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Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 31,865 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

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A typical hand grenade used against tanks in WWII.
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Today's Featured Article - Brave New World

Brave New World

Brave New World depicts a utopian society of the future, one in which everyone is produced by cloning in a hatchery and forced into a caste system. British author Aldous Huxley (pictured) wrote it—after a vacation to America where he was terrified by American promiscuity, mass-produced consumer goods, sparkling teeth, and large portions at restaurants—as a counterpoint to the optimistic predictions of the future, such as 1984, that his contemporaries were writing. Somehow, Huxley has been able to work this theme into not only a story but an entire novel, and later, a children’s toy franchise; specializing in action figures designed to shoot out those little spring-loaded missiles that seem to disappear within a few days of purchase.

The book continues to be a staple of secondary education, as it lets kids read sexually fueled literature by an author who was high on every drug known to man, including soma and acid. It is a popular book assignment in high school due to its depressing philosophy, which a student can be assigned to convert into a ponderously long essay that could easily be the beginnings of a deeply depressing doctoral thesis paper or a teen suicide note to the beta pluses that never understood them at Mensa. The book itself gives useful help on ponderousness, frequently using sentences longer than the time it takes to sing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl.(more...)

Recently featured: Brave New World

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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

March 24: International Do-It-Yourself Day

  • 1857 - Oscar Wilde pens his story The Soul of Man under Socialism while under something else.
  • 1943 - Jackson Pollock unveils his long-awaited third exhibition, featuring the classic Angsty Orange Tiger.
  • 1964 - The ping pong incident occurs at my high school, and will torment me for over forty years until my son avenges me.
  • 1991 - The first child is admitted to the hospital for Phonics addiction in the beginning of a nation-wide pandemic, resulting in thousands of kids becoming 'hooked'.
  • 1994 - Kitty porn makes its first appearance on the primitive internet.
  • 2004 - Goku is effected by the ping pong incident putting his father in shame for 40 more years.
  • 2007 - The first human trials of Neuroipods suffer drawbacks when a vast majority of test subjects contract iEllepsy.
  • 2010 - Sarah Palin kicks off the first annual Alaskan Sasquatch Appreciation Day.
  • 2043 - Ping pong becomes extinct after being shot by Dick Cheney as it was mistaken for a bike.
  • 2044 - The ping pong incident is never resolved.

Archived doings

Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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