapwing | Brexit | Glastonbury Festival | Dog (r/w)


MOAR RESENT ARTICLEZ | MOST WANTD PAGEZ | REQUESTD REWRITEZ | ADD 2 STUBS | LONELY PAGEZ | PEE REVIEW | TRY WRITIN BOUT... | STUCK ARTICLEZ NEEDIN PUSH | GREAT IDEAS

WRITR AN N00B OV TEH MONTH

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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