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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured:

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Yesterday's Featured Article - Trump Tower

Trump Tower 3
The Trump Tower is the Manhattan headquarters of the Trump Organization and home of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, who lives with wife Melanoma in the penthouse bachelor pad. Though only the 64th tallest building in New York City, it is far better than all the others, so much better, you're going to see just how much better. It essentially is taller than all the rest. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Power, featured on 22 January 2015. See the featured version.
The Ghost Writer (film), featured on 22 January 2014. See the featured version.
Psychic, featured on 22 January 2013. See the featured version.
Bad things have happened recently, featured on 22 January 2012. See the featured version.

Idday ouyay owknay...

689509 military parade 2
  • ...that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (pictured)
  • ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
    • ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.
  • ...that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ...that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ...that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ...that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?
  • ...that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?

In the news

Onay isthay ayday...

January 22: National Cover-Up Day (USA)
  • 1012 - The second coming did not happen.
  • 1492 - Nothing happened. You didn't see anything, so it doesn't count.
  • 1776 - The United States of America was always unquestionably free.
  • 1812 - We had reasonable cause to attack.
  • 1847 - The United States retaliated against a Mexican surprise attack.
  • 1861 - The United States was always united.
  • 1917 - The United States irrefutably wins World War I in late-inning heartstopper.
  • 1945 - The United States irrefutably wins World War II in extra time. Germans claim the ball had not crossed the line. England don't care.
  • 1965 - The United States irrefutably wins the Vietnam War in seven games.
  • 1974 - President Nixon finishes out his "optional" term of office.
  • 2001 - Heavy winds cause the World Trade Center towers to weaken.
  • 2003 - The United States irrefutably wins the War in Iraq in a 4-game whitewash.
  • 2005 - It is the policy of this Administration not to discuss ongoing investigations.
  • 2006 - Global Warming? What Global Warming?
  • 2007 - There is no Grand Conspiracy.
  • 2012 - The world will not end.
  • 9999 - Nothing will happen. Quite boring.

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Errors

Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here.

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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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